


Red Expectant

by Birdy_101



Category: TMNT (2007), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Blood, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, Brothers, Demisexual Raphael, Domestic Fluff, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Family Bonding, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Graphic Description, Human Raphael, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Male Lactation, Medical Procedures, Mpreg, Mystery, Not Alternate Universe, OC in Flashbacks Only, OC whumper, Possible Character Death, Raph's emotional journey, Sibling Bonding, Whump, actually adorable, graphic birth, graphic labor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2020-03-06 19:51:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 33
Words: 46,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18857938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Birdy_101/pseuds/Birdy_101
Summary: “Come on,” Mikey followed his brothers into the kitchen, sitting atop the counter. “Don’t be a grump Raph. It’s a little baby!”“No, it’s not,” Raph could feel his insides swirling. “It’s a bunch of cells sent here to be a nuisance."“Well technically,” Donny shrugged. “Depending on how far along it is it could be a zygote.”Raph did his best to roll his eyes, bile burning up his throat.





	1. Chapter One

“Why?” he demanded. “Why did you do that?” The teenager stood in the living room, wild brown hair falling in his angry face, a red bandana tied around his forehead. Dark skin littered with dark freckles he looked like he’d been driving through a dirt road during a rainstorm with the windows down. Well tuned muscles were the only thing that pulled at the loose fitting red t-shirt. His square jaw set he glared at the far shorter willowy April with intense forested green eyes. 

Moving red locks of hair back into a messy ponytail she rolled her eyes. “Raphael, I’m just trying to help.”

“Yeah,” Raph crossed his arms, forcing himself to stay under control. “I know.”

“And your brothers know you best.”

Raph nodded shortly.

For a moment he fought with himself “So when will they be here?”

“Should be any minute.”

Casey came out with four pizza boxes. “It they finish off my food I will end them.”

Raph snorted. “Good luck with that.” He shifted in his seat, his stomach still squirming. 

“Raph,” April began. “There is something I should tell you before they get here.”

He glanced up. “Hmmm?”

“Splinter…”

“You didn’t tell him did you?” He sat up, still as a stone.

“No. I didn’t even tell him to come tonight,” April shook her head quickly. 

“Good,” Raph swallowed, trying to get his heart rate under control.

“But I think  _ you  _ should talk to him,” April cut across him. 

“Why?” Raph stayed firm. “He doesn’t need to know.”

April and Casey exchanged glances. “Why wouldn’t he need to know about-”

The window of the fire escape opened, three hulking figures stepping into the apartment. 

Raph sunk further into his chair, pushing himself to the corner of the couch. 

“What’s up?” Mikey grinned. The enormous turtle walked forward, entirely at his ease. 

“Is anything wrong?” Donny hovered in the window sill. 

“Just come sit down,” April sat next to Raph. 

Mikey waved at Raph, confused. “If this about our brand new human we already know. It’s been a while.”

“Two months, eighteen days,” Raph kicked the ground. 

“Has it really been that long already?” Casey asked, breaking the dumbfounded silence. 

Raph nodded. 

Donny was quiet. “Yeah it really has.”

Looking up quickly Raph tried to meet his brother’s eyes. “You noticed I was gone?”

Mikey dropped in the arm chair across from him. “Of course we did, dude. We miss you.”

“Then why don’t you ever call? I haven’t seen any of you in weeks.”

Leonardo stood firm. “We thought you didn’t want to see us?”

Raph opened and closed his mouth. “What made you think that?”

“The first week you started living here,” Mikey said through a mouthful of pizza.

“You said and I quote ‘I don’t want to see you in this apartment ever again,’” Donny finished. 

Raph flushed red, the color startling on his otherwise stoney face. 

“It was just after you were made human which I still can't figure out. The cure for animal DNA, the mutagen ooze, should not work on someone who was never human in the first place." Donny tapped his leg. “And you shouldn’t have become entirely human. Partially I could understand but this… I’m still struggling to understand it all.”

“So no more info on a cure then?” Raph asked. 

Donny face fell. “Unfortunately no, I, I don’t think it’s possible.”

Raph deflated, trying to find something to say. "Well, well I guess whoever's DNA I ended up with must have had a fun family tree at least,” Raph examined his hands. “I think I’m somewhere between black and hispanic, maybe a little italian?”

Mikey grinned. “It suits you better than some skinny white kid. Could you imagine Raph even shorter than this?” he snorted. 

Raph’s face became pinched, jaw set.

“Stop it Mikey.” Leo perched himself on the arm of the chair. “Raph, we’ll swing by whenever you want.”

“Thanks,” Raph nodded once. 

April, who had sat tense at his side slowly relaxed. “That’s better. Now what we really called you for.”

Mikey paused, hand still in the pizza box. 

“Is everyone okay?” Leo leaned forward. 

April pulled the stick from her pocket. “It’s hard to explain.” She was shaking though she didn’t quite know why.

Casey put a hand around her closed fist. 

Smiling a watery smile she shot Raph a sidelong glance. “What do I say?”

“Leave me out of this,” Raph put his chin in his hand. 

April sighed and offered the tiny pink pregnancy test. The brothers, sans Raph, leaned in.

Donny was the first to recover himself. “April, are you pregnant?”

Mikey swallowed his mouthful, grin bright. “Congrats you guys. That’s awesome!”

“Congratulations,” Leo thumped Casey’s shoulder. 

Raph could feel emotion heating his face, turning his insides. “I think I’m gonna be sick,” he pushed himself up, dashing to the kitchen sink.

“Raph?” his’ brother’s called after him. 

Bent over the sink, Raph took slow deep breaths, forcing his food to stay down.

“Raph?” Leo pushed open the door. “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” he snarled sarcastically. “Go back to the happy couple.” How had April thought this was going to turn out?

“Come on,” Mikey followed his brothers into the kitchen, sitting atop the counter. “Don’t be a grump Raph. It’s a little baby!”

“No, it’s not,” Raph could feel his insides swirling. “It’s a bunch of cells sent here to be a nuisance.

“Well technically,” Donny shrugged. “Depending on how far along she is it could be a zygote.”

Raph did his best to roll his eyes, bile burning up his throat. 

“What’s going you so bitter anyway?” Leo asked. “Why can’t you be happy for them?”

April leaned in. “It’s probably because I… I’m not pregnant.”

“What?” The brothers echoed each other. 

“But I saw the pregnancy test,” Donny argued. “If you aren't then who is?”

His lurching innards finally burst and Raph wretched into the sink. 

“He is.”

“Eww,” Mikey scooted away. 

Raph burned with shame.  


 

* * *

 

It took fifteen minutes before Raph had any confidence to step away from the sink, finally going out to sit in the living room. 

Still he kept his head down, forcing himself to take steady breaths. 

“How?” Donny finally asked. 

“How do you think?” Raph grumbled. 

Donny felt his face turn hot. “But you’re not, I mean you are a  _ male _ human aren’t you?”

“Yes.” Raph snapped. 

April put a hand on his shoulder. “Stop.”

Astonishingly enough he did as he was told. 

“I’m not exactly sure why but I found out after a lot of internet research,” April began. “It looks like he has all the right parts on the inside even if he doesn’t on the outside,” she put as delicately as possible. 

Raph refused to look up, his face aflame. 

“I see,” Donny began. “So what’s… the plan?”

“What do you mean by that Don?” Mikey was polishing off a bax, Casey at his side.

Raph went very still, daring a quick look up. Donny and Leo were leaning forward. He felt his stomach clench, seeing the stern glower written across their faces. 

“We don’t know,” April shifted closer to him. “We wanted-”

“You wanted,” Raph bit back. 

“Fine,” April conceded. “I wanted your opinions before we really discussed any options.”

Mikey chuckled. 

“What’s so funny?” Casey settled in his chair, full to bursting. 

“Raph as a dad,” Mikey reached for the last box. 

Not quite understanding the ache under his ribcage Raph chimed in. “What’s so funny about that?”

“Nothing,” Mikey shrugged, pulling at the top of the box. “You’re just terrible with kids. And just imagining you all big,” he flipped open the pizza box. “Oh, anchovies!”

Raph was on his feet and back down the hall in seconds, losing the rest of his food. 

“Maybe you should come back later,” April watched him go. 

Mikey snatched the last of the pizza, escaping quickly, trying to quell his guilt. 

Leo wasn’t as quick to follow. “April is he okay? He looks,” he paused. 

“Sick?” Donny offered. “Thin? And honestly kinda malnourished?”

April sighed, shoulders sinking. “He hardly ever eats. When he does he throws up. He hardly leaves his room and when he doesn't that he’s sneaking out at all hours of the night.” April hugged her arms tightly “This was the same stuff my cousin was doing. But he was on drugs!” She sunk into her chair. “I just don’t know what to do.”

The brothers exchanged glances. “Casey slid an arm around her shoulders. “I know he’s biologically fifteen but this is insane. He can’t protect himself like he used to. He’s going to get himself hurt.”

Donny tapped his leg quickly. “I think I might be able to install some kind of monitoring system. If he sneaks out at night we can keep an eye on him.”

“Thank you,” April relaxed a fraction.

Donny smile. “We’re worried for him too.”

“Yeah,” Leo’s face fell. “We’re still working on a way to get him back home.” He followed Donny to the window. 

April nodded. “And one more thing before you go? Don’t tell Splinter about the whole, baby thing.”

“What?” Leo stopped. “Why not?”

“That’s one battle he needs to face for himself.”


	2. Chapter Two

Raph beat the well-worn path, walking quickly. His nails dug into the straps of his backpack and his eyes burned with unshed tears. His body knew where he was headed even if his mind couldn’t summon conscious thought, his large coat clinging tight to him. 

Curling his fists he pounded on the sliding metal sheet that made the underground front door. 

In less than ten seconds three hulking figures stood in the doorway, brandishing weapons. 

“Raph?” the figures echoed. 

Raph struggled to keep his composure. “Yeah, it’s me. Can I, can I stay here a while?”

The turtles parted to let the shorter child through. As he stepped into the light it was clearer that he had gotten far thinner. He was nearly emaciated. Bones stuck out in odd places and his hands trembled with every movement. There was a bright pink hand mark across his face, swelling his eye. 

“No offense, but do you need to sit down?” Mikey hovered next to him. 

“Maybe,” Raph hovered next to his old favorite armchair. What had once been a chair only large enough to sit down in now swallowed him up. Raph swung the backpack off his shoulders, hugging it to his chest. 

“What happened?” Leo struggled to hide the sharpness of his voice. 

“It’s hard to explain,” Raph pressed his chin into the top of the bag, wincing as the mark on his cheek was brushed. “I, I guess it started with a fight April and I got into a couple weeks ago?”

“What was it about?”

Leo and Mikey took places either side of him. 

“I’d just passed twenty-four weeks,” Raph tapped his leg. 

“Like the kid did?” Mikey asked. “So?” 

“Twenty four weeks is the legal limit for abortions,” Raph said. “I brought it up with April and she freaked. She wouldn’t let me even swipe any antenatal pills.”

“So you left?” Leo asked, aghast. “How long have you been on your own for-”

“No,” Raph shot him a glare from beneath those wild curls. “I know I’m not a genius but I’m not that stupid.” He crossed his arms tighter. “I accepted it. No way to get rid of it. So I started going out at night, finding places the kid could go once they were born.”

“But,” Donny bit his lip. “I had that-”

“I disabled your security lock,” Raphael glared at him. “I don’t like having a tail.”

“Raph,” Leo tried to reason while Donny shrank with shame. “You can’t defend yourself like before. You’re human for one thing and-”

“Pregnant,” Raph soured. “Trust me. I am perfectly aware of that fact.”

Mikey held up a hand. “So… did you find a place?”

“What?”

“You said you were trying to find a home for the baby. Did you?” Mikey spoke gently, far calmer than his average. 

Raph sunk into his chair. “No. Not really. I mean there are places. But I was making sure they were good ones. I just-” He tried to find the right words.

“You want to make sure they’re being taken care of?” Donny offered.

Raph couldn’t find his voice and nodded. 

Leo cleared his throat. “So you were taking responsibility,” Leo said. “What made April kick you out?”

Raph dropped his head into his hands. “It was just a mistake, a stupid mistake,” he began talking without a pause for breath. “We had fought earlier that day. She caught me sneaking back in that morning. She was furious. I was too tired to deal. I went to bed, brushed her off. When I woke I went to take a bath and she just flipped out.”

“Because you took a bath?” Mikey blinked, confused. 

“Hot baths can severely damage an unborn child in kept in one for too long,” Donny cut in instantly. 

“How was I supposed to know that?” Raph burst. “That and she found this bottle of pills in my bag and-”

“Pills?” Leo stopped him. 

“They’re pre- prenatal pills I think they’re called?” Raph waved the words away. “It’s for the kid. But they weren’t labeled. I got them from a friend, this guy Gunner. So April saw them, assumed the worst and slapped me,” he brushed a light hand across his cheek. “She said if I was planning on killing the kid, even now, then she wouldn’t let me stay. She told me to get out. I got mad, I didn’t try to explain. I just shoved my stuff in my bag and ran.”

The brothers glanced between them.

“Raph… that,” Mikey couldn’t find the words. 

“We’ll go talk to her tomorrow,” Leo promised. “We’ll explain.”

“No,” Raph dropped his bag to the floor. “I can’t go back there. I can’t. April is great but it’s too much drama, too much mess and-”

“Splinter,” Mikey hissed. 

“Yes, I know I need to talk to Splinter,” Raph said. “But-”

“No,” Mikey pointed. “Splinter.” 

Raph whirled around. Before him stood the withered old rat. “Master Splinter. I’m not breaking in. It’s me it’s-”

“My son,” Splinter shield, arms wide. “Welcome home.”

His knees almost buckled in relief. “It’s good to be home.”

Splinter walked forward, settling down in his chair. “I sense a great deal has happened since your transformation to humanity. Sit with me, speak.”

Raph swallowed the lump in his throat, sitting down and beginning again. 

At least a dozen times in his story Raph thought Splinter was going to explode. The first was when he had told his brothers to never come back, the next when he had fist snuck out without protection. 

He actually held his breath when he finally admitted to losing his virginity, and the after-effects of those actions, though avoiding anything to do with the other parent.

Raph never let his master get a word in, telling him how he’d been trying to find a safe place for the child afterward, how he’d been taking the right medicines. 

Finally, he told Splinter what had happened with April. “I didn't know where else to go. Please don’t be mad. I won’t stay for long if you want me to, just until I can find somewhere.” He paused, catching his breath, waiting for the reaction, the final blow. 

Splinter stood carefully, standing before his, now, smallest son. “I will not pretend I am not disappointed in the actions leading to this situation.”

Raph shrunk in his seat, guilt eating at him. 

“However,” Splinter continued, far more gentle. “This will be the first and  _ only _ one of my grandchildren.”

Shocked, Raph looked up at him quickly. 

Splinter smiled warmly. “And you have been incredibly responsible, if reckless in your mission to keep the child safe. I would never force you from your home.”

Raph didn’t understand why his eyes were burning, why the lump in his throat was rising so quickly. “Thank you sensei.”

“Rest my son, you have had a long day,” he turned to the turtle. “Boys. Help him set up his room.”

“I can do it myself,” Raph stood. “Really I don’t need any-” Mikey already had his backpack in hand, “help.”

Splinter nodded and headed back to his room. “If you ever need to talk, my son, my door is always open.”

Raph watched him go, shoulders dropping. 

Mikey grabbed his arm. “Come on! I swear we didn’t touch your room, though it might be a bit dusty.”

The other two followed behind, amused.

Raph let himself be dragged, still sorting through the emotions swirling around him, only half listening to Mikey’s rambling. 

“-how does that sound?”

“Huh?” Raph blinked, bringing himself back to the present. 

“Tony’s Pizza to celebrate?”

“Celebrate what?”

The brother’s exchanged glances. “Your homecoming,” Mikey grinned. “Duh.”

Raph sighed, though he couldn’t stop a smile from creeping up. “Fine. But if you put fish on any of them I promise I will puke specifically on you.”

Mikey laughed. “Yessir,” he saluted, running down to the phone. 

Donny caught his arm. “Raph, if you’re twenty-four weeks shouldn’t the nausea have stopped?”

“I wish,” Raph’s brows were drawn. “It’s not as bad as it was the first couple months but it’s not gone.”

Donny bit his lip. “You’re almost in third trimester. That’s not good.”

“Stop that,” Raph rolled his eyes. “You’re going to make yourself bleed. Besides, how do you know about all this baby crap?”

“I’ve been reading up,” Donny continued to walk with him, “you never told us how far along you were when we saw you so I just read-”

“Everything?” Raph guessed. 

If Donny could have blushed he would’ve. “Yeah.”

Raph snorted. 

“If you’re twenty-four weeks now that means you were… almost, no just over a month when you told us?”

“Don’t sound so betrayed,” Raph said, face falling to a small scowl. “I had no clue until the day you did.”

“Really?” Leo stood in the doorway. 

“Well, turtle turned human puking his guts out every morning no one’s first thought is ‘baby’ is it?”  
  
Donny tried to keep his smirk hidden. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to Feathrlove2 for the wonderful words of support and to those who've given kudos!
> 
> Please leave reviews and tell me what you think. I love replying! :)


	3. Chapter Three

Raph sat on his bed. 

Mikey returned to stand next to Leo, laughing. Even Donny managed a weak smile.

tugging his large sweater off Raph reached a hand for his bag, still on the floor. “I didn’t grab much before I left,” his voice was muffled. “But I think I have a pair of pajamas.”

He bundled the sweater to a ball and lobbed it over his shoulder. “Mike, can you get my bag?” He sat up. “Mikey?” 

Looking up he found all three turtles slack-jawed. 

“What?”

“You’re, you’ve got,” Mikey made a half circle over his gut. 

Raph looked down at his swelling midsection with a sour expression. “You too?” he scoffed at the other. “I’m six months. Besides, it’s August. Did you think I was wearing the coat as a fashion statement?”

“Well, no,” Mikey rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Aw, shut up and go get our pizza,” Raph waved him away good-naturedly.

Mikey did as he was told, scrambling out of the room. 

“You really didn’t expect this?” Raph asked, arms crossed over his middle. 

“We didn’t think we were going to see you,” Leo admitted. 

Raph flushed dark red. “Right.”

Donny patted his shoulder. “I mean, you’ve got to give us some credit right? We’re here to help. Anything you need, we’ve got your back.”

Raph shrunk, somehow the encouragement was only causing his guilt to swell. “Why? I’ve been… the worst.”

“To be fair you had your own stressors.”

“But why help?”

Donny sat next to him. “We’re brothers,” he bumped his shoulder lightly. “Duh.”   
Raph nodded, wiping his face as the tears he’d been holding back finally burst forth. 

Mikey peered in, having not roamed far. “Okay. Group hug!” He tackled his brother. 

Raph laughed, trying to push him off, only to attacked from either side. Arms pinned his tear spilled freely down his cheeks. 

“Get off me,” Raph croaked. 

The others pulled back and he quickly tried to clean his face. 

“Ugh, I don’t know why I’m such a mess.”

“Hormones?” Donny offered. 

Raph smacked in the face with his pillow.

* * *

 

That night, Raph swore, was the best of his life. And that included the night of conception for the child he carried. Just the thought burned his cheeks and he pushed it away quickly. 

Mikey returned downstairs with a stack of still steaming pizzas in his arms. The smell was past intoxication. Cradled in his favorite chair he claimed undisputed control over the remote. Sleepy and happy Raph ate until he thought he might be sick. 

Standing up at who knew what time of night he stretched out stiff joints until they popped. 

“That cannot be good for you,” Mikey stuck out his tongue. 

“Yeah?” Raph yawned. “Who cares?”

“Me,” Mikey picked up empty boxes. “You’re going to screw up your spine. Be a hunch back by eighteen.” He bent over, imitating Igor.

“Quit it,” Raph collected a few plates. 

Mikey tossed the boxes. “You don’t have to do that. I’ve got it.”

“I’m not made of glass,” Raph put the plates down quietly as to not wake the turtles sleeping behinds him. “Besides, Mikey, of all the things to screw up my spine it’s far more likely to be the ten-pound infant hanging off it than a few pops.”

“Ten pounds?” Mikey’s eyes turned to saucers. “Already?”

“Well, no, not yet.” Raph kneaded his knuckles into his underbelly. “But it could end up being that big.”

Mikey whistled, long and low. “That is so cool.”

Caught off guard Raph paused. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Mikey grinned, leaning against the counter. “You’re growing a whole other person all by yourself.” He bounced a little. “Isn’t that a little cool to you?”

“I mean I guess,” Raph said slowly, absently rubbing his stomach. “I’ve never really thought about it like that.”

Mikey stood next to him. “Um… can I, is it okay?” he reached a hand out. 

Hot around the ears Raph fumbled for words. “I’d rather you, um, could you not?”

Mikey didn’t listen, a hand already tracing the rounded mound, crouching down. “Are they moving yet?”

“No,” Raph lied, not looking at him.

“Really?” Mikey asked, awed anyway. “But they’re so b-” he stopped himself.

“Yeah, yeah,” Raph smiled despite himself. “I’m a whale.”

On the other side of the room, Leo and Donny peered over the back of the couch, watching the scene unfold. 

Raph stepped back, blushing hard. “Mikey I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed. Okay?”

“Right,” Mikey stood, a full head taller than him now. “Night,” he paused with a wicked grin. “Little Bro.”

“Don’t you dare,” Raph flushed. “Don’t you dare. I am older than you.”

“By like a minute,” Mikey waved the words away. “And you’re teeny tiny now.”

“Am not,” Raph punched his arm. 

“Ow!” Mikey yelped. “Okay, I give, I give.”

Raph moved back, arms crossed. “Do not call me that.”

“All right,” Mikey conceded. “Night,” he mumbled under his breath. “Little Bro.”

* * *

 

Raph woke up the next morning, or what he assumed was morning, with no idea how long he’d slept. Not sure he wanted to know how long it’d been he shifted. He felt like he’d rested for the first time in months. 

Sliding out of bed he straightened, wincing. 

“Oof,” he dug both palms into his spine. “Relax kid.” 

It wasn’t a kicking exactly, simply the ever pressing weight sending aches throughout him. “You did not get your size from me,” Raph grumbled. “Must get it from your- well, doesn’t matter.” 

That was not something he was going to think about.

Making his way to the kitchen he found lunch in full swing. Mikey was up, pulling out eggs, bacon and a variety of frozen things. 

“Raph!” he turned with a grin. “You missed breakfast, so I thought, breakfast for lunch. You want me to make you something?”

The sight of food making green around the gills Raph shook his head. “Cereal is fine.”

“Really?” Mikey wilted a fraction. “But there’s so much-”

“Mikey,” Leo stopped him, already grabbing his own bowl. “Stop.”

Raph was clinging to the back of a chair, fingers white. What was going on? His usual imbalance was turning to a heavy ache.

“I can get my own bowl, Leo,” Raph recovered his voice. 

Leo backed off, sitting down with his own cereal lunch. 

“How long was I out anyway?” Raph reached up for his bowl.

“By my calculation,” Donny glanced to the clock. “About fourteen hours.”

His bowl clattered to the ground and Raph whirled around. “What? Why didn’t anyone come wake me?”

“You needed it,” Leo said innocently.

“Fourteen hours?” Raph mumbled, examining the clock. It couldn’t have been that long.

He froze in pace, the ache returning. Raph stopped with a low groan. That hurt. 

“Raph?” someone was asking. 

Breathing slow Raph waited for it to pass. Slowly the pain faded. 

“It’s nothing,” Raph bent down, scooping up his dropped bowl. “It was just,” halfway back up he leaned back up against the counter, nails digging into his palm. That  _ hurt _ .

“Raph?” there was a hand on his arm. 

He turned, using the counter as a support, breathing hard. 

“Raph!”

He couldn’t think. The ache rolled over spine, digging into the bone. It was like his body was slowly ripping itself in two. 

Unable to keep his thoughts straight, his mind turned to the worst. Was this labor?

No, no. It couldn’t be, it was too early.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have all been so lovely in this story. Thank you all so so very much!


	4. Chapter Four

“Raph,” Leo’s voice broke through the buzzing in his head. “Raphael. You have to talk to us or we can’t help.”

“April was right,” he couldn’t quell his sob. 

“What?”

“She was right about the hot bath,” he couldn’t get his emotions under control. “I, I killed them.”

“You wanted this?”

“No!” His voice broke, knees giving way. “No. It was a mistake. I don’t want to hurt them. I didn’t want to kill them. And this h-hurts,” the fresh wave of pain knocked his legs from below him. 

Leo caught him, keeping him upright, both hands on his arms. “Raph. Stay with us. We’re taking you down to the med bay. Can you walk?”

Raph shook his head, muscles seizing as a new cramp took hold. 

Leo spoke over his brother’s groan. “Donny, get out all the pain meds we have. He’s going to pass out if we don’t do something quick.”

Donny nodded and shot off down the hall. 

“What can I do?” Mikey stepped forward. 

“Help me get him down the hall,” Leo stood, still supporting his brother. “Raph?”

“Hmm?”

“We’re going to help. But you have to try walking.”

“I can’t,” Raph’s voice broke. All bravado was gone, any semblance of pride had vanished. “I can’t.”

“You can,” Leo tried to put an arm around his waist. “Mikey help me.”

His youngest brother stood frozen.

“Mikey.”

“Leo,” he pointed. “He’s bleeding.”

Dripping down the pajama pants was a thin line of blood, the scarlet turned black against the fabric. 

Swearing aloud he scooped Raph up and ran down the hall. 

“Leo?” Raph clung to him. “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

“Hold still,” Leo slid to a stop outside the med bay. “Donny,” he burst in. “Tell some good news.”

“We actually have a pain killer that should work,” Donny grabbed something from his bench. 

“Use it.”

“If I do it’ll completely numb him. We won’t be able to move him, get him out of the sewers until it wears off.”

Leo looked between his brothers, eyes frozen on the smaller of the two. 

Raph wasn’t getting better. Lost in agony he clutched at nothing, searching for any kind of comfort. 

“He needs it. We’ll figure it out.”

Donny nodded. “Set him down on the stretcher.”

Leo did as he was told, holding to Raph’s arms. 

“This might sting,” Donny stood behind him, a good sized needle in hand. He hardly hesitated, plunging it into his lower spine. 

Raph dug his nails into Leo’s arms, grunting as the needle bit into his skin. He sat frozen for a few moments before dropping his head onto Leo’s shoulder, still trembling badly. 

“Better?” Leo asked, suppressing all his nerves.

Raph nodded once. “I killed them didn’t I?” he asked. His voice was a croak, hardly more than a whisper. 

“We don’t know anything yet,” Leo helped him lie down. 

“Just try and relax,” Donny soothed. Looking up he glanced around. “Where’s Mikey?”

Leo turned. “He was right behind me.”

Wandering out he went back to the kitchen to find Mikey. 

He sat on the linoleum floor, his arms crossed atop his knees.

“Mikey, what are you-?”

“Is Raph going to be okay?” he interrupted. 

“What?”

Mikey wiped his nose with his arm. “Is Raph going to be okay? Did he really just, just lose the kid?”

“I,” Leo grit his teeth. “I don’t know. Donny is finding out now.”

Mikey was less than comforted. “Leo, he was bleeding from inside! That’s really, really-”

“I know it’s bad,” Leo said. “But Raph is strong.”

“And the baby? It’s still just teeny tiny.”

“And it’s Raph’s kid,” Leo pointed out. “And any kid of Raph’s is going to be tough as nails.”

Mikey managed a weak smile. “Leo?” he hesitated a moment before pushing on. “Do you think he wants to keep it?”

“He did keep it,” Leo feigned ignorance. 

“After it’s born.”

_ “Did I kill them?” _ Raph’s voice echoed through Leo’s head. 

“No,” Leo shook his head. “No way.”

“Why not?”

“It’s Raph,” Leo tried to wave away his worries. “He doesn’t even like kids.”

Mikey still wasn’t swayed but followed suit and summoned a smile, if only a weak one. “Right. Of course.”

“Guys?” Donny peered in. “I think I might’ve figured it out.”

“Really?” the other two scrambled to their feet. 

“Raph is a bit calmer. I think I should tell you all together.”

Mikey bit his lip, following his brother quickly back to the small med bay. 

Lying on the same bed he’d been left Raph laid on his back, head turned from the door. 

“Hi,” Mikey began. “How are you feeling?”

“Can’t feel a thing from the chest down,” Raph said numbly. 

“That’s a good thing right?”

Raph shrugged one shoulder. “I guess.”

Mikey shot a glance to his brothers. Before he had the time to think of something else to say Raph was interrupting. 

“So what’s the verdict doc? How badly did I screw up?”

“Well,” Donny began. “If you’re asking if they passed on then, no. The baby is completely healthy, maybe even a bit big for their age.”

Turning back quickly Raph cricked his neck. “You’re kidding.”

Donny shook his head. “I’d never joke about that.”

Leo couldn’t quite brush off Raph’s heartfelt sigh of relief.

“But then,” Mikey began. “Why was he hurt so bad?”

Raph stiffened. 

“That’s… harder to explain,” Donn shifted from foot to foot. “It seems that while the kid is proper size you are not.”

“What?” Raph tried to lift himself up to one elbow. 

“Since you are mostly male your body doesn’t seem to know what it’s doing. I’m sure it’ll figure it out, heal soon. But for now…” Donny searched for the right words. 

“Just say it.”

“Your womb has torn away from the outer edge of your stomach.”

For a full second, Raph looked like he was going to be sick. “Oh,” he finally managed, an arm curling absently over his midsection.  

“You said he’d be fine,” Leo cut in. “How can you be so sure?”

“It’s already begun healing and the bleeding stopped in a matter of minutes.”

“So I’m… fine?” Raph asked.

“Not exactly.”

“Then what?”

“To make sure you’re properly healing and to make sure this doesn't happen again you’re going to need-”

“No,” Raph begged. 

“Near constant bed rest, no strenuous activities and you'll need to keep stress at a minimum.”

Raph covered his face and groaned. “No.”

“It could be worse,” Donny pointed out. 

“Yeah,” Raph sobered up. “I know.”

“And it won’t be so bad,” Mikey bounced up on the balls of his feet. “I’ll make sure you don’t get too bored.”

Raph shrunk further. “You don’t have to.”

“Of course I do!” Mikey charged out of the room, presumably on some kind of mission. 

Raph plead silently with his brothers. “I can handle bedrest. But I can’t handle Mikey poking his nose in my room every time I sneeze.”

“We’ll make sure you get the time alone,” Leo promised. 

“Good,” Raph was propped up on one elbow. “If you don’t he’ll bug me night and day for... Don, how long am I supposed to keep my feet up for anyway?”

“I’d say around a month.”

Raph paused, processing the words. “A month? I thought you said I’d heal fast.”

“It’s just to be safe. And if they haven’t already the kid should start moving around a lot more.”

Raph forced his arms to stay at his sides. “So?”

“More movement means more chance of making the problem worse.” 

“Great,” Raph laid back. “Anything else I should know?”

“Yes,” Donny said. “You might start to feel a strong ache around your hips. They’re starting to shift and make room for the baby. When it gets bad just sit down. If you strain it there’s a chance the bones could start to crack.”

Raph couldn’t stop himself from moving a hand to his side. “Right,” he said, starting to look sick all over again. 

“It’s going to be fine,” Leo patted his arm. “You’re not alone in this.”

“Yeah,” Raph cleared his throat. “Yeah, I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading. I know this isn't one of my popular stories but for those of you reading this thank you so so so much!
> 
> I love replying to all reviews!


	5. Chapter Five

The next few weeks might as well have been torture. 

Raph did not suit the sedentary lifestyle. Several times he was caught roaming the sewers when he thought the others were asleep. 

At least twice Leo caught him sneaking out of the dojo’s training room. However, when confronted Raph swore he was just stretching or doing basic forms. 

No matter the warnings, no matter who caught him or how many times Raph wouldn’t stop. 

One such night Raph peered into each of his brother’s room. Each one was fast asleep. 

Sneaking slowly down the hall he turned to walk into the small training room when a light flipped on behind him. 

Freezing in place Raph turned slowly around. 

“Why are you up so late my son?”

“Master Splinter,” Raph kept his hands clasped behind his back. “Did I wake you?”

“No,” Splinter stepped forward. “And as I have answered your question would you be so kind as to answer mine?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Raph lied. 

“And what is the real answer?” There was malice in his voice, no ill intent. 

“I’ve been resting for days. I’m no good at it,” Raph huffed. “I’m going crazy lying in bed all the time.”

Splinter considered him a moment. “Follow me my son.”

Hesitantly Raph followed Splinter into his room. Golden candles flickered, casting long shadows across ornate rugs. 

Raph could feel himself relaxing as the scent of the incense washed over him. 

“I sense you are frustrated,” Splinter knelt in the center of the room. “Speak with me.”

Raph lowered himself to the rug, forcing himself not to groan as he did. “Talk to you about what exactly?”

“There is clearly something plaguing your thoughts. Speak freely.”

“Where should I start?” Raph looked to his clenched hands. 

“Wherever you feel is best.”

Raph dropped his head into his hands. “Master Splinter. I’m not supposed to be human. It all got so messed up and I was so stupid. I could have actually tried to build a life. But I was so stuck on the one I’d lost that I just screwed it up.”

“You have said yourself that the conception of a child was in the bottom tier of likelihood,” Splinter pointed out. He sensed staring would only make his son more uncomfortable and had closed his eyes to listen. 

“Even if I hadn’t wound up pregnant I would’ve messed it up,” Raph lost his steam.

“Speak your mind, Raphael. I am not here to discipline, only to listen.”

“I was on the streets. I was with a, a not good crowd, drug dealers, bad people.”

The only reaction Splinter had was to furrow his brows, nothing more. 

“I mean it didn’t end up being all bad. One of the guys was able to get me some estrogen free prenatal pills,” Raph mumbled. “But that’s not the point!” he cut across himself, “If I hadn’t gotten pregnant I would have ended up in jail within the year.” Raph was restless. 

“Considering  that you did in fact track down and purchase pills for your unborn child you seem to have come to terms with your condition rather well.”

“I tried to have it removed,” Raph whispered. “I know I couldn’t have exactly walked into a clinic and asked but there were ways.”

“You did tell me about the hot bath incident.”

“I didn’t know that would hurt them,” Raph defended, and there was real pain in his voice. 

“I know my son,” Splinter rested a gnarled hand on the boy’s knee. 

Raph forced himself back to calm. “That was when I started taking the pills for the baby. I’d already been looking for places they could go afterward. And I can’t ever do that anymore. I’ve turned to a pet for my brothers!” His anger welled all over again. “I can’t do anything I used to do! I can’t defend myself, I can’t even walk around a place that used to be my home.” He threw his arms over his head. “And the stupid thing is, besides being hidden away I don’t care. I don’t care that I can’t do anything because it’s for-” he cut himself off with a strangled moan, his insides squeezing.

“Breathe my son,” Splinter was up on his knees in a flash, hands curled around the boy’s arm.

“Ow, ow, ow,” Raph breathed, fear eating away at him. 

“Breathe,” Splinter soothed. “Donatello warned me you may experience these pains were you to grow too excited.”

Raph nodded, slowly rocking himself back and forth. 

“Better?” Splinter asked once his breathing had evened out. 

Fear keeping his embarrassment at bay Raph nodded once more. 

“My son you have told me of the things you do not like, the things you fear and that you do not want. What is it you  _ do _ want?”

“I want?” 

Splinter’s smile was gentle. “I get the feeling no one has asked this of you in a great deal of time.”

“I, I don’t want to be shoved in a corner, left in my room and forgotten about.”

Splinter didn’t dismiss his fears, didn’t tell him they were silly. “What would you like?”

“I want to be a part of my own family again.” Raph wiped his face quickly, not letting the burning in his eyes turn to anything else.

“And how would we accomplish that?”

“I don’t know,” Raph dropped his head to his chest. “I’m supposed to be a good little boy and stay in my best until the kid-”

“Perhaps,” Splinter interrupted gently. “We could set up your sleeping quarters in the living room. The couch would not be as comfortable as your bed but it would be closer to the heart of the home.”

Raph was nodding even before he’d finished his sentence. “Yes. Can we, can I really?” 

“Of course,” Splinter said firmly. “Is there anything else you would like?”

Raph shifted his hand from his middle. “No.”

“Are you sure? Anything you ask of me here I will strive to give you.”

“I can’t,” Raph mumbled. “I can’t.”

“If you want to keep the life growing within you it is perfectly understandable.”

“No!” Raph pushed himself back. “I can’t. Everyone knows I’d be terrible and I just can’t.” He crossed his arms tightly, trying to protect himself from his own words.

“Who has said these things?”

“Does it matter?”

“It does to me.”

Raph took a shuddering breath. “Gunner and Ken, the guys I was with when I first asked about the pills for an imaginary girlfriend. Mikey, Donny, April. I know Leo is thinking it.”

“I am not thinking anything of the sort,” Splinter spoke calmly. 

“Really?”

“Do you believe I was a natural parent from my first time encountering you four boys?” Splinter asked. He patted the ground next to him.

Raph took the offered spot. “Weren’t you?”

“Of course not,” he chuckled softly. “My first thought was to save the small creatures, not raise them. I was going to leave you once I’d gotten you from the ooze.”

“Really?”

Splinter nodded once. “But the longer I stayed with you the more I loved you four boys,” Splinter’s smile was warm and he set a hand on his knee. “I did not carry you nor do I have any biological claim to you. But no power could ever stop me from loving my sons.”

Raph swallowed. “But you were always so good with us. You knew what you were doing.”

“I never knew what I was,” he laughed. “Every moment was an adventure, a new experience.”

Raph curled an arm around his stomach. 

“While yours is unexpected I know it is what you want. I can see it in your every gesture.”

The burning had returned to his eyes. “I can’t.”

“But it is what you want?”

Raph bent over, finally whispering the words he promised he would never say. “Yes. I want them.”

“Then you must prove it,” Splinter said. “Not to me, not to your brothers or the young men whom you spent time with.”

“Then who-”

“Yourself.” Splinter said. “Care for yourself. Care for your child, prepare for them, for a living child. Can you do that?”

“I can try-”

“Can you do this?”

Raphael tried to find his voice before he nodded. “Yes.”

Splinter’s smile grew. “Good. Congratulations my son. You are a parent.”

The realization hit him like a brick and the tears he’d struggled to hold burst forth, turning to those of joy. 

“O-Oh,” Raph covered his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for reading, seriously, you guys just rock. 
> 
> I love to reply to comments, whether they be questions concerns or requests!


	6. Chapter Six

“Guys!” Mikey threw open Leo’s bedroom door. “Leo get up!”

“What?”

His little brother was already off down the hall.

“Donny!”

Leo yawned, pulling his pillow over his head. After a few deep breaths, he pushed himself up, off to find out what Mikey was up to.

Mikey had thrown open Donny’s door. 

“Donny get up!”

He pulled his blanket off, tossing it away.

Searching blindly for the warmth again Donny sat. “Mikey, what are you on about?”

Leo stopped in the doorway, yawning hugely. “Yeah. Where’s the fire?”

“Raph is gone!” Mikey yelped.

“What?”

Leo and Donny were suddenly wide awake. 

“I went to go check on him and his bed was empty. It was my night to keep an eye on him and I fell asleep. I’m so sorry.”

Donny lept from his bed, his staff strapped to his back. “You don’t have to apologize Mikey. We have to find him. Where have you checked?”

“Just the bathrooms,” Mikey was twisting his fingers. “Then I came to find you guys. I didn’t know what to do!”

“Mikey,” Leo put a hand on his shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. We’re going to find him. But you need to calm down.”

Mikey nodded. 

“I’ll check the training room,” Leo took charge. “Donny, go check in with Splinter.” The three of them walked to the living room While Leo thought quickly. “Mikey check the gaming room. If he’s not there, then-”

A figure on the couch rustled. 

“What’s going on?” Raph slurred, sitting up slowly. Rubbing his eyes he pulled himself up, his oversized shirt hanging off freckled shoulders. The concave back of the couch had hidden him flawlessly, the large blanket usually crumpled at the end leaving him looking like a pile of pillows, albeit a pile of pillows with an alarming amount of curled cowlicks.

“Raph!” Mikey darted forward, throwing his arms around his brother’s neck. “We thought you ran away!”

“Ran away?” Raph yawned, trying to wave him off. “Why?”

“You weren’t in your bed,” Mikey began weakly. 

“Splinter thought it might help if I camped out on the couch for a while.”

“Really?” Leo raised an eyebrow, in a manner of speaking. 

Raph pushed himself to a sitting position. “Yeah, something about me being less likely to wander if I’m more in the center of the home.”

Leo nodded. “I guess that makes sense.”

“And there’s something else,” Raph took a deep breath. “I wanted to apologize.”

Mikey and Donny exchanged glances.

“I’ve been an ass ever since I turned human and I can’t blame it entirely on hormones,” Raph dug his knuckles into his sides absently. “And I really am going to try and be better. No more nightly wandering.”

He examined his brother’s skeptic faces. “I know how heartless those promises sound so I got-” he gestured to the kitchen table where a bunch of Chinese takeout sat waiting.

“I thought you said no more nightly wandering!” Donny rounded on him 

Raph held up his hands. “I just ordered it. Splinter got it.”

“Try the orange chicken,” Splinter stood from behind the tower of food. 

Mikey dove in for breakfast without question. Donny followed with only a few glances back. 

Staying behind Leo leaned against the couch, unconvinced. “What really caused this change of heart?” he asked, not really looking at Raph. 

“Told you,” Raph glanced at his brother. “I talked to Splinter.”

Leo slid to the cushion next to him. “Nothing else?”

“What answer do you want from me, Leo?” Raph kept his arms firmly at his side. He had to prove it to himself first. Then he’d tell the others. 

Shrugging Leo stood and headed for the table. "Thanks for breakfast in any case.”

“Leo?” Raph called.

Turning Leo felt his insides clench, ready to hear the answer he so feared. “Yes?”

“Can you help me up?” Raph held up a hand, flushed red. “This couch is a trap.”

Leo grinned and helped him to his feet. 

Watching the scene unfold Mikey hissed to Donny. “My bet, Raph breaks this whole good boy thing by tomorrow.”

“Three days,” Donny whispered.

Splinter chuckled. “Fourteen.”

As Raph went to wash his hands Leo sat. “Betting how long he’ll last already?”

The two brothers looked down in an instant, embarrassed. 

“My bet is a week.”

 

* * *

 

They were all wrong. While his short temper ever shorter Raph never fully snapped and other than necessity he stayed on the couch or in his chair. 

Donny did come close as on the third day Raph stood, looking like he was going to scream. Making a beeline for Donny everyone held their collective breaths. 

“Donny?”

“Y-Yeah?” he squeaked. 

“You still got any of those baby books lying around?”

“Which one do you want?” Donny’s shoulders dropped a fraction. 

“All of them,” Raphael didn’t hesitate. “And Mikey?”

It was his turn to flinch. “Yeah?”

“Any chance I could borrow your old iPod?”

Mikey was up in a second. “You may have to adjust the strap for the headphones but they still work just fine,” he chirped quickly. 

Raph nodded, expression still entirely unreadable, trapped somewhere between annoyance and fury. 

He grunted his thanks as his items were delivered, settling back onto the couch. 

The remaining three brothers exchanged glances but said nothing. 

Leo’s guess of his patience at a week came and went. Even Splinter’s generous guess of two weeks didn’t come to fruition. 

Headphones in Raph laid on the couch, holding a book above his head, tongue between his teeth. The book was a pink paperback with a pacifier on the cover. With a well-worn spine and many dog eared pages, Raph had clearly been pouring over it. 

Across from him, Donny sat in his own chair pouring over a manual marked 'engines of the Indy 500.' He glanced up at Raph every so often with a soft an amused smile. 

Walking into the room Mikey held a half-full bag of chips. 

"If you turn on that Xbox I will kick you all the way to Jersey," Raph glared at him over the top of his book, deep green eyes boring into him.

Mikey opened and closed his mouth for several moments. "Raph you have headphones in."

"Your point?"

"I'll turn off the volume."

"You yell," he looked back at his book. Still, his temper was under his control.

With a long sigh, Mikey walked back out.

Donny met his eyes and mouthed a  _ thank you. _

Shrugging one shoulder he readjusted his headphones. "Why? You know I couldn't actually do anything to him."

"Yeah, but he listens to you." Donny marked his page. 

"Don't know why. I'm about as intimidating as a kitten like this," Raph settled himself back down, his hair fanning out on the arm of the chair. 

"Like what?" Donny leaned back in his seat. "Pregnant, or at your grand height of five foot two?"

"Hey!" Raph tossed the pillow next to him which he only narrowly avoided. "I'm five eight."

"And we’re seven feet. You're practically a toddler."

Raph opened his mouth, shrinking in his chair, face burning red under his dark freckles. "When I can stand up again I'm going to kill you."

"I'd like to see you try," Donny rolled his eyes. 

Raph flipped him off, his new favorite trick with all five fingers at his disposal. "I can still do all the things I used to. And ninja stars are the next thing on my wish list."

Donny actually paused, looking a bit sick. 

Suppressing snickers Raph moved to sit up, pressing a hand into his side. 

"Raph?"

"M fine," he tried to wave him off. "Jus' s little cramp."

Scrambling to his feet Donny dropped his book. "I'll get you a water."

"I'm fine. Just lay off with the teasing!" He called after Donny as he went to the kitchen.

The statement fell on deaf ears, Donny pulling out a cup. Before he could get back to the small sitting room however the phone rang.

As only three places had their number, two of which were pizza places, he picked up the phone with trepidation. 

"Hey April," he spoke softly, making sure Raph had his headphones on. 

"Donny?" Her voice was strained. "I've been meaning to call for a week. I thought, I mean we had a, I'm sorry."

"April, slow down. Start at the beginning."

Behind him Mikey paused, his crinkling chips giving him away.

Donny gestured him over silently, pressing a finger to his lips.

Fumbling a moment April finally spoke. "Raph and I fought a while ago. I found him trying to hurt the baby. I freaked out at him so he ran away. I’ve been waiting for him to come back, call or anything. He hasn't come back. I don't know what to do. I'm so sorry. Has he contacted you?"

Mikey and Donny exchanged glances.

"April..." Donny paused. "He's here."

"He's okay?" She cried, obviously relieved. "Can I talk to him? How's the kid?"

"The kid is fine," Mikey, usually jovial had a severe frown. 

April paused. "Mikey. Are you sure?"

Both brothers stood firm, their dislike palpable. Misunderstanding maybe but to demand their brother get out of her house and then lie to them? That was too much. 

"No, you can't talk to him. He's still mad at you," Donny kept his tone flat. "And honestly. We are too. Raph didn't do anything wrong. It was an accident. He's been taking very good care of himself for your information."

"Donny, I don't know what he said-"

"Raph has some faults," Mikey spat. "But he's never ever lied. Ever. He says you kicked him out after he made one mistake. That's not okay."

"Mikey."

"We'll talk later April. For now, just know we're keeping an eye on him."

Donny hung up the phone, hands shaking with fury. 

Hands clenched around the now baseball sized crunched bag Mikey swallowed his anger. "Raph doesn't lie." He repeated. 

"I know," Donny gaped, struggling to keep his anger under wraps. 

"What, what do we tell Raph?" Mikey asked, suddenly worried.

"We don't." Donny shook his head. "We don't tell Leo either."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." 

Mikey bit his lip. "For how long?"

"Until she can tell the truth." 

"Okay."

Donny took a deep breath. "Not a word. Promise?"

"Cross my heart!"

Donny picked up the cup again and walked back to the living room. "How do you feel?"

"Hmm?" Raph lifted one earphone. 

Repeating his question he set the cup onto the table.

Raph rolled his eyes. "I'm fine. I told you. Little aches. It happens."

"I'm leaving that there anyway," Donny took his seat again, hands still shaking.

"Are  _ you _ okay?" Raph eyed him. 

"Yeah, of course." 

"Whatever," Raph turned back to his book.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for being so absolutely incredible! 
> 
> I will be going away for pretty much the rest of the summer so there won't be many updates, but I will still be able to reply to any and all comments. Please feel free to send me things and I will see you all again soon!


	7. Chapter Seven

As the month marker passed for Raph’s resting period it wasn’t verbally acknowledged. 

Donny stayed in the room with him, watching his every move. The only thing out of the ordinary that he noticed was his brother’s shifted position. When Raph wasn’t thinking his hand would stray to his swollen stomach, brushing his thumb along the stretched skin. 

Donny went to him the next morning and with a deep breath shook his shoulder. 

“Raph?”

“Hmm?”

He shifted, blinking the sleep from his eyes. “What is it? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just fine,” Donny said. “You ready for that checkup?”

Raph was upright in second. “Trust me, I have never been more ready.”

Helping him up they headed down the med bay. 

Raph sat down on the stretcher, managing to get himself up onto it with a grunt.

“Before I give you any tests have you noticed anything?” Donny began to grab a few supplies. He eyed his brother carefully. “And don’t lie. I’ll find out eventually.”

“Well,” Raph said slowly. “I’m not exactly human anymore.”

“What?” Donny almost choked. 

“Yeah,” Raph grumbled. “I’ve turned into a whale.”

Donny's shoulders dropped as he laughed. “Your growth has been mildly impressive.”

“You’re not supposed to agree,” Raph aimed a false blow at his brother. 

“Merely from a technical standpoint,” Donny sidestepped him. “That’s a good thing remember? It means you’re healing.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Raph leaned back on the bed. 

“Anything else?”

Raph considered his words carefully. “I’ve been aching more now. I notice it more when I’m walking.”

Donny examined him a moment. “I did say that would happen.”

Nodding Raph shifted. “I know you did but it happens when I’m sitting too. It’s just worse when I walk.”

“Humor me a minute,” Donny bent over to grab something. 

“What are you- hey!” Raph jumped as his brother wrapped a tape measure around him, the edge slipping under his belly. “Donny, what are you doing?”

“Your hips have widened by about three inches,” Donny pulled the tape measure back. 

“Three inches?” Raph paused. 

“It seems as your child grows your body is becoming more… feminine.”

Raph covered his ears. “I got it.”

Donny shot him a grin. “Okay. I’ll stop. So, this aching, is it anywhere else?”

“Not really,” Raph rubbed his stomach absently. “This guy Ken got me some lotion thing along with the pills. It’s been helping as I-” he flushed, “grow. But I’m running low.”

Donny made a note on his notepad. “I’ll see if I can find something, or I could have April-”

“Does she even know I’m here?” Raph asked. 

“I don’t think so,” Donny turned, quiet, grabbing a small machine. “She hasn’t tried to talk with us for a while.”

“She probably thinks I’m dead,” Raph laid back as his brother gestured him to. 

“I doubt that,” Donny flipped a switch on the small metal box. Plugging it into his tv. “Besides she has to go away for work a lot and-”

“What is that anyway?” Raph gestured to the contraption he was putting together. 

Donny blinked at him. “It’s an ultrasound.”

Raph was up on his elbows. “You mean like one of those machines you can see babies on?”

“That is what they’re called,” Donny offered him a small tube of clear liquid. “Take off your shirt. Put that on your stomach. I’ve got to tweak this really quick.”

Caught entirely off guard Raph did as he was told, lifting the hem of his shirt up to his chest. Flipping open the little bottle he squeezed a clear gel across his lower belly, pushing down his waistband until it was only just resting on his hips. 

"Okay, here we go," Donny said, tongue between his teeth. Quickly he flipped dials, plugging it in. The tiny box began to beep loudly. Within a second it had turned to a mechanical shriek. 

“What in the-?” Raph covered his ears. “Donny turn it off!”

“Sorry!” Donny hit it until the screaming stopped and the tiny tv screen flickered to life. “There.”

Raph, rubbed at his ears, eyeing the flimsy tv stand set up and the still blank screen. “Is it supposed to do something?”

“Just wait for it,” Donny pressed the tiny wand into the icy cold gel.

“That’s freezing,” Raph shifted. 

“I know. Just hold-”

The door swung open at the far end of the room and a sleepy-eyed pair stepped in. 

“Donny,” Mikey whined. “Stop making noise.”

"We had an agreement, nothing before seven am and,” Leo stopped a moment, taking in the situation. 

“Why’s Raph all greased up?” Mikey wandered over, still hardly conscious, poking a finger into the goo. Raph smacked his hand back.  

“I got the ultrasound to work,” Donny said proudly, gesturing to his work. The tv was cracked, the rolling table it on a tv tray duct-taped to a squeaky skateboard. Still, it beeped steadily. 

“What’s that?”

“It lets you see the baby Mike,” Leo leaned in the doorway, far more awake. 

Mikey smiled brightly. “Have you seen anything yet?” he bounced a little. 

“I was about to ask if Raph had felt any kicking,” Donny said pointedly. “Have you?”

“Not really,” Raph shrugged one shoulder, trying to ignore how hot his face and ears had become. “I read it feels like butterflies?” he mumbled. “I don’t know what that means.”

“I think it means light movements,” Donny guessed. 

“Kind of?”

Donny pressed the wand into his skin again. “Anywhere specific?”

“No.”

Donny sighed, continuing to run the wand along his middle. He paused, just under the belly button, his eyes on the screen. “Raph. Take a look at this.”

Glancing up Raphael saw the grainy image of what looked to be a half-moon. 

Donny traced a finger along the curve. “There’s the back, and this swell here is the head and-”

“Really?” Mikey blocked the view of the screen. “Can you see if its a boy or a girl?”

Raph tuned him out, trying to catch his breath. He felt extremely light-headed all of a sudden. Where had all the air gone?

“Raph?” Donny called from a distance. “Raph?”

“Hmm?” he blinked quickly, finding his way back to reality. 

“Look.” Donny pushed Mikey from the screen. The tiny creature on-screen was twitching, the half-moon straighter, the bulbous thing at the top- the head he assumed- turning. Thin white lines around the body twitched, pushing out. “Don’t you feel that?”

Raph took stock of himself, under his ribcage he could feel the very faint wriggling. Had he not known the real cause he would have thought it was his stomach growling. 

“That’s- that’s the kid?” his voice caught before he had the chance to clear his throat. “But, I’ve been feeling that for weeks.”

Donny ran the wand back and forth across his skin. “Come on,” he muttered. “Turn around.”

The image spasmed and Raph yelped. 

“Are you okay?” Donny asked quickly, dropping the small tool. 

Raph rubbed his side, shocked. “They kicked, like really kicked.”

“Must not like me poking,” Danny offered a paper towel to wash off the slime. 

“No kidding,” Raph sat up slowly. 

“Because of how they were turned I couldn’t really see a gender.”

“I don’t care about that,” Raph stayed quiet. “I just want to know if they’re okay.”

Donny pulled up a chair. “They’re completely fine, healthy in every way so far as I can tell.”

Relaxing slowly Raph wiped off the last of the goo. “And am I?”

“Yes,” Donny said slowly. “Technically the tearing has healed but-” he sped up. “That doesn't mean that you’re free to just run around wherever you want. While you don’t have to stay in bed constantly I still don’t know one hundred percent the changes you’re going through. Just try and keep it cool okay? You’re only ten weeks from your due date.”

Raph swung his legs from the table. “I’m not going to seek trouble out. Is that what you want to hear?”

“That’s all I ask,” Donny relaxed. 

“Great.”

“One more thing,” Donny caught his arm.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been doing some calculations for your approximate due date. And I think I’ve finally figured it out.”

Leo and Mikey hesitated in the doorway. “Really?”

“Looks like you’re due for a Christmas baby.”

“Oh, lovely,” Raph headed for the door, unable to stop the faintest traces of a smile. “That’ll make the greatest holiday dinner discussion.”

Donny snorted, going to pick up the wand. 

Raph shook his head, turning to leave the room. He was halfway back to his bedroom when Leo, who had stayed usually quiet, caught up to him. “Raph hold up!”

“What do you want?” Raph struggled to keep his voice light, confused by the knot in his chest. 

“Just to talk.”

Raph eyed him, continuing to make his way down the hall, brother at his side. “What about?”

“As neither of us are any good at small talk I’ll get right to the point.”

“Please.”

“Raphael, do you want this baby?”

There was a long pause.

“What makes you ask that?” Raph stopped dead, unable to hide the flash of emotion across his face. 

“I saw the way you reacted when you saw that ultrasound.” Leo stopped as well, just in front of his brother. “Now answer the question.”

“And what if I do?” Raph defended. 

“I can think of about a million reasons.” Leo hadn’t meant it to sound so offensive. He couldn’t help it. “Raph, we can’t have a human baby in the sewers for one.”

“Then I’ll find a place above ground.”

“And raise it alone?”

“Why would that be so awful?” Raph clenched his hands 

This was a nightmare. Leo was about to say everything he’d been terrified he’d been thinking. Why, why now?

“Why?” Raph demanded. “Lots of kids have only one parent.”

“You’re a teenager.”

“I’ve been through more than most grown adults.”

“Experience doesn't change physical age,” Leo strove to stay calm, though he was failing. “And even if you were an adult you don’t have the temperament.”

“Shut up,” Raph throat felt closed off. His eyes were burning. “Don’t you think I know that? Why do you think I’ve been trying so hard to keep my head, to read every single one of Donny’s baby books. I’m doing everything I can to prove to _myself_ that  I can do this. I don’t need you telling me I’m going to fail.”

It took all his willpower to keep his tears from falling. 

“Trust me, Leo. I’m aware I’m going to be an awful parent. But I’m  _ trying _ .”

“Raph I didn’t-”

“Shut up,” Raph pushed past him. “I’ve got some stuff to think about.” Vanishing into his room he slammed the door behind himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have returned! Hello, hello, please enjoy this new chapter of my labor of love. I am working on a rough number for the chapters. It looks like it will be a little over 30 right now. 
> 
> I really, really, really, hope you guys like this story because I have been adoring writing it. 
> 
> I try to reply to comments within the day and chapters will be coming once a week!


	8. Chapter Eight

You could hear the thunder even in the darkest depths of the sewers. The rush of water outside sounded like a river.

“Whoa,” Mikey laid on the floor, listening to the room shake.

Leo glanced up at the ceiling. “Donny do we have all our leak preventions in place?”

“I think so,” Donny didn’t move from his collapsed position on the couch.

“You think or you know?”

Donny sighed. “If you’re so concerned, go check,” he winced.

Leo shared his sentiment. 

After Splinter had proclaimed they had become soft with the last several months disaster-free, the brothers had been trained nonstop for nearly sixteen hours. Splinter must have had some kind of point as each one of them could now hardly move. 

“I’ll risk it,” Leo sunk back into his chair. 

“Has anyone seen Raph?” Mikey lifted himself onto his elbows. Raph hadn’t spoken to anyone since the beginning of the week. The first night after the checkup his blankets and books vanished from the living room. He slunk in and out of his room, only coming out to eat or go to the bathroom.

Donny raised his head up. “Now you mention it, no.”

“Is Raph okay? Is he mad about the baby? Or what you said about the resting?”

“I don’t know,” Donny bit his lip. “He won’t talk to me.”

“It’s not you,” Leo said. “We got into an argument.”

“What about?”

“Doesn’t matter. Just that we did,” Leo rubbed the back of his green head. 

“Must have been some argument,” Donny said. 

“He’s not gonna hurt the kid if he’s mad like this is he?”

“Like on purpose?” Donny asked, eyes wide. 

Mikey shook his head quickly. “No, No not like that. I know he wouldn’t do that.” He looked a little sick. “I mean like in a 'bad vibes' kind of way. If he’s all mad like this will it be bad?”

Donny relaxed, shaking his head. “No, bad moods don’t hurt babies. If they did humans would’ve died out a long time ago.”

Even Leo cracked a smile.

“But really,” Mikey tried to lift his head, dropping it with a grunt. “When was the last time anyone actually saw him?”

“I haven’t seen him since… I think it was lunch day before yesterday?”

“No,” Leo said. “It had to have been breakfast.”

“Maybe he’s sleeping?” Mikey offered hopefully.

“For three days?”

Leo pushed himself up. “I’m going to go see if I can find him.”

Just as he managed to get himself to his feet the front door opened. 

Standing in the doorway, soaking wet and shivering was Raphael.

“Raph!”

All three brothers were up on their feet in seconds, soreness forgotten.

“Where did you go?” Donny snatched up the nearest blanket. 

“Running some errands,” Raph tried to shrug off the help, shivering too hard to manage it. 

“Where?” Mikey asked. “The Amazon rainforest?”

Raph opened his mouth to snarl a retort, stopping as a cough nearly toppled him over. 

Leo swore, sweeping the mess off his chair. “Sit. Donny, go make tea and find some cold medicine he can take.”

Donny nodded and shot off to the kitchen. 

“I’m fine,” Raph protested, going to sit down anyway.

“Mikey,” Leo turned. “Go get towels.”

He saluted and ran down the hall.

“Leo, I’m fine,” Raph protested. “It’s just rain.”

“Rain that obviously made you sick.”

Raph tried to think up an argument, laying his head on the arm of the couch. “M’ not sick.”

Leo snorted. 

“You’re sick and if you don’t tell me why you were out in the rain maybe you’ll tell Splinter."

Raph struggled to sit up. “Don’t tell Splinter,” he coughed hard, lowering himself back down with a soft groan. “Don’t. He’ll kill me if he finds out.”

“Then tell me,” Leo insisted. 

“I was trying to find a place okay?” Raph burst, laying back against the couch and digging his palms into his eyes. “I was trying to find a house above ground to raise the kid. It took longer than I thought it would,” he hesitated, hiding his lie quickly. “But I didn’t want to come back without good news.”

“Did you actually…?”

“What?” Raph opened one eye.

“Did you find a place?”

“Yeah. This batch of summer houses out in the boonies. They need a new caretaker/gardener person. Homeowners don’t want the places falling to bits,” Raph slurred. “Pay me through the nose to do it too.”

Leo gaped at him. This skinny little pregnant teenager had managed to somehow… “How?”

“Told them I was older, got myself an ID.” Raph’s breathing was unsteady, his shivering getting worse. He pulled a brand new New York state ID from his pocket. The birthday made him just over eighteen. 

“Raphael Himura?” Leo raised an eyebrow. “Where’d you come up with that one?”

“S’ the name of a friend.”

“How’d they let an eighteen-year-old get a job like that anyway?” He handed it back

“It helped when I told them I had a kid on the way,” he stopped Leo before he could start. “My ‘fiance’ has a kid on the way.”

“You actually found a place,” Leo muttered. 

“Who found a what?” Donny walked back in.

“Nothing,” Leo covered quickly. 

“Then what-?”

It was Raph who interrupted. Turning over on the couch he began to cough, his whole body shaking. 

“Raph?” Leo dropped to his knees next to his brother. 

“I can’t breathe,” Raph rasped. “Can I have some water?”

Leo grabbed a bottle, even opening it for him. 

Raph pushed himself onto one elbow, drinking the entire bottle. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Leo asked Donny.

“If he really has been outside this whole time-”

“He has.”

“Then he’s probably just got a cold. His human body doesn’t have a strong immune system.”

Leo mumbled a string of swear words. “Can he even have any of the cold medicines?”

“I’m not saying there aren’t any out there,” Donny spoke slowly. 

“But we don’t have any do we?” Leo’s face fell.

Donny shook his head. 

Raph set the empty bottle down. “Guys. Really. I’m fine.”

“You will be,” Leo said firmly, offering a hand. “Warm shower and then bed.”

“Leo, you’re not my mom,” Raph brushed him off. 

“Raph,” Leo thought quickly. “Fine,” he sighed, hoping his brother’s illness would mask his poor acting skills. “Get your baby sick then.”

“What?” Raph froze.

“If you’re sick then the kid is sick,” he lied.

“That’s not exactly…” Donny began. 

Leo gestured emphatically, making sure Raph’s eyes were closed. Staying silent Leo tried to send a message with his eyes. “Well, it can’t be good for him to sit here sopping wet is it, right?”

Donny nodded, catching on. “Right. It isn’t good at all.”

“I’m not stupid,” Raph stood, shivering. “I know what you’re doing. But fine, whatever. I’ll take a shower. I’ll drink the damn tea.”

“Thank you,” Leo relaxed. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Raph walked down the hall, snatching the towel from Mikey as he returned with a good-sized stack of them. 

“This enough?” the youngest brother set them down. 

Leo and Donny sat, stifling snickers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello once more! I am so happy to hear all of your feedback, It has been so amazing. I really do just adore this story and I am so glad you like it too. 
> 
> I try to respond to all comments within a few hours so please, please, don't hesitate to leave one, even if its just a short one, or your favorite line. It helps me out so much!


	9. Chapter Nine

Raph returned nearly a quarter of an hour later, cleaned and dried, wearing his warmest set of clothes. 

“Better?” Leo asked.

“Shut it,” Raph settled down in his chair, pushing uneven brown hair from his eyes, retying his red bandana around his head. His fingers fumbled with the well-worn fabric.

“So I told them… why you went out,” Leo began slowly. 

“What?” Raph snapped to attention. “Why?”

“They asked,” Leo defended. “What did you want me to do? Lie?”

Raph mumbled under his breath. 

“Raph!” Mikey slapped a hand across his own chest. “You’d lie to us?”

“And what do you think we’d do when you moved out?” Donny asked. “Do you think we forget you existed?”

“Well, no, but it’s not until spring,” Raph mumbled. 

“So?” Mikey asked. “And why do you have to go anyway? We don’t mind you living here.”

“I’m human,” Raph tried to find the right words. “And so is-”

“So what if you’re human?” Mikey demanded, interrupting him. “You can’t hide away out there all alone forever.”

“But I,” he glanced at Leo. “Didn’t you...?”

Leo shook his head once.

So he hadn’t told the other two about how he wanted to keep the baby. 

Raphael took a deep breath. He’d done his resting, done his reading, and now he’d found a way to support himself and them too. 

“The thing is… I won’t be alone,” he rested a hand atop his stomach, eyes flicking to each of his brothers for a split second. “Because, because, I’m keeping the baby.”

Mikey lit up like a Christmas tree. “Really?”

Raph nodded, shifting from foot to foot. “And now I’ll have a house and a job and, and I’ll have everything we- everything they will need.” 

Jumping up Mikey flung his arm around his brother’s neck. “Raph, that’s awesome!”

“But, but you said I’d be terrible,” Raph made sure his throat wasn’t choked. 

“I did?” Mikey asked in horror. “I take it back. I take it all back. You’re going to be the best dad in the whole world!”

Raph swallowed hard, suppressing the rise of emotion in his chest. “Thanks, Mike,” he glanced to Donny. 

Smiling brightly Donatello gave him two thumbs up. “I agree with Mikey. This is going to be the luckiest kid ever.”

“Th-thanks,” he glanced at Leo.

He sunk in his seat chin in his had. “What was the point of me keeping the secret then?” he demanded, though he couldn’t really suppress his grin. 

“I wanted to double-check the grounds but I’m pretty sure there’s a direct sewer line. And you could come visit and see the kid and-” Raph covered his mouth, coughing ever harder. His shoulders shook, bending him forward. 

“Raph?”

Mikey, closest to him, took his arm. “Raph are you okay?”

“Yeah,” he rubbed his chest. “Got something caught in my throat.”

Donny moved to his side. “How long were you out in that storm?”

“A few hours.”

“Overnight?”

Raph nodded miserably. 

“Raph!”

“I didn’t have anywhere to go.”

“How about home?” Leo asked. “You could have back here.”

“I-” Raph’s shoulders shook with another cough. “Ow,” he winced. 

“I’m getting the tea now,” Leo stood. 

Raph didn’t protest. 

“When did you last eat?”

“I had a convenience store hoagie this morning,” Raph rubbed his head. 

“That’s it?” Donny pressed a hand to his cheek. 

“Hey,” Raph brushed his hand off, “quit that.”

“You’re burning up,” Donny bit his lip. “Mikey go get blankets you can find.”

“I don’t need blankets,” Raph protested “It’s too warm in here.”

“You’re sick. Lie down.”

Raph tried to clear his head. It felt like it was full of cotton. “Wha’s wrong?”

“Lie down.”

Moving to follow orders Raph began to cough again, hunching over as he did so.

Swearing under his breath Donny clung to his brother until he could breathe normally. 

“What’s wrong with me?” Raph gasping for air. 

“Staying out in the rain did a number on your health,” Donny worried. “You need rest and warm foods and blankets.”

“I can’t be sick,” Raph tried fruitlessly to straighten up. “I’m f-”

“If you say you’re fine again I will chain you to this couch,” Donny said instantly. 

Raph snapped his mouth shut. Arm over his eyes he forced himself to keep his breathing slow and steady. He felt it only numbly as a heavy comforter was placed over him. 

“S’ too hot,” Raph didn’t try to push it off.

“You’ve got a fever,” Donny sat next to him. “You need to sweat it out until we can get you proper medicine.”

“This might be a good start,” Leo walked into the room, pushing a small warm cup into Raph’s hand. 

“Thanks,” he mumbled, sipping the warm liquid. 

Raph slid slowly down the back of the couch until he was horizontal, sucking down the dregs of the tea. His eyelids were suddenly so heavy he could hardly keep them open. 

“Get some rest,” Leo took the empty cup before it could fall to the floor. 

“No,” Raph tried to pull his eyes open. “I have to know first,” his words were slurred. As he struggled to find the energy to ask his question His lungs to seized. Bending in half Raph began to cough harder. 

A hand on his back he leaned into the steady strength of the other body. 

“Ow,” Raph rubbed his chest. 

The hands pushed him back onto the couch. 

“Wait,” Raph wasn’t sure is his lips were forming the words or if only silently begging. “Is the baby okay?”

Even if the answer had come he didn’t hear it. 

 

* * *

 

Raph woke what felt like several weeks later, but upon a bleary glance to the clock could only have been a couple of hours. 

Still bone-tired he didn’t try and move. 

Something cold and damp brushed across his forehead. 

“Who’s there?” Raph called, his throat torn up. 

“Rest my son,” Splinter soothed, brushing dark hair from his discolored cheeks. “You are very ill.”

“Where’s Donny?” he tried to sit up, not even getting an inch from his pillows before dropping back. 

“He has resumed a project of his,” Splinter laid a shriveled hand on his chest. “Return to sleep.”

Raph rubbed his eyes, his fingers swollen. “I need to ask him something.”

“Rest,” his master spoke far more firmly. 

With a grumpy snort, Raph closed his eyes. “M’ thirsty,” he said finally. 

“Sit slowly,” Splinter placed a hand on his back, helping him up. 

“Ow,” Raph dug his fingers into the edge of the couch cushion. 

“Where is your pain, my son?”

“My whole body aches,” Raph rubbed his chest slowly, wincing. 

Splinter nodded. “As I said. You are very ill. Drink your water and I will see if I can track down any of our hot water bottles.”

Raph did as he was told, finishing off an entire glass of water in moments. The cold liquid hit his empty stomach like a battering ram, shooting goosebumps down his arms. 

“Whoa,” Raph curled an arm over his stomach, the infant beneath doing a full summersault below. 

“Is all well?”

“The kid is active,” Raph rubbed slow circles into the skin, still surprised. Light kicks and the occasional wiggle was nothing compared to the tantrum they were throwing now. 

Splinter smiled softly, watching the awe in his son’s eyes. Despite the illness, despite the unnatural flush creeping into his cheeks his contentment was clear, the comfort he felt relishing in the life growing within him. 

“I will get you more water,” the rat stood slowly. 

Leaning back in his chair Raph nodded, his attention still drawn away. Fingers starfished across his stomach he closed his eyes, content to feel the tiny movements. 

“Raph, you’re up,” Leo’s voice spoke behind him. 

He only managed to open one eye. “In a manner of speaking.”

“Where’s Splinter?”

“Getting water,” Raph tried to shift to give him room, wincing again. 

“Don’t,” Leo sat on the arm of the couch. “I’m good. I don't need a chair.”

Raph sent him a weak thumbs-up, letting himself sink back down. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Just achey. That’s a normal sick person thing right?” A hand squeezed his insides tightly. 

“So Donny says,” Leo agreed. 

Getting his panic under control Raph asked his question. “Me being sick isn’t hurting them, is it? You said something about me being sick makes them sick. Is that true?”

“Well,” Leonardo rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know to the extent but it can’t be good…”

Reaching a hand out Raph swatted his arm. 

“What was that for?”

“Giving me a panic attack!” Raph sunk into the cushions. “I thought I’d seriously messed them up. I finally got everything figured out and you drop that bombshell of a fib on me. If I could stand up I’d kick you across the room!”

He rubbed his head, his own volume making him ache. 

“Sorry,” Leo tried to summon any real guilt. “It was the only thing that would make you take care of yourself.”

Raph opened and shut his mouth a couple times, sinking into a disgruntled silence. 

“See?”

“Oh shut up,  _ hnn _ ,” Raph pressed a hand into his side, caught off guard. 

“You okay?” Leo was crouched next to him. 

“Yeah,” Raph dug the palm of his hand against the limb beneath. “I’m just harboring Splinter’s newest prize ninja student,” he grumbled. “Either that or they’ve got a hell of a left hook.”

Leo smiled, amused. “Newest ninja?”

“Feel this,” Raph grabbed his brother’s hand, placing it over the wild movement without thinking.

Frozen Leo felt the tiny baby, his eyes wide. “That’s, that’s your- the kid?” he stumbled over his words. 

Heat rising into his cheeks Raph gave a short nod. “Active little guy isn’t he?”

“Y-Yeah,” Leo’s hand followed the shifting limb until the baby below settled down. “That’s incredible.”

“The novelty wears off,” Raph smiled down at the swell, “or so I’ve heard.”

“Still enjoying it?”

“Bit annoying when I’m trying to sleep but it has its own kind of comfort,” Raph rubbed his head, speaking without thinking. “Just nice to know they’re there.”

Leo nodded, not wanting to interrupt. 

“Sometimes they get their foot between my ribs,” Raph smiled absently. “Or at least I think it’s a foot. Might be a fist. I can’t really tell sometimes. I feel the head most of the time though,” he rubbed the side of his stomach. “Books say they should’ve flipped upside down by now. Though let's be honest, any kid of mine is going to their own opinions.”

Leo chuckled. “Couldn't have said it better myself.”

“Hey,” Raph grumbled. “I resent that.”

“You said it not me,” Leo raised his arms in surrender. 

“I guess that’s tr-” Raphael’s short laugh turned to a hacking cough. Bending over he had a hand over his mouth, shoulders shaking. 

Jumping up Leo patted his back. “Deep breaths,” he said wildly. 

“Ow,” Raph shook, lying down slowly. 

“Get some sleep Raph,” Leo grabbed for the blanket at the end of the bed and offering it to him. 

“Mkay,” he mumbled, pulling the thick wool around his shoulders. 

Splinter, standing in the door frame, watched the scene unfold, cup in hand and heart warming. 

Taking his station back on the armchair he set a hand on Leo’s shoulder. “Calm yourself,” he soothed. “Raphael will be well. His fever has calmed a great deal in his few hours rest.”

“I know,” Leo sighed. “I know he will. He’s a tough kid.”

“You are all strong children,” Splinter laughed lightly, “and I do include the newest one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will never ever get sick of thanking you all for the support this story is getting. With my more popular ones winding down, this one really is going to be my main focus for a while, and it looks like it is going to be a long one. 
> 
> Strap yourselves in!


	10. Chapter Ten

Still prone to coughing fits and properly set up a backup on the couch Raph dozed, lids heavy, one arm under his head as he flicked through channels. Giving up after only a few minutes he sat up.

"You okay Raph?" Mikey peered over the edge of the couch. 

"Bored," he mumbled, throat hoarse. 

His grin spread slow.

"I have something to do," Mikey said slowly. Behind his back, he gestured Donny forward. 

Sneaking from the kitchen table Donatello produced his modified laptop computer.  "I'm so glad you said that."

Sitting either side of him the brothers grinned. 

"What?" Raph glanced between them, apprehensive. 

"Well," Mikey began. "As you've decided to keep the baby you'll need some supplies. As we can't exactly hold you a baby shower-"

"If you even try to..." Raph sputtered, trepidation only growing. 

"And that's why," Donny cut in easily, "We have decided this is the next best thing." He set his laptop on Raph's knees, open to a baby merchandise website.

"Why?" Raph groaned. 

"You need baby stuff!" Mikey crossed his arms. “Like baby name books. They’ve got to at least have a name right?”

"And I'll get it," Raph shifted uncomfortably. "Myself."

"When? Where?" 

"I, I don't know yet."

Donny snorted. "And with what funds?"

"I've got money," Raph tried to hand the laptop back. "I had a, a job when I was freshly human."

"You did not," Mikey was shaking his head. 

Reaching into his back pocket Raph pulled a slim wallet. Flipping it open he showed them a debit card. "I set up a bank account before I went looking for a job."

"I thought you said you hadn't eaten that day!" Donny pointed out.

"That was more from stress than lack of funds."

"How much dough you got anyway?" Mikey but in. 

"About... five hundred," Raph shrugged.

"Dollars?"

"Um, more like thousand."

Mikey gaped. "F-five hundred thousand dollars? What did you do?"

Raph shrunk in his seat. "I'd rather not talk-"

"That's how you got all those prenatal prescriptions," Donny said numbly, connecting the dots. "You were a dealer."

Raph winced badly. "That's why I never used anything. I would never sell to kids or to anyone but a few people already hooked but, um, yeah. I had a couple other things on the side, sold some stuff I found dumpster diving." Raph scrambled for an explanation, shrinking ever further in his chair. The hoarseness in his throat only added to the painful lump of emotions. "I'd take back every penny if I could."

Mikey's mouth was stuck in a permanent  'o.'

Donny said nothing, his face unreadable. "I'll make you a deal."

"Yeah?" Raph said. 

"I was going to pay for all the baby stuff and I'll still help if, and only if, you make a massive donation to a rehab place."

"Cross my heart. I'll give them everything. I only need a few things," Raph sat up again. 

"No. You need to pay for good things for the kid," Donny sighed. "Pick whatever size donation then make sure you buy your kid a good life."

Raph nodded, still entirely ashamed.

"I'm sorry," Raph said quietly. "I swear I didn't know for the first time I did and-"

"Enough," Donny said. "Let's just forget about it. You're not doing it anymore." 

He nodded once.

Mikey bounced on the chair. "Baby stuff now?"

"One sec," Raph took the laptop, steering to the biggest charity he knew and giving them nearly half his money.

"That much?"

"Raph, you still need-"

"I swear I will give them all of it!"

"Okay, okay."

"Baby stuff  _ now _ ?"

Raph flipped back to the right page. "Fine!"

"Yes!"

“Before we start,” Donny cut in.

Mikey groaned. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to know the gender?” Donny asked. 

“I’ve told you I don’t.”

“That’s no fun,” Mikey pouted. “Shopping won’t be as fun.”

“It’s not going to be any fun anyway,” Raph grumped.

Donny grinned, relaxing. "Okay. First, crib."

"Two cribs," Mikey cut in. 

Raph raised one eyebrow.

"Well if you're going to visit then the baby needs a place right?"

Raph shook his head. "No way. I am not keeping a baby in the sewers."

"Come on," Donny ganged up on him. "I mean you have to have the baby here anyway. Right? And you can't start your job until spring."

Raph's face shifted an odd shade of green. The idea of the actual birth was scary enough.

"I mean, I haven't thought about that yet."

"Two cribs."

Caught off guard Raph nodded. "Okay. Fine. Two cribs. But I'm not getting the baby stuff for here, just my house."

"Sounds good to me," Donny shrugged. "Gives us something to do later."

Scrolling through the endless options Raph put his chin in his hand. "Why are there four million? It's a crib."

"Mommies are picky," Mikey snorted. 

Raph stuck out his tongue. "This is going to take an hour." 

He covered his eyes and clicked at random.

"You're not going to do any research?" Donny shrieked.

"It. Is. A. Crib!" Raph gestured dramatically at the page. "It is a wooden baby cage to keep them from falling on the floor. What else does it need to have?"

"From the looks of the page..." Mikey squinted. "You can get this one in four different colors, with one of twelve sheet sets."

Raph groaned, dragging his palms down his face. "This is going to take forever."

"Come on," Donny took the laptop. "It'll be fun."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter I know. I'm sorry. 
> 
> The support for this story has been the best birthday present of all. This is the only story I have right now that I'll be keeping on an actual schedule. Otherwise, I have half a dozen stories with less than three chapters. 
> 
> Comments are much appreciated!


	11. Chapter Eleven

Raph was right in a way. Baby shopping took a good amount of time. Even after all the essentials were decided on and collected he found himself adding more things himself. The crib he’d chosen changed three times before he stopped himself. Thoughts of changing tables, baby bags, carriers and binky's were always on the edge of his mind. 

“Raph!” Leo waved a hand in front of his face. 

“What?” Raph jumped, turning to blink at his brothers. 

Leo raised an eyebrow, in a manner of speaking, and leaned back in his seat. “You have any input for movie night?”

“Not really,” Raph shrugged. He tapped his closed pen on his thigh.

Mikey dropped next to him with a tub of popcorn. “Where has your brain been anyway?”

“Somewhere between a fevered stupor and considering baby clothes.”

“Did you get something other than those onesies?” Mikey scowled. “You’ve gotta have some fun.”

“I told you, I’m not dressing the kid in designer stuff. They don’t need shoes til they walk and I don’t care about colors because I don’t care about gender.”

Mikey threw his arms into the air. “So? This is my nibbling you’re talking about. They’ve got to look cool sometimes.”

Raph laughed, the sound turning to a dry cough. “There’s more important stuff to get before I indulge your thing with clothes.” He pressed a hand to his chest.

“Just because I don’t wear them doesn’t mean I don’t notice them.”

“Like,” Raph interrupted his brother. “Bottles, diapers, blankets and food brands just to name a few,” Raph rubbed his head.

“And names?” Mikey perked up.

“A couple.”

“Did you ever decide?” Donny asked, setting down the soda bottles in his arms. “On the brand of formula, I mean.”

With a low sigh, Raph shook his head. “I want to get a nice brand, maybe something mailed in, just to save the trip but there’s always the chance of mail getting lost. The house is pretty far out in the woods. But that means I also can’t run to the store.”

“Don’t moms usually feed the kid themselves?” Mikey asked, not realizing the words had come out his mouth. 

Raph’s cheeks heated. “Mikey. I’m not exactly equipped for that.”

Donny and Leo exchanged glances, both with hands over their mouths, grins hidden. 

Fumbling for words Mikey’s face shifted from green to firetruck red in seconds. “I didn’t mean, I didn’t think, er, sorry Raph.”

Waving him off Raph set his pen and notepad down. “Whatever. Doesn’t change anything. I do have to decide eventually.” He moved to stand only to be stopped by three sets of hands. 

“And what do you think you’re doing?”

“Hold on!”

“Where are you going?”

“Chill. I have to pee, I have a kid playing soccer on top of my bladder,” Raph brushed them all off. “I’m still allowed to stand up aren’t I?”

Moving back his brother’s shot him sheepish grins. 

Grumbling under his breath Raph pushed himself up. 

Donny finally sunk into his chair, breathlessly laughing. 

“What?” Leo asked. 

“Mikey thought Raph was going to  _ breastfeed _ .”

“Stop,” Mikey hid his face. “I didn’t know, okay. I mean he’s not getting the kid cut outright? And you keep saying he’s becoming more girly.”

Shaking his head Donny recovered himself. “He’s got more contained feminine hormones, only around the baby, however. It shouldn’t affect more than his lower organs. He’s still technically male. His voice is still low, he’s still got an adam’s apple and muscle mass typical of teenage boys.”

“So what’s to say he wouldn’t be able to feed the baby?” Leo asked, honestly interested. 

“I…” Donny shrugged one shoulder. “I guess the only reason is there seems to be no signs of it. Don’t tell him I said this,” his voice dropped as his breathless giggles picked up again. “He said he’s seen growth.” he indicated his chest. “And it’s all sore.”

“Ew, TMI,” Mikey made a disgusted face as Leo snorted. 

“What’s so funny?” Raph asked, walking back into the room, wiping his hands on his pant legs. 

“Nothing,” Leo sobered. 

Dropping back to the couch he picked up his notepad again. 

Desperate to forget his embarrassment Mikey leaned over his shoulder. “What are you writing anyway?”

“My sick brain isn’t going away,” Raph clicked in his pen. “Whenever I remember something else I need to get, I write it down.”

“Since when does the baby need a microwave?”

“They don’t. I do,” Raph elbowed him out of his face. “I’m moving into a new house. I need a few things.”

“You should get one of those big fancy rocking chairs,” Mikey said, settling into Raph’s normal overlarge chair.

Raph glared at him with those intense green eyes. “I’m not. I’m taking that one.”

“No!” Mikey flailed dramatically. “This one is the best one we have!”

“Exactly,” Raph teased. 

“It’s okay,” Mikey stroked the armchair. “I won’t let him separate us.”

With a sound stuck somewhere between a cough and a laugh Raph turned back to his notepad. “I’d never been able to get that chair into my house anyway. I’ll look at armchairs.”

“You’re safe!” Mikey kissed the armchair. 

Leo smirked and flipped the tv on. “PDA is gross Mikey.”

“You would never understand our love!”

Settling himself back into chair Raph rolled his eyes good-naturedly at his brother. He reached a hand out and stole the bucket of popcorn while Mikey was distracted, eating a handful. 

“Hey!” Mikey reached over to take it back.

“Mine now,” Raph wrapped both arms around it. 

“Leo!” 

Taking his seat again Leo shook his head, still smiling. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Raph, give it back.”

“You’d really steal from pregnant persons?” Raph stuck his bottom lip out comically. 

“Yep,” Mikey snatched it back. He misjudged his grip, dropping a small shower of popcorn. 

With a yelp, Raph covered his face. “Hey!”

Mikey swept a hand over Raph’s arm. “That’s what you get for stealing.”

Slapping his hand away Raph brushed off the rest of the mess. 

“You’ve got some butter on you,” Donny indicated a couple of spots. 

Raph picked up a napkin and began dabbing at the mess. “Ouch,” he mumbled, taking his hand away with a wince.

“What’s up?” Mikey settled back in his seat. 

“Dunno,” Raph pulled away the neck of his shirt, looking down. “What the hell?” 

It was Mikey’s turn, examining his brother, to bust out laughing, sinking in his chair. “Speak of the devil. R-Raph. You’re leaking.”

“What?” Donny and Leo echoed each other, criking their neck to turn around. 

There, mid-chest, a matching set of damp circles staining his shirt. 

“Don’t say a word,” Raph growled, teeth set. His face burned a deep red. “I’m going to go change.”

“I guess this solves your baby food problem,” Mikey was wheezing. 

“Shut up,” Raph stood carefully. “Donny. Can I use your laptop? I have an order to cancel.”

“If you’re going to keep borrowing the laptop then just get your own,” Donny kept his face unreadable.

“I wouldn’t put a laptop on a list of essentials,” Raph glared up at him. 

“Well, it’s essential to me that I have  _ my _ stuff.”

Raph rolled his eyes. “Fine. You order it though. I don’t know a thing about tech stuff.” He headed down the hall to change.

Donny stood up to follow him. “I’ll be sure to get it here tomorrow,” he said, just behind his brother. 

“Aren’t you going to have movie night?” Mikey called

“I’ll be back in a few. Don’t wait for me.” Donny waved. 

Raph didn’t answer, shoulder’s ducked. 

“You okay?” Donny asked, once out of earshot. 

“Fine,” he mumbled. “I’m getting used to my stupid human body doing whatever it wants. The humiliation just doesn't ever end.”

“The baby will be born before you know it,” Donny assured. 

“Which apparently doesn’t mean the end of it,” Raph crossed his arms. 

Swallowing his smile Donny asked his question. “Do you want me to order something for that?”

Raph made a face. “I’ll do it.”

“Okay.”

Hurrying off to his own room his brother watched him go, a weight settling in his gut. Walking down the hall to his room Donny opened his browser again, looking through the baby list that popped up. 

It had tripled in size. All things of necessity, plan items, all focused around the use of the item and time it would last. Nodding he approved each one. There was an odd weight in Donny’s chest until he scrolled down to the bottom. There, tucked in the corner was a set of stuffed animals and a onesie, a thing in pale green with a big heart stitched on. 

Donny smiled. “You’re doing this. Really doing this. No matter how weird… how much stuff happens. You really actually want this kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the notes. 
> 
> With everything I've been up to lately the chapters, I should be updating every other week!


	12. Chapter Twelve

“And I’m allowed to get up when?” Raph asked, hands behind his head, still firmly stuck on his place on the couch. “I’m fine! I’m not running a temperature anymore and I almost never cough.”

“Almost,” Donny packed up his first aid kit. “And until that almost is  _ never _ you will stay here.”

With a self-suffering groan Raph dropped his arm over his eyes. “Donny I’m not made of glass.”

“No, you’re made up of human bits, and those human bits need rest. You’re due in seven weeks.”

“Which means nothing,” Raph pushed himself up onto his elbow. “You’re just shooting excuses at me.”

“What would you even do?”

“Walk around under my own power!” Raph protested. “Come on! I’m stir crazy and I’m pretty sure my muscles are going to atrophy if I don’t do something.”

“Then find something you can do sitting down,” Donny snapped the kit shut, storming down the hall. 

Pressing his palms into his eyes Raph groaned. 

“You okay?” Mikey leaned over the back of the couch. 

“I’m bored out of my mind.”

“Don’t you have that baby list you’re putting together? I saw the laptop Donny got you.”

“It’s stressing me out.”

“Sorry buddy,” Mikey flipped over the couch to sit on the coffee table. “Anything I can do?”

“Get me a new game?” Raph asked desperately. “I finished that new Mario game thing last night.”

“Without me?” Mikey gasped, betrayed. “Can you help me through that last boss? For the life of me I can’t get into bowser’s castle and,” he trailed off, flushed beneath Raph’s intense glare. “New game. Got it. I’ll see what I can do.”

“I’ll help you with Mario,” Raph rolled his eyes, unable to handle Mikey’s bottom lip stuck out so far. 

He jumped up. “Yes! Could you do it now? Splinter wants us to do this night training thing and I’m free now.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Raph mumbled. “And could you…” he paused. 

“You good?”

Raph held up a finger, quiet, a slow grin spread across his face. “Mikey. Wanna see something weird?”

“Always,” Mikey flipped around, his video game in hand. “What is it?”

“Watch,” Raph held very still, eyes frozen on his middle. 

They waited for a short moment before Mikey’s curiosity got the better of him. “What are we-” he stopped watching the short series of jerky movements. “Oh cool!” he paused. “What are they doing?”

“They have the hiccups,” Raph rested his chin in his hand. 

“Hiccups?” stars filled Mikey’s eyes. “Really?”

“Pretty sure.”

“Cool,” Mikey grinned. “Do they do it a lot?”

He shook his head. “This is only the second time I’ve really noticed.”

Kicking Raph’s legs off the couch Mikey took his seat, offering Raph a controller. “When was the first?” he navigated the menu. 

“Couple of nights ago,” Raph settled into a new position, bare feet on the coffee table. “It freaked me out so bad I spent half the night reading up on it.”

“Haven't you become Mr. Research lately?”

“You would be too if you were housing a freakin’ miracle of nature,” Raph snorted. “I feel like, no matter how much I read there’s always something new.”

Mikey nodded thoughtfully. “Hey, Raph?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever, I mean, did you tell…” Mikey fiddled with a loose button on his controller. “Do you ever think about the baby’s other parent?”

Raph’s face turned stony. “What about him?”

“So it was a him?”

Shifting his shoulders uncomfortably he nodded. “Why does that matter?”

“I was just… I guess I didn’t know you liked guys.”

“I don’t,” Raph sunk in his chair. “It was more  _ guy _ than guys.”

“What was he like?”

“Mikey,” Raph snapped. “Drop it. Let’s just get into Bowser’s castle.”

“Right,” Mikey let it go, remembering every word spoken to tell the others. 

Raph, on the other hand, was doing utmost to forget every word. There was no way he’d let his brothers get another word out of him. 

Cycling through the levels quickly Raph kept his exclamations to a minimum, guiding his brother through the game. By the end, however, the weight on his shoulders seemed only to have grown.

Mikey threw his controller in the air, jumping to his feet. “Finally!” he crowed. 

Sinking into his chair Raph snorted. “You really couldn’t get  _ that _ ?”

“It was hard,” Mikey defended. “The real question is how you managed to do it by yourself.”

“Maybe I’m just better,” Raph jabbed. 

Slapping a hand over his chest Mikey feigned a sob. “My honor has been damaged!”

“Mikey!” Leo called from the hallway. “Time to go!”

With a low groan, Mikey turned off the game system and slouched down the hall.

Placing my own controller Raph stood, following his youngest brother. “How long will you be out?” Raph asked slowly, waiting beside the door. 

“A few hours,” Leo tightened the strap of his sword. “We’re just going to run around a bit.”

“I, I want to come with.” Raph straightened his shoulders. 

“Raph…”

“I don’t want to do anything dangerous or even the exercises, I just want some fresh air. It’ll be good for my breathing or something,” he finished lamely. “Right Donny?”

Raph could see him start to cave. 

“It wouldn’t be the worst idea.”

“I won’t go wandering,” Raph continued. “You can dump me on the top of some rooftop somewhere.” He was ready to beg when Leo sighed, long and low. 

“Fine,” Leonardo gave in. “But  _ no _ wandering. Nothing crazy.”

Raph struggled to suppress a grin. “Would you kill me if I gave into a craving and went to Snack Shack for a brownie?”

Mikey snorted. “I have gotten you three trays in the last month I swear.”

“Blame the kid,” Raph followed his brothers to the exit. 

“We’ll get it for you,” Leo said firmly, pulling the door open. “You are not leaving a five-foot radius of where we leave you.”

“Fine, fine, fine,” Raph gave in too easily, the burning eyes of Leo stuck on the back of his neck all the way to the surface. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading!


	13. Chapter Thirteen

“Wait,” Leonardo held an arm out in front of Mikey, Donny pausing just behind him. 

“What is it?” Mikey peered over his shoulder. 

Holding a finger to his lips Leo crouched down at the edge of the building. 

Far below them, standing by a cart in central park Raph hovered by the gate. He held still for several moments, glancing around the street and even up to where his brothers hid. 

Leo pushed the others down, waiting with bated breath. 

“What’s going on?” Donny hissed. 

“You really think he just wanted a breath of fresh air?” Leo rolled his eyes. 

Mikey turned and watched Raph as he hurried off down the street. 

“What is he doing?”

“Let’s find out,” Leo straightened. 

There were days in which Splinter would wonder if the ninja part of their training had taken hold at all. But even he would have admitted great pride watching the three turtles follow their brother from central park into a far more seedy side of town.

“Where in the-” Mikey stood on the roof.

“Get down!” Donny pulled him back down.

“Ow!”

Freezing in place Raph looked back up, scanning the edge of the rooftops. 

The street lamps shining above him flickered. Turning up the collar of his coat he headed further down the street. 

Buildings towered up around him, many dilapidated or blocked off all the windows were blacked out. 

“Weird,” he mumbled, hands shoved further in his pockets. The air around him was icy cold, the wind sending goosebumps down his spine. For once the baby was very still, sensing his nerves no doubt. Hands cradled under the bump he headed further down the street. 

A hand grabbed his shoulder. 

Whirling around Raph smacked away the arm, cycling back. 

“Ralphie,” a deep voice rumbled. “I knew it was you. When was the last time you got yourself a haircut little man?”

“Gunner,” Raph’s voice broke in relief. “You scared me half to death. The hell you sneak up on me for? Besides, It’s Raph. Not Ralph.”

He leaned back, hands in his back pockets. Gunner was the size of a tank, badly dyed blonde hair held back with a thick bandana. His rat mustache curled upward with his lopsided grin. “Where you been Ralph?”

“Around.”

“Nobody's seen you in months. Ken-”

“Where is he?” Raph turned around, dark curls bouncing. “I came to see him.”

“Don’t worry about him,” Gunner slung an arm around his shoulders. “Benny was telling me about how you came to him for more stuff for your girl. How big she gettin’ now?”

“Pretty big,” Raph pulled his coat tighter, hunching his shoulders. 

Gunner snorted. “Benny’s been the only one to see you for a while. I was thinking you’d run out on us.”

Shifting from foot to foot Raph shook his head. “No. I’ve just been with my girl.”

“Where she live again?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Come on little buddy, humor me. Where have you been?”

A coil of dread began to pull tighter under his ribcage. “I told you, just around. Where is everybody else?”

Gunner began to drag him across the street, his hand steel around Raph’s shoulder. “The crew’s all out on patrol. We got some breeches in perimeter.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Gang across the street,” Gunner’s face soured. “We had a shootout a few weeks ago. Lost some good men.”

The ice was settling further. “Gunner. Where is Ken?”

“You know he was telling me something funny a little bit ago,” Gunner chuckled, ducking into the side alley. “I really didn’t believe him. But ya know, seeing you now I’m starting to think he might have a point.”

“What was he saying?” Raph shifted, the fingers digging further into his shoulder. 

“He was saying something about how you didn’t have a girl.”

Raph swallowed hard. “What are you talking about? I paid tons for all those pills and lotions.”

“That’s the thing,” Gunner turned, still clinging to his arm. “I don’t think they weren’t needed.”

His move was too fast for Raph to catch. Gunner pulled down the zipper of his coat and the thin t-shirt below stretched too tight. 

Raph pulled back, arms over his stomach. 

“He was right,” Gunner glared at him, eyes narrowed. “You’re actually knocked up.”

“No, I-” 

“Save it,” his hand gripped his arm tighter, nearly hard enough to splinter bone.

The twisting in his chest came to a sharp point. "Gunner," Raph scrambled, panic blinding his training, things that should have been instinct.   
  
"Shut up!" He hissed low and easy, nails digging into the skin. "You don't get to speak. You get to listen. I don’t give a shit how it happened, what kind of  _ man _ you think you are. Do you know what happened after you vanished?" His grin was flat, eyes burning with blood lust. "Ken said he figured it out. Said you vanished cause he got you knocked up."

Raph wanted to pull away, wanted to escape the tobacco scented breath. But the name, just Ken's name had him rooted to the spot.   
  
The evil smile spread slow, yellow teeth shining in weak lamplight. "So when you vanished he went looking for ya. He found your little hidey-hole. That ginger chick doesn't know a thing."  
  
"You hurt April?" Raph couldn't speak above a whisper.   
  
Gunners laugh was a dog like bark

"Nah. Just told her we were worried friends. Or at least that's what he said he told her."  
  
The frantic thudding of his heart was only going faster. "Gunner. Where is Ken?"  
  
"Funny thing," Gunner pushed him back closer to the brick wall. "I asked that same thing for weeks. He wouldn't stop trying to find you. Said something about you having a bunker underground. People were sure he'd cracked."

Gunner’s grip grew harder, Raph pressed against the icy stone, arm against his chest.   
  
"I did too, still do. I told him you must've defected, gone over to another gang." His face was inches away. "So guess where he went? Guess where he looked?"  
  
Raph couldn't speak, a knot had closed around his throat.   
  
"He went across the street little buddy. He went to go find you."  
  
"Where is Kenta?" Raph begged. "What happened?"  
  
Gunners voice dropped ever further, leaning in until his mouth was next to his near. "He's dead."  
  
"No!" Raph twisted his arm, pushing Gunner back. "You're lying!"

Taken aback his face soured and he launched himself forward, fingers clinging to Raph's hair, hooking a finger through the red band. "Why would I lie? You're the one who got him killed in the first place! If you'd stayed like a good little boy he never would've gone looking. You're not just a traitor who got our best agent killed you're carrying his bastard kid!" 

Gunner’s hand curled around Raph’s neck, lifting him into the air. 

Air torn from him Raph struggled to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, or left kudos!
> 
> We're gettin' into the heavy angst now :)


	14. Chapter Fourteen

“Stop!” A voice shouted. 

Gunner dropped Raph who crumpled on the ground, gasping for air.    
  
The three hulking figures landed behind the pair, a hand on Gunner's shoulder.    
  
"Big mistake," growled the largest.    
  
"The hell you want you-?" Gunner's words died on his tongue, color draining from his face. "What, what _ are _ you?"   
  
Leonardo, drawn to his full height and backlit by the winter air posed a terrifying sight. He pulled an arm back and punched Gunner square on the nose. "We're his brothers."    
  
Gunner slumped to the ground, his scream cut off.    
  
"Geez," Donny crouched, inspecting the boy. He opened Gunner's eye, blinking a minuscule flashlight over the pupil. He didn't even twitch. "Pull your punches, Leo. You could've killed him."    
  
"I didn't," Leo growled, arms crossed.    
  
Rolling his eyes Donny dropped his eyes, gently prodding his nose. Gunner groaned, long and loud. "No. But you broke his nose."    
  
"Raph!" Mikey dashed forward, stepping over the crumpled figure. "Raph are you okay? He hit you, are you-"    


Frantically Raph scrambled to his feet, coat hanging off his shoulder. He shoved past his brother, his entire body trembling.   
  
"What happened?" Mikey tried to grab his shoulder. Donny stood, leaving his brother's attacker, to stop Mikey.   
  
Hunched over an empty trash can Raph threw up, bile burning his throat, forcing tears from his eyes.   
  
"Raph?" Mikey waited until his brother had stood up.  
  
Wiping his mouth Raph didn't turn back to them, bent over, head hung. "Can we go home now?"

"Of course," Donny said.   
  
"Not yet," Leo's fury palpable he grabbed Raph's arm. "What were you thinking?"  
  
"Get off of me," Raph's throat still burned.   
  
"No," Leo kept his head level.

Raph tried to pull the same move, Leo's hand tight on his coat sleeve. It ripped away, only half on. Raph's fury blocked out the icy air. "What answer do you want Leo? You know me. You saw, you heard I'm sure. This city is big. I remember the route. This is pretty far off the beaten track!" He pointed an accusatory finger at him, both his wrist and neck were turning purple from the controlling fingers.   
  
Leo's stone face didn't waver. "I do know you. I knew you'd wander off."  
  
"Wander off?!" Raph sputtered. "I'm not a lost puppy! I'm a _human being_."  
  
"Exactly my point. You can't protect yourself like you used to."  
  
"Don't you think I know that?" Raph snatched his coat back. From an inner pocket, he drew a shuriken set. "I'm not stupid Leo! I can defend myself. I don't need a babysitter. I need information!"   
  
"At the expense of this?" Leo took his arm at the elbow, pointing to his purpling neck.  
  
"Collateral damage," Raph growled.   
  
Leo's temper rose. "You were being reckless. You could've gotten seriously injured. Or you could've hurt your child."  
  
Raph saw red, drawing back his hand. He knew he didn't have the force he used to. But an open-handed smack would still sting.   
  
Leo took a step back, a hand on his face.

"Raph," Donny chastised. "Leo. Leave it be."  
  
Raphael ignored him. "Don't you dare bring my baby into this! Why do you think I came up in the first place? I'm doing it for them. I came to find their father!" Raph's voice cracked on the last word.   
  
“Their…” Mikey stopped, watching. 

Pressing his hand over his mouth Raph struggled to keep himself under control. “But he's... he's..." His resolve was waning. His eyes were burning again. "Don't talk to me about my child," he said again. "I know what I'm doing. I don't need you to babysit me, I don't need your help."  
  
Leo's jaw was set, his face stinging. "Fine. We won't help anymore."  
  
"What?" Mikey yelped his first protest. "Leo!"  
  
"Of course we'll still help," Donny looked between the brothers in a panic.   
  
Raph's face was an imitation mask of stone. "Fine. I'll be out by morning."  
  
"Wait, wait," Mikey was trying to think. "Raph, you can't leave."  
  
"You're due in a few weeks."  
  
Raph pulled his coat back on. "The great leader has spoken." He spat poison. "Don't want to upset the all-knowing Leo." He trudged past the trio, Donny and Mikey still sputtering excuses.   
  
"Leo?!" Donny turned to him in a panic.

He didn't budge.   
  
"Guys," Mikey's eyes glazed, panic welling. "Leo, you won't really send him away will you?"  
  
Leo watched Raph's figure round the corner. "I'm not making him do anything. This is his choice. You heard him. He's all grown up." He sneered. He didn't listen to the continued protests, face still burning. "Come on. We're finishing our training."

* * *

 

  
Raph’s anger drove him back to the little home tucked in the sewers, numbness blocking out pain, blocking even the cold.   
  
Violently he wrenched the door open, a move that would have once bent the steel but now hardly moved it.   
  
Chest heaving he stormed down the hall, past empty rooms. His room in the back was a mess.

Slamming the door behind him he only got a step forward before he dropped to his knees, hands over his mouth.   
  
What was this? What was happening? Why wouldn't his body listen to him?  
  
"Kenta..." he whispered, the ache in his chest breaking to a thousand pieces.   
  
With hardly the energy to shrug off his coat, he curled up atop the creaking bed, shuddering with silent sobs.   
  
"No," he put his arms over his head, eyes pressed shut. "No. No. This isn't real. This isn't happening." His words dissolved into incoherent sobs. The pain in his chest was so sharp, throbbing like an embedded sword.   
  
He always thought heartbreak was figurative, something dramatic people said. He'd had no idea it could be so literal.

A sharp rapping at the door jolted him from his shattered state.    
  
His face was stiff with dried tears and he was sure it wasn't something he could hide.    
  
Pushing himself off the bed he dropped to his knees and pulling out his backpack.    
  
"Go away, Leo!"    
  
He winced. He was still choked up.    
  
The door slid open. "Your brothers are not here."    
  
"Splinter."  Raph still didn't turn, wiping at his face furiously.    
  
"My son," Splinter's tone was too understanding.    
  
Shrinking further Raph crossed his arms tightly. "What'd they tell you?"    
  
"While Leonardo may allow you to take that tone with him you will do no such thing with me."    
  
"Sorry sensei," Raph swallowed.    
  
The rat walked forward, standing beside the crouched boy. "Your apology is accepted."  A soft hand rested on Raphael's shoulder.  "What happened my son? I was told you left from where you had agreed to stay, that you encountered a less than savory character and discovered some... bad news."

Raph's breath hitched. No. He wouldn't cry again. He wouldn't. "That about sums it up."  
  
"Would you care to elaborate?"  
  
He shook his head.   
  
"Then may I infer?" Splinter asked gently.   
  
"Sure," Raph whispered.

Splinter placed his hands on his knees, watching Raph begin to pack his things.   
  
"I assume the true reason you chose to leave the home you have stayed hidden in all these months was to run a sort of errand. While I do not know the contents of this errand I imagine your foray into that alley was not an accident. Am I correct so far?"  
  
Raph nodded, hands shaking. He pulled open a drawer, pulling out his few clothes that still fit.

"And this less than savory person? Was he a friend?"  
  
"Acquaintance," Raph muttered. "At best."  
  
Splinter smiled flatly, "I see. And this acquaintance, he was the one who gave you this bad news?"  
  
The tearing sensation had returned. "Yeah," Raph spoke ever softer.   
  
"My son. I can see your pain. This news, no matter how painful, should not tear you away from your family."  
  
So painful.   
  
Underneath his ribs, the gentle shifting of his baby only added to his aching. With shaking hands, he ran a hand over the movement. Curling his arms over the swell he leaned forward, tears spilling forth once again.  
  
"It already took my family."

"Raphael?" Splinter placed an arm around his shoulders.   
  
He was gone, the shaking now with strangled sobs. Bent over as far as his swollen stomach would allow, the boy dissolved into tears all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again for your amazing support! Please leave comments or suggestions for the story. I'd really love to hear it!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Splinter waited patiently, the weight of his hand never shifting.   
The newest bout of tears lasted several minutes, leaving Raph wrung dry as they passed. The pain, the sorrow still remained but the strength to shed the tears had gone if for a moment.   
  
"Who has been taken?"  
  
He didn't bother wondering how he knew. "The, the kid's dad, their other parent," Raph hiccuped. "He got shot."  
  
"And what proof do you have of this?"

"What?"  
  
"Other than his words what proof do you have that proves this statement is true?"   
  
The pain in his chest came to a stop, along with his heartbeat. A shred of hope, a pinprick of light at the end of the dark tunnel he'd been lost in.   
  
"He could be alive," Raph kicked his backpack as he scrambled up.

“Raphael.”

He was up on his feet, eyes wide, hardly able to form coherent words. “He could be alive.” Moving back down the hall he passed no one, picking up his abandoned laptop. Raph made no indication of hearing Splinter as he came up behind him. 

Typing frantically into the search Raph waited, staring at the screen. 

‘Kenta Himura.’

“My son,” Splinter stood beside him. “You must prepare yourself for whatever you are to see. If this man is still in the realm of the living what will you tell him? What impact will it have on your child?”

“I,” Raph scrambled, watching the slow internet progress. “I don’t care. I’ll figure it out. He has to be alive.”

“And if he is not?”

“He has to be,” Raph’s voice broke. 

“Raph?” Mikey’s voice sounded from behind. 

He hardly turned. 

Silhouetted in the doorway his two younger brothers stood, worry written in every line on his face. 

_ Why are they so freaked out? _ Raph thought harshly, turning back to his screen. There in the blank screen, he could see it. 

Along his neck, he had a bruise where Gunner had gripped. His hair, already dark and curly, pushed up wildly one side of his head, the other hanging lank into his freckled face. His cheeks were caked with salted tear stains, green eyes ringed with a bloodshot red.

Clothes dirty and wrinkled Raph was sure he looked positively insane, desperate. 

_ Who cares? I am desperate. _ Raph thought. His silent begging turned to whispers. “Please,” he begged the loading screen. 

“Splinter?” Mikey stepped forward. “What’s going on?”

“He is discovering the fate of-”

“Finally!” Raph shouted as the page sprang to life. Setting the laptop on the back of the couch he scrolled through the results to the news. 

There, at the top of the page was the result. The picture of a young Japanese boy with a gapped toothed smile and kind beetle black eyes in a school uniform was first in the line.  _ ‘Kenta Himura, age seventeen, one of the four victims of the most recent gang violence.’  _ Raph didn’t bother reading the rest. 

“No,” he begged. “Please,” the screen fell from his shaking fingers, landing on the floor with a muted crash. 

The pain had returned, the tearing just as sharp as ever. 

Sinking back to the ground Raph lost what little composure he’d collected. To even have that shred of hope, that spark get put out was worse than the numb disbelief. It was real now. 

Kenta was gone. 

Half curled in the fetal position, back against the couch, he felt a warm body press next to him. 

Not caring who it was Raph pressed his head against their arm, sobbing only ever harder. 

“What do we do?” Mikey whispered from a million miles away. 

“There is nothing to do but comfort.”

Raphael tuned out the world.   
  
The only thing that was real, the only thing that existed was the pain, the never-ending stabbing in his heart. 

Kenta had been a friend. They had grown close. Raph was sure the feelings he experienced were fake or imagined. But here, faced with the reality of never seeing that goofy grin again, to never feel his hand curl lazily around his, he knew every emotion had been real.

He’d loved him. He was sure. 

It wasn’t the reason he wanted the child, was it?

The tears came faster, confusion mixing with the chasm of loss. 

An arm curled around him, a hand at his other arm. Raph didn’t care, didn’t notice. 

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before he was properly dried out. A hand pressed a water bottle into his fingers before he could even ask for it. Without so much as a 'thank you' he drained the full thing. 

“Raph?”

He didn’t answer.

“I, I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

“I shouldn’t have yelled. I didn’t know who you were looking for.”

Raph looked up. It was Leo who spoke, Leo who’d held him as he mourned. On the other side of him, Mikey pressed a hand to his arm. Donny sat at his feet. He held another water bottle, holding his hand out to take the empty one. 

Swallowing his mixed emotions Raph shrugged. “It’s fine. You were right. I was stupid.”

“What can we do?”

“I have to go,” the words left his mouth without permission. It’d been all he could think about. 

“What?” Mikey yelped. 

Leo was shaking his head. “We won’t make you go. I was mad when I said it. You can stay.”

“No,” Raph took a deep breath. “It’s not about that. It’s… I need time to think. I’ll go up to my house, get everything set up. It’ll give me time to come to terms.”

“But,” Leo bit his lip. “Donny?”

“You really shouldn’t be doing any hard work,” Donny tried. 

Nodding quickly Mikey took his side. 

“I’ll be careful,” Raph’s voice was still flat, but determined. “I have your phone number. I’ll have the path through the sewers. I checked. It’s a couple hours away. The mainline inland will take you straight there. There’s an opening just outside the gated community.”

“Hold on,” Leo moved back, looking him directly in the eyes. “Raph.”

“I need time to think,” he said again. “I need air, to be above ground a while. I need to be alone.”

The turtles glanced at each other, each worried. 

Leo accepted first. “You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.” Raph sat up. 

“How can we help?”

“Leo!” Donny admonished. 

Jabbing him with his elbow Leo glared at him, determined. He turned his gaze on Mikey who slowly deflated and nodded. 

“How can we help?” Mikey echoed. 

“I’ll get my stuff packed up,” Raph said. “Could I borrow the little go-cart, Donny? I’d rather not walk the mainline.”

“Of course,” Donny said, finally giving in. “I’ll modify it, make sure it’ll fit through the tunnel.”

“Thanks.”

Splinter watched his boys with a swelling sense of pride. Even in Raphael’s pain, they stood by him. He watched them arrange everything, making sure they could stay in contact, making sure he would be safe alone, making sure the baby would be well. 

Raph stood with help, still disheveled and utterly miserable. “I’ll leave in the morning. I, I want to go to the cemetery before I go. I have to see him- I have to see it.”

“Do you want us to go with you?” Mikey asked. 

“No."

He wandered back to his bed a short time afterward, closing the door behind him. He knew he wouldn’t sleep. Packing through the night his thought plagued him. 

The morning came on slowly, giving him enough time to collect very article he possessed, clothes, books, electronics. 

It took only a few minutes before he decided to leave Mikey’s iPod and headphones on the kitchen table. He could get his own when his thoughts weren’t so loud.

He cleaned off the couch he’d made his bed not once but twice during this pregnancy. 

“ _Hgn_ ,” Raph paused in the hallway, his arms full of the last of his things, on his last trip to his bedroom. "Ow."

Pressing his free hand to his side he tried to soothe the wriggling child.

“Calm down,” he whispered down to them. “You’re fine. I’m…” he stopped, making his way to his room. 

He didn’t just want them because of Kenta. There was more to it. There really was. Wasn’t there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not quite done with the angst but agh, it hurts to do. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for your support!


	16. Chapter Sixteen

The sewer home became much quieter once Raph left. While he’d meant to get out early in the morning he couldn’t escape until later in the afternoon, his brothers, and sensei triple-checking he had everything he needed. 

Half-hearted hugs and farewells had been exchanged. Then he was gone. 

“How long did he say he’d be gone again?” Mikey watched the faint glow of the little buggy vanish into the sewer line.

“He didn’t,” Leo said. 

Donny shifted from foot to foot. “He’ll come back soon. He’s having the baby here.”

“That’s still seven weeks.”

“He’ll be back long before that.”

“Right,” Mikey watched the tunnel still. All three stayed still, even long after the lights had gone. 

It wasn’t like they had things to do. There were projects, there were things to keep them busy. But as time moved on even the projects couldn’t distract. 

One week passed. 

Then two.

By week three nerves had risen. 

Mikey took a stint on the couch, fidgeting every time any faint sound came through the tunnels. 

“Are you going to actually sleep in your bed tonight?” Leo asked, staying on the other couch, even after the movie had ended.

“No,” Mikey watched the door. “I want to be here just in case-”

“In case Raph comes back,” Donny said, still on his chair. “I know.”

“I’m sure he’s fine,” Leo said.

All three stayed where they were, eyes on the door. 

“How about we make it a campout?” Donny offered weakly. “Only for tonight of course.”

Mikey smiled weakly. “Yeah, yeah, that’d be great.”

“Do you want to go get some blankets?” Leo stood. 

“Um, yeah,” Mikey took his eyes off the door. “I can do that.”

Gathered on the couches and armchairs their campout stretched out into the morning. Breakfast and training occurred like normal. But as night rolled back around the ‘camp out’ continued.

One night.

Then two.

Night three each brother settled in their temporary beds, all quiet. With weapons and leather straps all on the table, each looked underdressed. Mikey had even found a loose-fitting blue robe, covered with superman’s golden  _ S _ .

Donny yawned, leaning back in his armchair. He pulled up his blanket over himself, his 

“How long are we going to be out here?” Leo asked, standing by the couch.

“You’re welcome to go back to your room whenever you want,” Mikey pointed out. 

Leo opened and shut his mouth several times. “I know.”

“So?”

Leo settled onto his couch, quiet. 

“That’s what I thought,” Mikey mumbled. 

They watched the door, listening all the while for any sign of the buggy. 

“I put an alarm up,” Donny offered. “A little ways down the tunnel. If anything comes through we’ll know.”

Leo shifted in his seat, resting his chin in his hands.

“Come on!” Mikey jumped up, his agitation spiking out of nowhere. He leaped over the back of the couch, arms crossed firmly. “I hate waiting for things!”

Donny and Leo sat up, watching him pace back and forth in front of the kitchen. 

“How much longer is he going to be gone anyway?” Mikey cried. “It’s been forever!”

“Three and a half weeks is not forever.” Raph rolled his eyes, stepping through the doorway. 

“Raph!”

“You’re back!” Mikey ran back, hugging him tightly. 

“Careful,” Raph let himself be hugged, struggling to get himself out. “You’ll squish the baby.”

Mikey held his brother at arm's length, looking him up and down. 

Raph was, there was no other word for it, glowing. Long wild hair pulled up and face bright he relaxed. Wearing a large jacket with his own name stitched on the pocket he had a pair of jeans that actually looked like they fit. His middle had swelled even more in his time gone, leaving him leaning back, hand in his pocket if only to keep his balance. 

“I am so glad you’re back!” Mikey hugged him tight again. “You took forever so I thought you never would and, and...”

“Breathe, Mikey,” Raph held up his hands. 

Donny came up behind him, a hand on his shoulder. “You look better.”

“I,” Raph smiled weakly. “I feel better.”

“Why were you gone so long?” Mikey demanded, arms crossed. 

Rubbing the back of his neck he shifted from foot to foot. “I had a tough time coming to terms. Finally, being by myself was worse than anything else. It took longer than I thought it would so… I’m back.”

“After three and a half weeks?” Leo came up behind them, struggling to keep the bitterness from his voice. 

Raph’s face turned red. “I’ve been back for a couple of days actually. I was just with April, she wanted to know everything and-”

“You made up with April then,” Donny cut in, shooting a scratching glance at Leo. “That’s good.”

Taking the heavy duffle bag from his shoulder Raph grunted. “Yeah. She was really nice about everything too, managed to convince me to go baby shopping. I’m sure they’ve got more stuff than I do now.”

“Speaking of-!” Mikey stepped forward, bouncing. 

Leo slapped a hand over his mouth. “Speaking of; tell us about your place! Did you get everything you wanted to set up?”

“Most of it,” Raph moved to set down his bag, Donny swinging it over his shoulder and leading the way to the chairs. “My bosses had a list set up for me, told me to make myself at home. I told them when I’d be starting-”

“Which will be when?” Mikey pushed Leo off of him, taking his chair again. 

“After the snow melts preferably,” Raph rubbed his shoulder. “But I said March first.” He took off his coat and set it over the back of the couch. “That’ll give me a couple of months with the baby and everything.”

Mikey’s jaw dropped. “Raph you got huge.”

“Gee thanks.”

Donny took the coat. “Your stomach dropped.”

“I noticed,” Raph’s already sour face turned flat. “My balance has been shot to hell. On the bright side, I can breathe again.”

“What does dropped mean?” Mikey asked. 

Raph turned to the side, his stomach hanging far lower. “The kid finally flipped over, getting ready for,” he tapped his leg nervously. “The birth.”

“Speaking of do you have a plan for that yet?”

“Do I have to have a plan?” Raph’s nerves rose. “I mean these things tend to just kind of happen.”

Donny stayed by the couch, arms crossed.”Raph-”

“All the baby stuff. Is anyone actually happy to see  _ me _ ?” Raph cut across him.

“Of course we are,” Leo took his own seat, letting out a low breath. He managed a smile. “You had us worried is all. We didn’t expect you to be gone for so long.”

Raph crossed his arms tightly, face falling. “Yeah, I didn’t expect myself to be gone that long either. Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Mikey stood, swinging an arm around his shoulders. “You’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

Raph smiled, a warmth settling somewhere under his ribcage. 

Mikey looked between his brothers, hands over Raph’s ear. “Can we tell him now, please?”

“What?” Raph pushed the hands off. “What’s going on?”

Donny rolled his eyes. “Mikey, shut up.”

“Please?” He clasped his hands together. “Please, oh please, oh please?”

Leo stood, giving in. “Fine.”

“Is everything okay?” Raph asked, utterly confused.

Mikey took his arm, grinning. “You’re going to love this.” Pulling him down the hall his grin growing ever faster. “Come on!”

“What in the-” Raph glanced back to Leo and Donny. “Mikey, you’re going to knock me over!”

“Come on!” Mikey pushed everyone down the hall. Bouncing on his heels Mikey stopped outside Raph's bedroom door.  "Just wait until you see this!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to CathInTheBox. I was worried no one was even reading this one anymore. Your comments mean so much to me. Thank you!
> 
> I love to reply to any and all comments. Don't be afraid to even just say hi :)


	17. Chapter Seventeen

"What did you do to my room?" Raph glared shrewdly at Mikey, stopped in front of the door. 

"Relax," Leo put a hand on his shoulder. "And keep an open mind. I'm pretty sure Mikey didn't sleep for a week getting this put together."

"Okay," Raph pushed past them into his room. "What is all this... about?" His voice failed on the last word. 

Inside which had once been a cement mess covered in tattered album posters was now a carpeted, painted and insulated paradise. 

Above him, soft lighting had replaced the harsh LED's. His broken bed frame had been switched with one far sturdier and a comfortable mattress. The covers were neatly tucked forest green, soft blankets folded at the foot.

"Guys, what's all this for?" Raph moved to turn when he saw the other half of the room. "Oh," he covered his mouth, emotions bubbling up.

The wall had been papered with a pale green, covered in tiny cartoon turtles. In the corner a nice wooden crib sat, toys and blankets sat, artfully arranged. The changing table had all drawers open, clothes from newborn to toddler were folded up. The others held toys, blankets, food, and bottles.

Next to the bed was a plush rocking chair. 

Atop the bedside table was a decent collection of books, all with cute titles; bedtime stories. 

The carpet below his feet was lush, bright green in pursuit of a loose forested look.

"When did you get all this stuff?" Raph kept emotion under wraps. 

"We've been getting it for ages!" Mikey was grinning brightly.

"Mikey has been buying toys since he found out about the baby," Leo chuckled.

"Only a couple things," Mikey said sheepishly. 

Donny stood in the doorway. "And then after we did the baby shopping all three of us started collecting stuff. Your kid should have enough clothes and toys until they're a teenager."

Touched beyond words Raph nodded. "Thanks, you guys. This is... This is awesome."

"Wait!" Mikey reached behind the changing table.

"That's not everything. We got a couple of things for the walls."

Raph, having picked up a small teddy bear from the crib, paused. "What do you mean?"

Mikey grinned and held out a framed picture about the size of a paperback book. In the wood frame was a digitally enhanced picture of Raph, newly human, his curly hair short and his grin wild, a boy throwing his arm around his shoulders. 

Taking it with a shaking hand Raph held tight to it, the teddy bear falling on the ground. Standing beside him was a tall Japanese boy in a tatty denim jacket. Even in the small picture, you could see how the two boys leaned into each other, hips brushing and grins wide. 

Unable to form words Raph moved back, sitting on the bed, a hand pressed over his mouth. 

"Where... but... how?"

"I found it on Facebook, it was kind of in the background of another one. There were a lot of school photos of him. But we thought," Donny paused, trying to find the words. 

"We thought," Leo picked up the sentence. "If you wanted to tell your kid about their other parent you'd want a good photo."

Tears were spilling down Raph's cheeks before he knew they were there. 

"Raph?" Mikey stood in front of him, twisting his fingers. "You're not mad are you?"

A laugh bubbles through the suppressed sobs. "No," Raph wiped quickly at his face. "No. I am so not mad. I didn't expect, I didn't think," he couldn't speak, shoulders shaking as the tears poured faster. 

An arm curled around his shoulders. Taking several deep breaths Raph wiped the stray tears from the photo, standing to put it on the dresser. "Thank you," he said finally. "For, for the photo, for this room. It's amazing. I'm sorry I'm so... I'm all over the place."

"You just lost someone you were really close to." Leo brushed off the excuse. "And it probably doesn't help that you're nine months pregnant."

Ignoring the last comment Raph steeled himself.

“I didn’t love him,” he said finally. 

There was a quiet pause, all in the room listening carefully. All were terrified if they breathed the story would stop. 

“We were friends," Raph continued, his back to his brothers. He stared intently at the photo, speaking more to himself than to the group at large. Taking a slow deep breath he pressed on. "We… messed around. I thought that meant love. It wasn’t. I was just trying to fill a void. Loneliness drives people to do stupid things.”

“Loneliness?” Mikey asked. 

The others glared at him. Though the question only drove Raph's mindless monologue onward. 

“I was freshly human, not used to being on my own. April and Casey worked so I was just left to my own devices.” Raph brushed the photo. "This picture was actually... I'm pretty sure it was the day we met. It was about a month before," he rested a hand over his stomach. "Well, you see how that turned out."

"Do you..." Mikey chose his words carefully for the first time in his life. "Would you be okay to tell us about him?"

Raph forced himself to take yet another steadying breath and nodded once, turning to face them finally. "No. I don't mind. You should know." He put out a hand, lowering himself to his bed, legs crossed below him. 

"You don't have to," Donny countered quickly. "We won't force you."

"I know," Raph examined his clenched hands. "But you deserve to know and maybe, maybe if I talk it can help me accept it all, move on."

His brothers gathered around, settling beside him or in his rocking chair. Mikey took a cross-legged stint on the floor, staring up at his brother. 

Swallowing back emotion Raph began.

"His name was Kenta Himura. I met him in central park. It was a few days after I'd been turned human."

Having never been one for storytelling Raph painted the scene surprisingly well, telling of his time in central park.

“It was later in the evening. I was still getting used to being able to, to walk around during the day like normal. I don’t like being around a bunch of people. It was still really warm and I was going through one of the quieter sides of the park,” his voice was soft, his gaze still downcast. 

“I didn’t really notice him. We bumped into each other, just a light thing. Or it would have been if Gunner hadn’t flipped out.”

Mikey settled down. “Flipped out?”

“He pushed me to the ground,” Raph snorted, going back into his story. “Demanded what I was doing and I think he might’ve punched me into the dirt until Ken stepped in.” His face was slowly turning from a light pink to a dark red. “He stopped Gunner, told him to go away...”


	18. Chapter Eighteen

_ Leaning over, dark hair falling into slanted dark eyes he held out a hand. “Sorry about Gun. He’s kind of a jackass.” _

_ “Whatever,” Raph stood, ignoring the offered hand, trying to push past him. _

_ “Let me make it up to you,” he flashed a grin, catching his arm, walking backward to keep pace. He was very tall, well over six feet, though his gaze made Raph feel two inches tall.  _

_ Unfamiliar with the new lump welling in his chest Raph paused. “Sure. I guess.” _

_ “Awesome,” the boy took his hand, moving to shake it, pulling Raph closer. “Kenta Himura. And you are?” _

_ “Raphael,” he stuttered. Why was his face so warm? _

_ Ken dropped his hand, putting both hands into the pockets of his denim jacket. His gaze flashed across the bandana on Raph’s brow. “You out here with your girl?” _

_ “Don’t have one.” Raph had stopped, shifting, unsure what to do with himself.  _

_ “Seems unlikely,” Ken turned him around, an arm over his new friend’s shoulder.  _

_ Stuttering a moment Raph gratefully let himself be interrupted.  _

_ “In any case,” Ken took over, leading him to an empty picnic table. “Buddy of mine is having a birthday. You like cake or pie?” _

_ Raph shrugged one shoulder, not looking at Ken. “Not a big fan of either.” _

_ Pausing a short ways away from the table he put a hand on his hip. “Dude. You’re either really dumb or really oblivious. Which way you swing?” _

_ “I… what?” _

 

Raph put his head in his hands, unable to stop his silent laughter. 

“I don’t get it,” Mikey looked between his other brothers. “What does that mean?”

“He was asking Raph if he was gay,” Donny said delicately. 

Still laughing Raph laid his head back against the wall. “I had no idea what he was talking about either. Ken gave up for then, asking me stuff about where I was from, about my family. Then he um, he gave me his number.”

Taking his wallet from his pocket Raph offered them a tiny piece of green paper, the back of a Chinese menu. 

_ ‘Call me ;)’ _ was emblazoned clearly in sharpie with a phone number below. 

“It wasn’t until I showed April and she assumed I’d gotten it from a girl did I realize was going on.”

Mikey, embarrassed, tried to get a hold of his words. “When I asked you about Ken before, when we were playing games you said you didn’t like guys.”

“And that’s the truth for the most part. I don’t like anyone much. But Ken was different. He treated me differently than anyone I’d ever met. I,” Raph glanced to his brothers. “It’s because he knew things about me.”

“Meaning?”

Raph took a deep breath, diving back into his story. “We spent the rest of the day together, hanging out with friends. And when I finally summoned the courage to call him back all I got was an address. He told me to meet him there after sunset.”

 

_ Waiting under the flickering streetlamp Raph clung to the sai tucked into his belt.  _

_ “Nice of you to finally make it.” _

_ Whirling around Raph brandished his weapon. Knuckles white he pressed the blunt blade under Ken’s chin.  _

_ “Hell dude,” Ken’s eyes glittered. “Not the kind of date I was expecting. But I can dig it.” _

_ That new lump in Raph’s chest welled. He tucked the sai back under his shirt. “I don’t like waiting out in the open.” _

_ “Didn’t mean to be late,” Ken bit his bottom lip. “I got held up by a friend. Sorry for all the dramatics. I wanted to get you alone for five minutes.” _

_ “Why?” Raph eyed him.  _

_ Curling an arm around his Ken pulled him from the street lamp. “I wanted to talk where we couldn’t be overheard.  _

_ Raph couldn’t quite find his voice, pulled too tightly next to this new person. _

_ They ducked into a side street, just out of the pale golden light. “Raphael…” he brushed the end of the red bandana through his fingers. “That’s an odd name you know.” _

_ “So I’ve been told.” _

_ Ken’s face was too close now, his breath wafting across his cheek. “My parents know a guy by that name. Though that guy couldn’t be you. For one, that guy has three brothers,” his voice was dangerously soft. “And you said you’re an only child.” _

_ His heart thumped ever harder. “Three brothers?” Raph was shaking his head. “I, I don’t-” _

_ “Don’t lie to me,” Ken had an arm on the wall next to his head. Their faces were too close.  _

_ “Why does it matter if I’ve got brothers?” Raph couldn’t move. His knees were turning to jelly.  _

_ Ken’s fingers left trails of fire across his neck, pulling the bandana from his head. “Well, because, that guy, this Raphael is quite a bit different from you.” _

_ “How so?” _

_ “Well for one they live underground,” he spoke, voice dangerously low. “They’re all seven feet tall and they’re all green.” _

_ “Green?” Raph swallowed hard. “I don’t know what you’re talking about?” _

_ Ken put a hand under his chin. “You really are just an awful liar.” _

 

“He knew about us?” Leo had turned to stone. “How? Did he tell anyone about us?”

“He didn’t tell anyone,” Raph had, oddly enough, relaxed. “I know he didn’t.”

Donny moved to sit closer. “How did he know? About us, about you?”

“His parents,” Raph met each of his brother’s eyes, steeling himself. “They were foot clan.”

The eruption of protest was just about exactly what he was expecting. 

“It is rude to interrupt!” Splinter came in the room, taking a seat in Raph’s rocking chair. “Continue Raphael. I for one would like to hear the rest.”

Caught off guard Raph did as he was told. “They were foot clan. They left, settled here once his mom got pregnant. Ken introduced me to them. They were always really nice to me. They didn’t know who I was or what I was.”

Splinter nodded once. 

“After that, I spent nearly every night with him and his friends. Ken had told them I was a new recruit.”

“Recruit?” Mikey asked. 

“Ken was in a gang,” Raph said numbly. “That’s how he, how he… he got shot by the gang on the other side of the river. He was looking for me.”

“Oh,” Mikey sat, closer, their shoulders pressed together. 

Forcing himself to stay under control Raph pressed on. “That’s it really. I spent nearly every waking moment with him. The gang had us do lookouts that first month. They thought there was someone trying to sneak in. Though we really didn’t do much ‘looking,’” his grin slid off his face and he firmly avoided Splinter’s gaze. 

“Did he know about the baby?” Donny asked. 

Raph nodded once. “I told him the minute I found out, a couple hours before you guys.”


	19. Chapter Nineteen

_ Standing in the little drug store bathroom with the pink stick in his Raph thought he might lose what little lunch he’d managed to get down.  _

_ “You comin’ out of there any time soon?” a voice on the other side of the door demanded.  _

_ “Yeah,” Raph swallowed hard. Wiping off the test he shoved it into his pocket, pushing past the store owner and out onto the street.  _

_ Outside on the curb, Ken waited, his smile flicking on as Raph returned. “Ready to go… Raph are you okay?” _

_ “We need to talk,” Raph grabbed his arms, pulling him down the road.  _

_ “We have our lookout in five minutes,” Ken stopped him. “Unless you’re going to be sick all night. You know I’ll cover for you.” _

_ Raph opened and closed his mouth several times, unable to form a sentence from his frantic thoughts.  _

_ “Take a deep breath,” Kenta pushed the ends of his tied headband off his shoulder, his fingers brushing his cheek. “You’re freaking out. Just tell me what’s going on.” _

_ Glancing around Raph pulled him from the bustle of street traffic and into an emptier alley. “Ken, you know how we’ve been, been, alone a lot lately?” _

_ Kenta’s grin was sly. “Don’t I ever.” _

_ “And how I’ve been getting sick a lot?” _

_ His face turned white. “I swear I did not give you any-” _

_ “It’s not an STD,” Raph stopped him. He didn’t know how to tell him, or even if he should. _

_ Kenta wound his fingers through Raph’s. “What’s going on?” _

_ “I think,” he pulled the test from his pocket. “I, I don’t know how. It must be from what made me human... But I think I’m pregnant.” _

 

He didn’t say anything for so long,” Raph stared at his clasped hands. “I thought he might yell at me, or just snap, tell me I crazy.” His smile was soft. “But he was just so calm.”

 

_ “If I knew that was an option I would’ve bought more condoms,” Kenta laughed softly.  _

_ “This isn’t a joke,” Raph looked up at him desperately. “It must be something to do with how I became human. I didn’t know this could happen and I don’t even know if I can do it!” _

_ “Hey,” Kenta cradled his cheek in his palm. “I know it’s not a joke. You’re not the kind.” Pressing a gentle kiss to his lips Kenta rested his forehead against Raph’s. _

_ “What do I do?”  _

_ “Do whatever you need to. You said your roommates know about you right? Talk with them, see if you can find a doctor to help, to get rid of it.” _

_ Raph nodded once, not really understand the knot underneath his ribs. “Okay. I’ll get this taken care of.” _

_ “Do you want me to come with?” _

_ “No,” Raph crossed his arms tightly, pulling closer to him, chin on Ken’s shoulder. “No. I can do this myself.” He took a deep breath. “You’re really not mad at me?” _

_ “How could I be mad at you?” Kenta pulled him into a quick hug. “You didn’t know. How could you?” _

_ “I’ll be gone a while, trying to get this sorted,” he pulled back, gesturing vaguely toward his middle.  _

_ Kenta kissed his cheek again. “Take all the time you need.” _

 

Raph wiped at his eyes quickly. “I ended up going to him for all the pills and things I needed. He said he was okay with it but he tended to avoid me. His parents took him to Japan for about a week before April and I fought.”

“It sounds like he wasn’t too keen on the idea,” Donny said delicately. 

“Neither of us knew if I was even capable of carrying the baby to term. He assumed I was going to have an abortion,” Raph shrugged it off. “We never really talked about keeping the baby. We, he was still sixteen. So I wrote it off, said I was getting it all for an imaginary girlfriend. Gunner believed me.”

“Did he ever find out you were keeping them?” Splinter asked, listening intently. 

“I left him a note, put it in his window just after April and I fought.”

“What did it say?” Mikey’s voice was hardly above a whisper. 

“Something about how my roommate wouldn’t let me get rid of it. How I was putting them up for adoption and how I was staying with someone else until I’d had the kid and that… that I wouldn’t be coming back.” Raph sat straighter. “He didn’t quit looking for me. I don’t know what his parents thought. I haven’t been able to find them. They must’ve gone back to Japan.”

“I am so very sorry, my son,” Splinter stood, placing a hand on his leg. “You have been through a great deal.”

Raph’s eyes were dry. “Thank you Sensei. But, I'll be okay. The kid is due in less than three weeks. I’m sure I’ll have a lot more to deal with.”

“Speaking of…” Donny said. “Have you decided where?”

“Where I’m having the baby?” Raph raised an eyebrow. “Here of course. That’s always been the plan. I’ll be staying here until spring.”

Mikey bounced a little. “So you’re staying for Christmas?”

“I’ll always be here for Christmas,” Raph’s smile grew. “Besides, it’s my due date.”

“Yes!” Mikey jumped up. “Three weeks until Christmas! And three weeks until I get the best Christmas present in the world!”

Donny smiled at his brother's antics, standing up. "This calls for celebration then."

"Can we get the tree now?" Mikey lit up. "Please?"

"And gingerbread?" Raph chimed in.

Leo held a hand to help him to his feet. "You hate gingerbread."

"They don't," Raph snorted. "That and I actually took a bus to town to get a burger last week. The kid is turning me into a parade balloon." He pressed his hands to his back. His usual disgruntled nature seemed to have melted away in his storytelling, a weight finally lifting. 

Mikey swung an arm over Raph's shoulders. "We really get to keep you until spring this time? No more running away?"

"Cross my heart," Raph managed a grin. 

Mikey pulled him down the hall, brothers following after. 

Left in the room alone Splinter stood from the rocking chair, picking up the small framed picture. "Oh my son," he examined the smiling boys in the picture. That one image that held such joy before the fall. 

"How much you have grown... gone through so many things I doubt your brothers may ever know." He placed the photo carefully back down on the table.

"Splinter?" Donny leaned back into the room. "Are you coming Sensei?"

"Of course," he turned back, summoning a smile. "I would not miss this celebration for the world."

Raph didn't even make it back to the newly renovated bedroom before his waning energy flagged. While he couldn't exactly curl up on his designated couch he did lie down, unconscious before he could give any warning.

Mikey glanced back at him, slapping Donny's arm. "Guys, quiet," he hissed. 

Leo lifted himself from the floor where he'd been situating lights. "What's going- oh."

"It's a wonder he lasted this long," Donny placed another ornament on the hastily cut pine. 

"Why's that?" Mikey sat down to help Leo. 

"You can't guess?"

Mikey dropped his chin in his hand. "Yeah. I can. But still. It's Raph. Before last month I don't think I ever saw him sleep, let alone take a nap."

"The only time he was unconscious is if we knocked him out," Leo agreed. "Ha!" The lights on the tree finally flicked on. 

Donny sat next to them, leaning against the wall.

"I remember."

"You think it's because of the baby or because he's..." Mikey paused.

"Human?" Leo dropped his voice. 

Pulling his knees to his chest Mikey nodded once. 

"You okay?" 

Mikey took a shuddering breath. "Yeah. I mean, I know it's Raph. But it doesn't, he doesn't look like himself. He doesn't even act like himself anymore." His voice wavered. 

Leo put an arm around his shoulders. 

Mikey dropped his head. "I'm sorry.  I know it sounds dumb."

"It's not," Donny defended. "It isn't dumb. I know what you mean."

Mikey looked up, eyes brimming with tears. "Really?"

Donny nodded. "It's not just physical. He's calmer than he was, more controlled."

Leo let out a small breath. "He grew up."


	20. Chapter Twenty

"He grew up."

"What do you mean?" Mikey wiped his face of tears. 

"Raph was faced with this life-changing thing. He could've fallen further into the gang, had the kid removed, blamed Ken for everything..." Leo spoke slowly, realizing what he was saying as it came out of his mouth. "But he didn't. He forced himself to stop being angry. That's why he's so different now. He's letting himself be happy."

The three brothers watched the sleeping form on the couch. 

"Wasn't he happy before?" Mikey asked. 

Leo spoke slowly. "You know how much Raph wanted to be a part of the world. He struggled with staying in the shadows. Why do you think he was so angry?"

"Oh," Mikey swallowed. "I never realized. I thought it was cool to be us."

"We're different," Donny rubbed his arm. "You know we are."

"But now... he's the one who's different now," Mikey gestured to his sleeping brother. "He's with us but he's the odd one out here. He’s human he's smaller he's-"

"Still family," Leo said firmly. "And so is his baby. And with them, he's not alone because they're going to be human too." 

They waited, still watching. 

Across from them, Raph shifted, face scrunching if, for only a moment, his hand pressed to his stomach. Still as stone for only a second before relaxing, a half-smile spreading. 

"And to think I've been calling him little bro," Mikey laughed lightly. 

"He told you not to."

"So?" Mikey giggled. 

Donny stood with a sigh. "Let's just finish this tree. This will not be like last year."

"It only took a week," Mikey said meekly. 

"Because you refused to put the star on until everything else was up and then you lost it!" Leo snatched up the star. "I am putting it on now!"

"No!"

Donny held onto Mikey as Leo reached up.

"Come on guys!" Mikey swiped at him. "I was gonna let Raph put it on."

"I can't reach," Raph said, stopping them all in their tracks. "Besides," he yawned. "I'd knock the tree over."

Mikey snorted even as Leo placed the star on top. Brushing tree sap off his fingers Leo caught Raph’s gaze. There was too much knowing for him not to have heard at least a chunk of the conversation. 

Raph shrugged one shoulder, the corner of his mouth lifting.   
  
Had Leo really been that accurate? Toeing Raph’s legs off the couch he took a seat. “So…” he began slowly, rubbing the back of his neck.   
  
“I heard it all,” Raph didn’t protest the shifting he’d been forced to do. “Something about how I’m happy and, and still part of the family?”  
  
“All true,” Leo offered him a weak smile. 

“Thanks,” Raph set his elbows on his knees, unable to properly lean over.   
  
They watched the tree for a few moments, Mikey dancing around it, trying to get all ornaments in the right spot. 

“And you heard what Mikey said?”  
  
Raph’s face fell a fraction. “About how I’m different?”

The silence was all the answer he needed. 

“Yeah, I heard it,” he leaned back. “I know I’m not the same, in just about every sense. There are some days where I don’t really recognize myself, especially now,” he snorted, a hand on his stomach. “But then, I mean, now I wouldn’t change this for the world. The things that happened... you hit the nail on the head, I grew up. I was so tired of being angry,” Raph dropped his head back. 

“So you  _ are _ happy?”

Eyes closed, the smile spread across his face. “Yeah. I really am. Happier than I ever imagined I could be.”  
  
“Good,” Leo bumped his shoulder. “You deserve it.”  
  


* * *

  
“And that would be everything,” Donny sat back. “You are set.”  
  
“Which means?” Raph sat up slowly, wincing. 

Donny gave him a slight grin. “Well, from what I can tell you are ready to go into labor any day now.”

Mikey bounced on his chair, having insisted on being in the room, though having gotten bored just like the others had known he would. “Awesome!”

Raph opened his mouth, jaw slack. “Really? But I have three weeks left.”

“Two weeks and two days actually,” Mikey said. 

Both shot him a glance. 

“It’s christmas,” Mikey grinned. “I’ve got a countdown. Duh. And this time it’s going to be even better because there’s going to be a baby.”

Donny shot Raph a glance. “You heard him. Two weeks and two days. Sixteen days isn’t even considered to be abnormally early. Besides, Mucus plug is out-”  
  
Mikey gagged.  
  
"Head is down, you know how to check dilation, and you're both perfectly healthy."

“Yeah, I know,” Raph said slowly, nerves rising. 

“Surely you must’ve started seeing the signs right? I mean, minor braxton hicks at best?”

“A few.”

“What’s a braxter hick?” Mikey glanced between them.

Raph snorted. 

“Braxton Hicks,” Donny said clearly.  
  
“And in english that means?” Mikey swung around to face Raph. 

“Practice labor,” Raph said. “It’s like a fist around your insides.”

“Bleh,” Mikey flinched. 

“Accurate.”

Donny frowned. “Have they really been that bad?”

“Kind of,” Raph pulled down the hem of his shirt, fighting a losing battle. “I just wasn’t expecting them.”  
  
“When did it first start?”

He swallowed hard, staring at his clenched hands. “When I went to see Ken’s grave."

 

_ Snow falling around him. Too peaceful for the war going on underneath his ribs. It was almost too easy to find the spot. Brand new; just a simple gray headstone.  _

_ Brushing off the cap of white he cleaned every flake from his name.  _

_ 'Kenta Himura' his birthday, the day he died. His fingers trembled on the last date.  _

_ "That's the first day the baby kicked Ken," Raph whispered. "They knew before I did." He dropped his forehead against the icy stone.  _

_ 'Only the good die young'  _

_ Why had his parents chosen that? That had left any other messages. It didn't say who he was survived by, whether he'd had other family.  _

_ "Survived by a traitorus boyfriend and bastard child," Raphael, crossed his arms tight around his middle, insides twisting. For a long moment he thought the ache came from emotions.  _

_ "Agh," Raph pressed a hand to the underside of his stomach. "Stop." _

_ Shrinking to the snow. His hand curled in the frozen mud.  _

_ He couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. There was only that horrible cramping pain, physical and one so much deep, constricting his heart.  _

 

"Raph?"

"Hmm?" He looked back up at his brother, pulled from his thoughts. "Oh, it was just. I just started feeling the contractions. I was only there a few minutes before they stopped. I thought it might've been the real thing."

Donny winced. “That sounds terrible.”

Raph stood with difficulty. “Not great, no. But it wasn’t, kid is still doing their best to break my ribs.” He stretched slowly. “Anything else I should know?”

“You know the drill with phantom labor?” Donny asked. “About how to distinguish it from real labor?”

“I thought there wasn’t a way.”

“There really isn’t, but to get them to stop just get a glass of water, put your feet up and they should go away pretty quickly,” Donny turned, rooting through a drawer quickly. “And the real thing should come pretty regularly, lasting a few seconds and a few minutes between them. When it starts just I’ll just flip this on,” he showed him a small handheld timer. “If it looks like it might be on a schedule we’ll know it’s go time.”

Raph took the plastic in hand, fingers trembling. 

Mikey slung an arm around his shoulder. “You’ve got this,” he grinned. “You are going to be a rocking dad, or is it mom?” He leapt away from the half-hearted punch thrown. 

“Quit that,” Raph called after him. 

“Never!” Mikey shot him a thumbs up. 

He sighed loudly.

“Really though,” Donny stood next to him. “You’re going to do great. You’ve finally got a birth plan.”

“Pacing up and down my room doesn’t count as a plan. Besides, you forced me.”

Donny rolled his eyes. “I meant you know what’s going to happen if anything goes wrong. Which it won’t.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“I’ve triple checked everything Raph. You are ready for this.”

Raph nodded, unable to find a way around the lump in his throat. 

“Just take it easy the next couple weeks.”  
  
“My least favorite phrase.” Raph snorted. 

Donny flipped off the lights in his lab. “Don’t I know it. But that’s all that we can really do now. Unless you want to start trying to induce it we’re sitting on a waiting game.”  
  
“It’d be something to do at least,” Raph mumbled. 

“Really?” Donny raised what should’ve been an eyebrow. “You want to try and get the ball rolling?”

“I,” Raph paused. “As long as it’s all safe.”

“One hundred percent. I’m pretty sure half the list is wives' tales anyway.”

Raph nodded, sifting through his thoughts. “All right. Get me that list. I am so done being pregnant.”

Donny went back into his room, leaving Raph to make his way back down to the living room. 

He paused in the doorway, his hand starfished across his middle. He couldn’t even find the words. But soon, he was unsure how soon but soon, he was going to have his baby. 

“Let’s get this show on the road shall we?” he whispered. 


	21. Chapter Twenty One

Raph sat on the couch, feet up on the coffee table, holding a cup loosely in one hand. 

“Sup,” Mikey leaned over the couch, chin in his hand.    
  
“Morning,” Raph mumbled, sipping his drink. 

“Orange juice?” Mikey snatched the cup away “Awesome!”

"You're not gonna like it." Raph snorted.

"Yeah right," Mikey swallowed half the glass, lips puckered. "Ew, ew, ew," he gagged. "What was that?"

"Straight pineapple juice," Raph grinned, reaching to snatch the glass back. "I added some lemon too."

"Why?"

"Part of Donny's list."

"Liss?" Mikey still had his tongue stuck out. 

Raph settled back in his chair. "Yeah. The ways to induce."

"Induce... labor?" Mikey brightened. "Really? You're going to try it?"

Raph bit his cheek. "Yeah. I thought it would, I mean the kid is definitely big enough,” he crossed his hands over his middle. “That and I’m  _ really _ sick of being pregnant.”

With a tiny grin Mikey hopped up to sit on the back of the chair. “Why?”

Raph raised an eyebrow. "You want the full list or a highlight reel?"

Wincing Mikey sat next to his brother. "That bad?"

"Well," Raph considered. "It's not the worst. But yeah, it's kind of the worst."

"Can I help?" 

"Help?"

"Yeah!" Mikey grinned wide enough to crack his face. "Yeah, get the stuff you need and everything. I wanna see my nibbling."

"Sure," Raph shrugged. "Why not?"   
  
Jumping up Mikey rubbed his hands. “Okay! Where do we start?”   
  
With a grunt Raph leaned over, scooping up the list from the table. “There are a bunch of food ones, which is great because this kid eats like a monster.”

“Foods like?” Mikey headed to the kitchen, opening up cupboards. 

“Spicy things, a couple of kinds of tea and something called castor oil?”

“Okay?”Mikey pulled hot sauce out of the fridge, picking through some frozen foods. “I think Donny has some tea hidden away. But I’ve never heard of castor oil.”

“We can skip it,” Raph tried to push himself up from the couch. “Oh, come on,” he muttered. With colossal effort, he heaved himself about an inch off the couch. 

Suppressing his laugh Mikey returned, a hand outstretched. "Having troubles?" he asked innocently. 

"Shut it," Raph grumped, taking the extended hand. "You try carrying around a bowling ball above your belt."  
  
“An adorable bowling ball,” Mikey bat his eyelashes. 

Grunting as he was heaved up Raph dug his knuckles into his sides, kneading slowly. “Not adorable yet. Just heavy.”

Mikey headed back to the kitchen his expression measured. He crouched, digging through the fridge.

“Are you thinking salsa, tacos or jalapeno poppers?”

“Tacos sound good. Onion makes me sick lately,” Raph took the short walk to the kitchen, hating how even that could give him pause, force him to stop and catch his breath. Stifling a groan he lowered himself down into a creaky dining chair. 

“Tacos it is,” Mikey picked through the drawers, dragging out the tomatoes, avocados, sour cream, cheese and three different kinds of hot sauce. “Cut these?” He offered his brother a knife.

“Do you usually put the child-bearers to work?” Raph raised an eyebrow, flipping the blade between his fingers for a moment. 

Mikey stuck out his tongue. “It’s the only job you can do sitting down.”

Souring Raph went to work. “I can’t wait until I can move around again.”

After another moment Mikey set down the last of the spices. “Here we are, more spices than you can shake a stick at. And we have no taco shells, burritos sound okay?”

Raph hummed ascent, picking up the sriracha bottle. “Bet me five bucks I can drink it all?”

“No,” Mikey snorted. “You’ll burn a hole through your belly button.”

“It’d get the kid to clear out though.” Raph set the bottle down, leaning back in his seat. 

“Raph?” Mikey dropped his chin in his hand. “Is it really that bad?”

“You already asked that.”

“And this time I want a real answer. You have been unbearably grumpy the last few days-”

“Which is different to how it was before I left?”

“And,” Mikey pressed on, “I want to know why.”

“I’m the size of a whale!” Raph grouched. “I can’t sleep without heartburn or getting my ribs pummeled. Every muscle in my lower body is so sore I can hardly move. My lungs have been compressed to the size of apples. I can’t even stand up without help!” He threw his arms in the air. “So there, that’s why. Any other questions?”

“Just one,” Mikey’s face was flat. “Aren’t you excited? Like, even a little bit? You’re about to be a parent.”

Raph stopped, jaw open to protest. “Well yeah, there is that,” he mumbled. 

“Oh,” Mikey realized. “You’re scared.”

“What?” Raph turned back to half-cut vegetables. “No, no of course not why would I…” he swallowed hard. 

“Raph?”

“I’m terrified.” He set down the knife, staring blankly at the table. “Like you said I’m about to be a parent. I’m going to have a kid. I haven’t stopped reading books and blogs and anything from anyone that could give me a clue about what to do. There are so many ways I could screw this kid up. I just want to do this right.”

Mikey shook his head, laughing. 

Flushing red Raph glared. “What?”

“You. I have never seen you like this.”

“Like what?”

“Worried,” Mikey placed tortillas on the plates before him. “Second-guessing yourself. You have always been so sure of everything. Headstrong.”

“I was a stubborn ass you mean.”

“Don’t swear in front of the baby.”

“Meaning still stands.”

Mikey piled beans on top of each plate. “As does mine. It’s weird to see you like this. It’s comforting in a way.”

“Comforting?” Raph snorted. 

“I’d be worried if you _weren’t_ worried.” Mikey pulled the veggies to himself, finishing it off and dividing it on top of their food. “This is serious stuff Raph.”

“Gee thanks,” Raph pulled his plate to him, picking at the edge. 

“Relax Raph. You’re going to be an awesome dad.”

“How do you know?”

Mikey shrugged. “I know you. You always know what you’re doing. And when you don’t you know how to bullshit your way through it.”

“What was that you said about swearing in front of the baby?”

He stuck out his tongue. 

Rubbing his eyes with the base of his palms Raph suppressed a long low sigh. “I have to be grumpy. I have to or I’ll completely panic. I am not ready for this.” 

“So why go through all this trouble of trying to induce?” Mikey wrapped up his burrito. “Why not just let yourself panic and move on?”

“Because if I let myself panic I’ll never stop,” Raph followed suit. “And being this pregnant hurts. I am ready to have my body back. And if that means… having a new little body to care for,” he paused. “I’m not ready for this.”

“Take it one day at a time.” Mikey shrugged, taking a big bite.

“Wise words. Who told you that?”

“You did,” Mikey spoke through a full mouth. 

Raph paused, picking up a hot sauce bottle. “When?”

“When we first started training with weapons. Splinter gave us wooden toy ones. I sucked. After you beat me black and blue you told me to relax, practice with the dummies, then try again. One day at a time.”

“Well,” Raph dumped extra hot sauce atop the tortilla, “here's to today then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this chapter took so long but I am now back on my weekly upload schedule!


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

Twenty minutes later, sweat beading his face and a glass of milk in hand Raph dropped his head back. 

“Anything?” Mikey stifled laughter, putting the foods away. 

“Kid isn’t even kicking,” Raph swallowed the last of his milk. “I think I burned my taste buds off though.”

“No tea then?”

“Maybe later,” Raph put a hand on the underside of his belly, moving in small circles. 

“Come on, kid. Time to come out. I know you’re as stubborn as me,” he sighed, laying his head back.

Mikey placed the last of the dishes into the sink. “You talk to the baby.” It was teasing, wasn’t derisive, simply a statement. 

“Only decent person to talk to around here,” Raph mumbled. 

“Ignoring that,” Mikey clapped his hands. “Okay, what’s next on the list?”

Pulling the list from his pocket he glanced it over. “Looks like exercise. That’ll be a last resort.”

“What? Why? You’ve been fighting to get into the training room for months.”

Raph watched him, measuring the question. “Mikey, I can’t stand up without help. Walking around is one thing, stretches are fine, but can you imagine me running or even trying to go a round with a training dummy? I think my spine would explode.”

“Okay, exercise… what about that exercise ball thing?”

“What?”

“I saw it in one of those movies.”

Raph struggled to keep his smile flat. “Movies?”

“I, when I found out about the kid I watched a couple of pregnancy movies.”

“Like?”

“Besides the point,” Mikey almost looked red, despite his natural coloring. “But I kept seeing those blow-up balls, like beach balls, and Donny ordered one, he said it’d be more comfortable and… why are you laughing at me?”

“You did research all for me,” Raph slapped a hand over his heart. “It’s world-shattering really, I wasn’t sure you could read.”

Mikey gaped at him like a fish. “You’re a jerk.”

“If you know where the ball is, go get it,” he gestured his brother onward. 

“Maybe I don’t want to now.”

“Mikey,” Raph groaned. “Don’t you want to meet your brand new nibling? I’m dying here.”

“Fine,” Mikey headed back down the hall. “But I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for them.”

Rolling his eyes again Raph waited, watching amused as Mikey set down the large cardboard box.

"Here we go!" He announced. 

"That looks more cube than sphere," Raph leaned on the arm of the chair, smirking at his triumphant brother. 

"Hush your sass," Mikey stuck his tongue out, plopping himself down onto the carpet. "I just need to get it blown up. It's like a beach ball. It'll be easy.”

“For your sake, I hope so.”

Mikey snorted. “I’m serious Raph. What’s with the attitude?”

“The sharpest thing I got right now,” Raph dug his knuckles into his lower belly. 

Dumping out the box, pump, and pile of rubber, Mikey watched him. “The baby okay?”

“They haven't been as active lately,” Raph tried to keep his worry under control. “I’m sure they’re just running out of room but-” he shifted on the chair. “I’m not used to dead weight to put it plainly.”

“Are they usually active?”

“Extremely,” Raph laid down on the couch, arms under his head. “I’ll enroll them in soccer the second I can. That or let Splinter train a new ninja.”

Mikey laughed, pulling out the instructions. “They definitely got that from you. You’ve never been able to hold still.”

Raph let the comment slide off, lips pursed. Content to watch Mikey struggle with the pump he let his mind wander away, rubbing at his stomach. He couldn’t help his concern. Not feeling his usual wiggling worm was odd, and heavy. His skin itched, pink stretch marks making tiger stripes up his hips. 

His thoughts moved further away, over two hundred miles away to be exact. Raph dropped his chin in his hand, wandering the halls of his small woodland cabin, thinking of the unfinished nursery, how the blankets and toys were still boxed up. The better part of his clothes were strewn along his unmade bed. There wasn’t any food in the fridge, nothing perishable in the cupboards.

Upon his departure he’d known, the next time he set foot in the house would be with his newborn. 

Under his absently placed hand, the child in question sent up a sleepy kick. Shifting his palm to meet the blow Raph mumbled. “I know you’re running out of room in there.”

“Raph?”

Jolted from far distant thoughts Raph glanced up. “Hmm?”

“Help.” Mikey stood helplessly at the jumble of tubes before him, a string used for storage strangled around his wrist. 

“How am I supposed to know what to do?” Raph snorted, scanning the floor. “The instructions are over by the tv stand.”

Snatching it up Mikey’s brows knit. “This is in french.”

“Try the other side.”

“Oh.”

Settling himself back down Mikey examined the paper, spreading the map like creation out along the rug. 

Raph pursed his lips, pressing a hand to a small cramp in his side. 

“Are they moving again?” Mikey asked, catching the motion. 

“Little bit,” Raph shifted in his chair, tugging down the hem of his shirt. “They’re mad about the space and taking it out on my ribs.”

Not entirely true at that moment but not entirely a lie either. 

Mikey winced in sympathy. “Wait, but isn’t the baby head’s up?” He tilted his head, examining his middle like he was looking through an x-ray. “Doesn’t that make them all light-headed and dizzy? I mean, I’d be cranky too if I were upside down.”

Suppressing a derisive snort Raph shook his head. “They’re supposed to be upside down. And as much as I wish their head wasn’t pressed into my bladder they’ve got to be headfirst when they come out.”

Mikey stuck his tongue out, disgust battling his interest. “Ow?”

“Supposed to be some of the worst pain a human can feel.”

“You sure you want this?” 

“I don’t exactly have a choice at this point do I?” He answered vaguely. 

Mikey tried not to think about it, turning his attention firmly back to the exercise ball. Letting his hands work he stuck his tongue between his teeth. As much as Raph would protest it he  _ was _ weaker now. Would he be able to handle it?

“Okay,” Mikey stowed his thoughts away. “I think I’ve got this all in the right spots.” He pushed the nozzle into the rubbery mush and pushed down the pump. It really was exactly like a beach ball, pumping up until it was up to his knees. 

“Success!”

“Didn’t even need my help,” Raph feigned shock.

“Shush,” Mikey plugged the hole, placing the pump back into the ball. Pushing at it gently he grinned. “It’s done.”

“Awesome,” Raph grunted, once again forcing himself to his feet. His cramped spine was throbbing harder. He had to lean back if only to keep his balance. 

He didn’t care if this stupid ball sent him into labor. It had to be a better seat than the old couch. 

Mikey offered a hand without comment, and only a poorly hidden smirk. 

Grunting a thanks Raph held tight to his arm, lowering himself slowly to the rubber ball. 

“How is this supposed to help anyway?”

“No clue,” Raph shrugged. “Donny’s list says something about moving your hips in figure eights?”

“All I wanna do is see how far I kick it,” Mikey admitted, dropping to Raph’s vacated spot on the couch. 

“Once the kid comes out, feel free,” Raph clung to the arm of the cough for some semblance of support. Slowly he began to move in slow circles. 

Opening his mouth a couple of times Mikey finally spoke. “How long is this supposed to take?”

“Hell if I know.”

"Language."

"Leave me alone."

“Wanna play Mario?”

“I’ll watch,” Raph didn’t look up, one hand holding tight to the couch, the other atop his stomach. He pressed his lips tighter, trying to ignore the steady cramp making its way around his middle. 

Mikey didn’t catch the wince, up at the tv to collect controllers. “Are you sure? I don’t want your backseat gaming.”

“M’ good,” Raph spoke through grit teeth. 

"Whatever you say."

Raph tried to shoot him a thumbs up, unable to stop his grunt of pain. 

Whirling around Mikey eyed him. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” he tried to wave away his brother’s worry. “Just started cramping up and- shit,” he stopped, hunching over with a sharp gasp. 

“Oh my gosh!” Mikey dropped the controllers, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “Is it the baby? Are you having the baby?”

“No, I-”

“Donny!” Mikey shot down the hall, yelling at the top of his lungs. “Donny come quick! It’s Raph!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does posting cliff hangers on friday the thirteenth bring you bad luck or counteract it? Who knows. Let me know what you think :)


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There are descriptions of mildly graphic medical procedures in this chapter. Read with caution.

Scrambling quickly to his door Donny blinked out from a pair of magnifying glasses. “What’s going on?”

“I was blowing up that bouncing ball thing you bought for him and he was doing those figure eight things you said he should do. Or I guess he was doing circles, besides the point. We just had like a bunch of spicy foods because it’s supposed to put him into labor and then Raph looked all hurt and he said it was one of those cramp things!” Mikey was sputtering almost too fast to understand. “You’ve got to come quick!”

Donny took less than a second to pick the sense out of his brothers' ramblings before he was tossing his glasses over his shoulder. He grabbed a small bag and ran back down the hall. “Let’s go.”

Both brothers ran to the living room. 

Still stuck on the ball Raph clung to the arm of the chair, forcing himself to keep his breathing steady. 

“Raph?” Donny hovered nearby. “What’s going on? Are you really-”

“Don’t know,” Raph ground out. “Feels the same as before.”

“And you’ve been timing them?”

“Bit busy.” The mind-numbing cramp came to a staggering end, leaving him gasping in pain. Raph dropped his head on the arm of the couch. “Shit,” he mumbled. “That was stronger than normal.”

“How long has this been going on?” 

“Today?” Raph rubbed his face, trying to clarify. 

“To start.”

“Little cramping all morning,” Raph tried to think. “Baby hasn’t been kicking a lot so I could feel it more. But it got bad out of nowhere.”

“Did your water break?”

“I don’t think so,” Raph shifted on his seat. “Help me to the couch?”

Donny nodded once. “Mikey. Get his arm.”

While Raph was moved Donny dug in his bag, grabbing a small stopwatch. “I’m going to give you the watch. Do you think you can time them properly?”

One nod. 

“Good,” Donny pressed the watch into his hand. “Raph, I, I know I gave you that list to help you go into labor but take it easy.”

“My least favorite words,” Raph tried to settled himself into the couch once more. 

“I know, I know.”

Hands curled over his stomach Raph scowled. “So what am I supposed to do? Just sit on the couch? Another one of those things on the list is 'walking around,'” his frustration grew. “And I really am fine Mike.”

Mikey moved back from where he’d been hovering over his brother. “Sorry.” 

“And tea,” Raph waved off Mikey gently. “Go get us a couple cups of?”

Mikey saluted. 

Once gone Donny sat down next to his brother. “Raph…” he said slowly. “I know you’re a strong guy but-”

“But what Donny?”

“You’re fifteen. As much as you don’t want to admit it, you are not made for this. You’re male. This growth, this change to you both internally and externally is presenting a severe strain on you. You know that, you have to.”

Raph sunk in his chair, letting his strength wane. “Yeah.”

“And as much as you hate relaxing-”

“I am relaxing,” Raph protested. “I’m doing everything right, I swear. I’m taking the vitamins, I’m using that lotion for growth and stretch marks, I’m eating right-”

“Which doesn’t change the obvious,” Donny interrupted gently. “Being pregnant is wearing you out. And the reason I gave you the list is because the longer you go, the longer you grow,” a smile flashed across his face if only for a moment. “It will get more difficult. Those smaller in stature- it’s dangerous with you being narrow hipped.”

Raph took a longer deep breath, his face unreadable. 

Expecting an outburst Donny winced, waiting. 

“I thought as much.”

“What?”

Resigned Raph ran a hand slowly over the apex of his stomach. “I assumed I’d end up with the short end when it came to all this. You got a plan to keep me from getting cut open?”

Donny blinked, his thoughts slow to catch up. Finally, his brain seemed to grab at the obvious. “I think so. I’ve got a few options, several pain killers I’ve been collecting.”

“That doesn’t really fix the fact I’m too thin.”

“I’m hoping that, along with everything else your body has adapted to, it may stretch when push comes to shove.”

“Pun intended?” Raph smirked sleepily. 

Donny pursed his lips. “You’ve definitely been spending too much time with Mikey.”

“Probably.” 

Letting a silence grow for a moment Raph listened to the clatter of the kettle in the next room. 

“And if it doesn’t?” Raph asked. 

“If you don’t begin to widen out, more than you have now there are other options.”

“Like?”

Donny was shaking his head. “Raph, I’m sure we won’t have to use them. I don’t want to freak you out with all this stuff, it’s not exactly pleasant.”

“Then shouldn’t I know?” There was a pressure, not under his ribcage, but in his chest; a fist at his heart. “Shouldn't I be prepared if things go south?”

“We probably won’t have to use them,” Donny repeated. 

“ _ Probably _ ,” Raph leaned forward, knuckles pressed into his thigh. “I don’t care how graphic it is. I’ll take the c-section if I have to. I have to know my kid will be okay. I have to,” he struggled to keep the crack from his voice. 

Donny sighed. “I’d like to avoid a c-section,” he said finally. “I do have the tools to perform it but it is last chance. It’s not exactly something I have any practice in.”

“True,” Raph snorted, still not settling himself. 

“There’s an operation to make a cut in the skin, just beside the hip, to stretch out,” he did his best to ignore Raph’s wince. “And the other is, is a forced hairline fracture in the hip and tailbone.”

“Right,” Raph said, not searching for any more details. 

“I just hope we won’t need them.”

“You and me both. But if, if we do-”

“Like I said,” Donny pressed. “If we need any of them then I have pain killers, we’ll be in your room, with your chair and the waterproof mattress cover for the bed and Splinter and the full force of our bathroom cleaning supplies.”

Dropping into the couch cushions Raph rubbed his head. “You make it sound so easy. Labor is still going to be a bitch.”

“Don’t swear in front of the baby!” Mikey returned, three cups cradled in his large hands. 

“Right,” Raph took the offered cup, letting the conversation shift away. 

Sipping absently he met the lazy movements from within, a balm to his discomfort in an odd way. No matter what this kid did to screw up his guts his heart only beat for them.  _ Cheesy, hormonal little _ \- Raph shook the thoughts away. 

“Raph?” A hand tapped his knee. 

“What?” he glanced up from his empty mug, throat raw with boiling water. 

Mikey waited eagerly for some kind of answer. 

“Have you felt any more cramping?” Donny raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh,” Raph shook his head as he realized the answer. “Nothing since I got off the ball.”

“So do you want to get back on it?” Mikey asked nervously. “I mean, if it makes the baby come out then… that’s a good thing.”

“No more for today,” Raph put down his cup. “For now I think I’ll turn in for a nap, see if I can to Splinter about a couple of things. 

Mikey took the cup, already there to help him to his feet. “You can’t. Splinter has been doing some one on one training with Leo all day.”

“Makes sense,” Raph grunted. “I half expected the house to run in with sirens once you took off.”

Heat burned up Mikey’s cheeks. “Well can you blame me?”

Raph headed down the hall, a hand pressed into his eye. How was he already so wiped out? He’d hardly gone anywhere today, and the space he had gone had ended up with him sitting on the couch. 

And yet, despite a bone-deep exhaustion he still felt restless. What was even going on with him anymore?

“You got any idea?” Raph sat down on the end of his bed, the heel of his palm pushed into his spine. “You’ve taken over the rest of my body. Though you seem to be better at fogging my brain than anything."

There was a squirming below his hand. 

Raph lowered himself to the mattress, not reciprocating the touch, simply feeling it. 

"God, I can't wait to meet you," he whispered. "To really see you. I hope you know how much," he closed his eyes, smiling as he felt the words pass his lips. "I hope you know how much I love you." He meant it, more than anything else he'd ever said. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops. False alarm. Not much time for any others though. Thank you for reading and tell me what you think!


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

Sleeping was nearly impossible. Through the next few days, Raph found himself resuming his nighttime wanderings, staying within the confines of his room and the living room. 

Walking down the hall Raph paused, a hand at his side, face scrunched. 

"Raph?" Leo paused, walking past. 

“What are you doing up?” Raph tried to steady himself. 

“Couldn’t sleep,” he lied. “Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he pressed more firmly. "I'm good."

Unconvinced Leo waited. "Do you want me to get Donny?"

Shaking his head Raph groaned softly. "No, no. I just need to sit down."

With an arm around his brother, Leo guided him to the kitchen table. "Do you want water or something?"

"No," Raph leaned his head back, letting out a low breath. "Ugh, that sucked."

"What was that?" Leo asked, hesitantly. 

"S’ called a contraction."

Leo had to take a full second to reboot. "A what?"

"I thought you said you read the stupid baby books," Raph huffed. "Contraction," he said slowly, dragging out each syllable. 

"But that means- Raph are you in labor?" Leo squeaked. 

Raph took him in eyes wide and fueled by fear before his face broke into an evil grin. "You are so easy to trick."

Dropping onto the counter Leo pressed his palms to his eyes. "Raph, I'm going to kill you."

"Can't kill me, I'm carrying precious cargo." Still chuckling Raph pushed himself to his feet. "I'm not in labor. Not even close."

"Good," Leo recovered himself. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

Patting his arm Raph leaned against the counter, a hand still rubbing small circles into his side. "Nah. Stupid cramping is called Braxton Hicks. It's like practice labor. It sucks."

"And you're sure it's normal? And you're really  _ not _ in labor?" Leo asked.

"Cross my heart," Raph smiled grimly. "Trust me. I will make sure to get a little more attention when his kid decides to make their debut." He settled in his chair, legs splayed. “So what are you really doing up?”

“I told you. I couldn’t sleep,” Leo struggled to stifle a yawn. 

Raph rubbed his face. “You guys are taking shifts watching me again aren’t you?”

“Well…”

“I knew it,” Raph pointed an accusatory finger at him. “You guys need to chill. I am fine. I’m only walking the halls. I don’t even go anywhere!”

Leo held up his arms. “It’s not just me. Splinter takes his turns too.”

Raph dropped his head on the table. “You guys are unbelievable. Quit following me around. I swear I am okay. I will wake you if anything happens.”

“Were you going to wake someone for the contraction you just had?”

“ _ False _ contractions are few and far between.”

“Were you?”

“No,” Raph rubbed his arm. “But only because it really is nothing.”

“And what if it turns into real labor? Donny told me he gave you a list on how to start it.”

Raph rolled his eyes. “If, on the off chance, my water breaks while I’m taking one of my million trips to the bathroom I’ll scream at the top of my lungs. Cross my heart.”

Leo eyed him, still distrustful.

“Go to sleep Leo,” Raph pressed. “I know what I’m doing.”   


Leo shook his head slowly but went to do what he’s told. “And you’re sure I can’t do anything?”   


“Anything but watch a movie with me probably not?” shook his head. “Bed. I’m fine.”   


Yawning widely Leo stretched. “That kind of ordering around you’re gonna be a great parent.”

Raph waved him off, something warm burning underneath his ribcage. 

 

* * *

 

With his guard now gone Raph went to make himself yet another cup of tea. 

"Is it the tea or your skull in my bladder keeping me up?" Raph mumbled absently. "Who even knows anymore." 

Overcome with an odd sense of inertia Raph set his half-full cup next to the sink, pressing the base of his palms into his eyes. 

What was wrong with him lately? Everything battled with their opposites inside him. Constantly hungry with the energy his parasite took; every time he tried he found a return of nausea he hadn't felt since the first trimester. He took down calming tea like a monster and he still felt dried out. The only thing he wanted was to lie down to sleep for hours on end and yet his body wouldn't let him, restless and wild. He must've gone through and reorganized his dresser and closet half a dozen times. 

Nesting, Donny called it. Though Raph was sure it could be attributed to boredom. With a week and a half until his actual due date and every labor inducing method exhausted the only thing he could do was wait. 

Shoving his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants he headed for the front door. The hall outside the heated space of the sewers was icy cold. That had been the only thing he could rely on lately. 

Raph felt something close to feverish all the time. With his cold-blooded brethren jacking up the thermostat the more intense the winter above got he thought he was going to melt. It didn't help that he was three times his usual size. 

"Usual is relative," Raph snorted under his breath. 

Stepping out onto the cold cement Raph sighed. It would be too much in a minute he was sure, but for the moment he enjoyed the soft breeze. 

With a hand on the wall, he walked, or more accurately waddled, down the length of the hall. Eyes closed he tried to wipe his mind, ignore the aches and pains and extra weight tugging at his spine. Letting his mind move further he disregarded the damp feeling at his chest, the damn leaking pads he was always replacing under the band on his ribs. He struggled to forget the million things he felt like he had yet to learn. 

Pausing at the end of the hall Raph rested his face against the cement wall, letting the cold seep into his flushed face. 

He muttered a low whine, a grunt of complaint. Everything was so uncomfortable, too much to do, to think about with no escape. 

A sharp kick drew his attention. 

"I don't want to escape," Raph comforted, brushing small circles into the skin. "I don't. I just want what’s next. I want to know I can handle what comes next. It's one thing to get a house and a job, it's one thing to run down a list for inducing, to read up everything. It's another to finally have you, to have my body to myself again. I'm," he paused, his mind finally clear in the sharp cold. "I'm not scared. I'm too excited to sit still," his smile was soft. 

The next kick was too well-timed. 

"You too? Ready to meet this odd little world?"

Another sharp jab. 

"Ow," Raph pressed harder. "I get it, I get it. No need to bruise-" 

A gush of liquid drenched his inner thighs. The clear puddle spread around his bare toes. Too frozen to think Raph shifted his eyes downward. 

There was a long stretch of silence, the only noise a steady drip of his pant leg.

"Oh," he squeaked. "Oh… shit."

His water had just broken. 

He was in labor. 

"Okay, okay, gotta get back to the others and, and get help." His emotions had iced over, shock blocking out what could've been excitement, terror and maybe just a jumble of everything he'd forced himself to suppress. 

Eyes on the floor Raph turned, knowing he'd be tracking a steady stream back to the front door. 

"Come on kid," he breathed, arm curled firmly around himself. "Let's go get uncle Donny okay?"

Not paying attention, the top of his head collided with a sturdy figure. 

"Leo?" He spoke without looking up. "We have to go, can you get-" his voice died in his throat, meeting a far different face. 

Whiter than a sheet, grimey, blonde tipped dark hair hung around a skeleton grin, yellowing teeth stained with maroon blood, a man towered above him.

"Gunner?" 

"Hey Ralphie," his throat crackled, the movement of his adams apple pulling waxy skin. "Long time no see." 

He lifted a ragged nailed hand, curling it into a fist before pulling it back. 

The blinding pain caught him in the jaw. 

Raph felt his knees buckle, body hitting dropping like a stone. Before he could stop it his head collided with the cement and he knew no more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhangers for Christmas presents. Whoops. In any case, I will see you for the new year! (And possibly new arrivals on the way) 
> 
> Have a happy holiday and thank you so much for making this my most writing filled year so far! You are all amazing!


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

Leo rolled out of bed, loose blankets curled around his legs, tangling around his ankles, his body positively throbbing. The aches of the previous night had only grown worse. There'd been a reason he was so quick to accept Raph's proposition. He'd forgotten how intense the training with Splinter could be when his sensei could give him undivided attention. 

Standing with a long yawn he dug his thumbs into the visible green knots along his shoulders and neck. Absently he reached for his usual garb, affixing every leather strap on instinct. He left the swords, however. It'd been a long time since he'd brought weapons to breakfast. Perhaps Splinter was right, they had been going through and oddly quiet year. Or maybe all villainy was enjoying their Christmas. His shell hung heavy, each step down to breakfast weighing a hundred pounds. 

"Morning," Leo managed through another long yawn. 

"You better be tired because you took the whole night shift," Donny eyed him, pausing in fiddling with a small device on the tabletop. After a second he seemed to take pity on his brother, pushing a coffee cup across the table. "You never came to wake me up."

"I got caught," Leo sat down heavily. 

"So?"

"So you were only supposed to be up for a couple extra hours last night. We take turns with-"

"Morning," Mikey had great timing. Looking just about as beat as Leo felt he stumbled into the room, actually holding an eye open with his finger. "Coffee?" he slurred hopefully. 

"On the counter," Donny thumbed the space behind him, turning his attention back to the visually unintelligible project on the tabletop. 

"Yay," he closed his eyes again, zombying his way to the cupboards.

"Good morning my sons," Splinter walked into the room, dressed and tidy, hands clasped behind his back, head held high. "I take you have all slept well?"

Donny heard the note of sarcasm. "I know you were going to keep an eye on Raph this morning but  _ someone _ decided to go to bed instead."

Holding up an arm to protest Leo struggled yet another wide yawn. "Raph caught me following. He got all mad about having a babysitter. So I had him promise he'd come get one of us if anything happened."

"And you trusted him?"

"He's not the same as before," Leo shot back. "I trust him to be responsible. Besides, how much trouble is he able to get in?"

"He can't even get up from chairs without help," Mikey poured his coffee, adding about six too many creamers.

"Thank you, Mikey!"

Splinter chuckled lightly. "I admire your trust in him, Leonardo, however-"

"I'll check on him after breakfast," Leo said. "I know it was dumb."

An eyebrow cocked Splinter paused. "Was our training yesterday too much for you to handle?"

Leo felt the color drain from his cheeks. "No master, of course not. I am capable of handling anything."

Pulling out a chair for himself Splinter's good mood pressed on. "Calm yourself, my son. I jest."

Donny exchanged a glance with Leo, a figurative eyebrow raised. "Did you sleep well sensei?" He asked slowly, caught off guard by said good mood. 

"I have a good feeling for the day," Splinter linked his fingers on the table. 

"Would you like some coffee?" Mikey asked, his heavy-lidded eyes open enough to get a blurry outline of his little family. 

Splinter shook his head. "I would however much enjoy some tea."

"Donny this yours?" Mikey poked a cup by the sink. 

"Not mine."

"Must be Raph's," Leo stretched his shoulders absently. "I think he was headed out here last night."

"Do we even have any tea left?" Mikey stood on his tiptoes to peer into the box. "He makes three a day, at least."

Donny stood to place his cup in the sink. "Raspberry tea is on the list for inducing. Somehow he still hasn't given up on it yet. I would've thought he'd wait to let it happen after a full week. Though," he dumped the cold tea into the sink, "he's pretty good about getting his cups cleaned out before he walks away."

"Pregnancy brain," Mikey giggled, draining the last of his mug, dropping it on Donny's plate before he could pull it away. "He left the tv on yesterday, and the sink running for twenty minutes, and he keeps losing that little notepad he's been toting around. Though, how you lose something when you can't stand up without help is beyond me. I think I've tripped on a hundred pens. He leaves them everywhere."

"Be nice," Donny swatted his arm. 

Mikey brought back Splinter's cup, stealing Donny's vacated seat. 

"Who's turn is it for breakfast?" Splinter sipped slowly from his cup. "I am craving pancakes."   
"We're out of syrup-" Donny began to pull out ingredients, watching Leo walk down the hall with the last of the coffee. "You'd better not be waking him up!"

Leo waved him off. "If he's not up I'll let him sleep." Eyes pressed shut Leo fought back yet another yawn, making his way to his brother's door. "Raph?" he called sleepily. 

There was no answer. 

Peeking inside he paused, expecting to find a mountainous heap of pajamas and brown curls but instead spying only an unmade bed. Setting the warm mug down he scooped them up. Raph didn't even bother trying to get things dropped to the floor anymore. There was too much baby in the way. And he took every opportunity to complain about said fact. 

Leo folded absently, shooting a glance around the room. Raph's bathrobe still hung on its peg, besides the fact the shower wasn't running. 

A knot starting to wind its way around his guts he poked open the bathroom door. Empty. 

"Donny?" Leo cast his eyes around the living room. "You were up first. Did you see Raph around?"

"No, isn't he in bed?"

A shake of his head. 

Mikey hopped down to the living room, peering over the back of the couch. "Isn't here either."

Blood draining from his face Donny scowled. "I closed the front door when I woke up this morning. It was freezing cold."

Leo slammed down the mug on the table, mirroring the scowl. "He promised no more wandering."

"He probably just stepped out for a breath of fresh air," Mikey twisted his fingers, going to open the door. "You know how he's been complaining about how hot it is in here." He struggled for a smile, shooting it back at his brothers. "Or he could've sat down somewhere, gotten himself stuck."

"For his sake, I hope so," Donny followed his brother with a sigh. 

Mikey vanished into the hallway with a heavy thump and a yelp. "Ow!"

"Mikey?"

Leo and Donny stuck their heads out into the hall, finding Mikey lying on his back. Ice spread across the cement floor around him, proper icicles hanging from the ceiling. 

"We're iced in," Donny glared at the winter wonderland outside their front door. The circular tunnel, which had been empty and clear not hours before was now frozen over, all stone vanished under a thick layer of filthy water. It was all dirt thankfully as their current abode was surrounded by drainage pipes heading to the ocean. 

"How?" Mikey grunted, sitting up and rubbing at his head. "We're like, miles underground."

"Burst pipe?"

Stepping carefully past his brother Leo poked at the ice. "It's not thick but it looks like it gets higher the further into the tunnel it goes. His insides were clenched, something blocking his airways. 

"Leo…" Donny sensed the tension before anyone could speak. "Just take it easy. I mean, there's no chance, I mean Raph couldn't-"

"Oh," Mikey squeaked. "Do you think he drowned? He could've gotten stuck in the ice and flash-frozen like mammoths."

"That isn't what happened to mammoths," Donny said numbly, scanning the dark tunnel. 

Leo turned back to his brothers. "It's fine. He can't be out there. And even if he is, which he's not, he's probably just stuck in a side tunnel. That's all. We've just got to find him." He thought quickly, forgetting the ice below his feet. 

"Watch out!" Mikey, still on his knees, steadied his brother before he could topple. 

Glancing down at the ground Leo stopped dead. "Donny, um, could you tell me, that's not-"

All three brothers stared in terror at the stain. 

"That would be blood," Donny squeaked. "And it looks new."

Splinter stepped into the light, his face set. "We must find your brother, now. Michaelangelo, search the house and all tunnels open to us. Donatello, find a way through the ice, any device you may have to see into the frozen water would be of the utmost importance."

Donny scrambled up. "The go-cart, the one Raph used, I have a drill attachment. But I'll need an extra set of hands."

A single nod. "Leonardo, you will help affix the drill." His face grew ever more serious. "I will prepare the first aid. I fear we may need it before the day is out."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for all the support I've gotten for this story this year and I will be posting again in a couple weeks, just to give this story a proper ending! See you in 2020!


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

Raph had to crawl his way back to consciousness. Hovering on the edge of a black void he let himself shy away. There was a harsh throbbing along his whole body.

Swallowing a long groan he pressed his eyes shut. 

"What happened?" He whispered, voice cracking. 

“Didn’t knock him on the head that hard did I?” a gruff voice wandered back to him. 

Oh. Right.  
  
Raph squinted into a real inky blackness. 

“Gunner?” His breath burst forth, a mist of frosted air. He’d been sitting in it so long his face had gone numb. Trying to move his aching frame he found himself bound. Duct tape or something held his wrists before him, things and ankles stuck fast, leaving him floundering like a perverse mermaid. 

“At least he’s awake,” the voice spoke again. “Told them he’d be down here, I told them, and I told them.”

Raph searched frantically, craning his neck to find any trace of another’s breath. “Gunner? What’s going on? What do you want? I- ” he stopped dead, a ragged scream torn from his throat. Curled tight on the frozen ground a sharp body encompassing pain drove him to a standstill. 

A  _ contraction _ , he realized, fuzzy brain scrambling for an explanation. Before he’d been knocked out his water had broken. He was in  _ labor _ .

“Gunner, Gun, please, you’ve got to let me go,” he begged, trying to move as the throbbing pain retreated. 

The bigger boy was atop him in seconds kneeling over him, those deep-set eyes practically glittering. He pressed a filthy finger to Raph's lips. "Shhh, shh. No talking. There won't be any talking. They didn't believe me so I'm going to show them. No talking. I get to show them." His cracked voice crowed with a child-like pride, like a toddler who'd drawn on the walls. 

Raph gaped, incredulous. How had this happened?

"Gunner?"

"Shhh!" he leaned closer, spitting across his face. "No talking."

He climbed off Raph, pacing the length of the dim room, gnawing on his nails. 

Taking advantage of the silence and his apparent distraction Raph slowly pulled himself up. Tied how he was it took some doing before he was sat up, bound feet planted on the ground, thighs pressed into his stomach. He rested his hands atop his stomach, head back. 

Even that small movement had him gasping. 

The light above was dim at best, an old flashlight set out, the ring of gold on the low hanging ceiling above him. 

"Okay," Raph spoke, hardly breathing the words. "Okay. Got to figure…" he glanced at the still pacing Gunner. "Him. Contact the others. Figure out where I am." His insides twinged badly. "And how long I've been out."

"You!" Gunner turned wildly. "You!"

Raph scrambled away, startled, trying to cover his middle on instinct. "What?"

"You're down here! Why are you down here? What were those things with you? You have monsters," he put his hands on his ears, shifting from foot to foot. "Monsters. I saw them, I did, I did," he repeated the last two words, trailing off. "Tell me!" he screamed.

"I'll answer your questions if you answer mine," Raph pushed himself straighter. 

"Questions?" Gunner seemed to come back to himself for a second. "What questions you got Ralphie?"

"Where are we?"

"Wrong question," he reached into his pocket.

Knowing the assorted blades usually held in that space Raph switched tack. "Fine, fine. Forget where.  _ Why _ did you take me?"

Gunner froze. "They have to know. The others. The gang. They have to. I told them about your monsters. No one believed me. Tell me about the monsters!"

Raph stayed strong, forcing his voice to stay steady. "I will. When you tell me why you kidnapped me."

"I said," Gunner growled. He stepped over the flashlight, face coming into sharp focus. "I already told you. I'm taking you back to the gang Ralphie. They're going to see I wasn't lying. You've been hiding down here. You're carrying..." his gaze landed hungrily across Raph's swollen belly. 

A knife drove ever deeper into Raph's chest, not yet biting into the skin. 

He would not let the others touch his baby. He wouldn't. Kenta's baby had to be safe.

"Your turn," Gunner advanced, kicking the flashlight. "Why are you down here? What were those  _ things _ ?"

Raph swallowed hard. He had to stall. He didn't have the strength to break the duct tape. "That's two questions."

A growl low in Gunner's chest filled the room, too much like a dog. 

"I'm down here to stay safe," Raph invented wildly. Stick as close to the truth as he could. But if Gunner knew just how close he'd been to his front door…

"Why?" Gunner was reaching into his pocket once more. 

"I, I have a base down here," Raph said. "I, I go through the tunnels to get to a place in the mountains. But I keep my vehicles down here. I was just on a walk."

"Where is this base?"

A chance.

"I, I can show you," Raph offered. "But you'll have to undo my legs-"

"How stupid do you think I am?" Gunner dropped to his hands and knees, inches away once more. "I'm not stupid Ralphie. I'm not. I was smart enough to hide down here. I was smart enough to stake out Ken's grave. I followed you back down. Down into the darkness."

Raph could hear his heartbeat in his ears. 

Did Gunner already know where his house was? What if he'd been inside his brother's house?

"You were too fast," Gunner was up again, swearing. "I lost the cart. But I had to find you. I went through every tunnel, every tunnel," He reached into his pocket. 

Before Raph could come up with a new plan he saw what was in his palm. It wasn't a knife, it wasn't any kind of weapon. It was a subway map. Nothing special, a map you could get at any stop. But it had been marked to the point of unrecognition. Pen of every color, pencils and, yes, a thick layer of dirt and grime, covered every inch of the map. The corners had been tattered down the water damaged nubs. 

"I've been down every tunnel," he repeated, eyes the size of dinner plates. He snatched up the flashlight, pointing it at the map, chewing at his cheek. "Every tunnel. But nothing. There's nothing but stupid tourists, security and crazy people!" he shouted the last two words. 

Raph couldn't hear him. 

Head pressed against the wall he grit his teeth. 

The low cramping pain wound up around his spine, holding tight to his insides. 

"Stop," Raph begged softly. "Stop."

Gunner snarled, that same dogs growl. "What are you doing?"

Too much pain to think up a lie. "I'm in labor."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Raph couldn't speak, chest heaving. Unable to summon more than a moan he crumpled against the wall.

"What are you doing?" Gunner's fists wound into his shirt. "Speak!"

"The baby," Raph gasped, closing his eyes, the pressure lessening. "The baby is coming."

All the blood drained from Gunner's face. "You're lying. You're lying! It can't be coming now. They won't believe me if you have the baby!"

Forcing himself to breathe, deep steady breaths Raph nodded. "Take the tape off my legs. You'll see. My water broke."

He snorted, still disbelieving. "You pissed yourself. You can't fool me. I'm not stupid!"

"Gunner," Raph was begging. "How long have we been down here? I don't know if we have much time."

"Shut up!"

Swallowing hard Raph cast around wildly. How could he have been so stupid? He didn't have anything with him, he'd sent Leo to bed. Did they even know he was gone yet?

"How long has it been since you took me?"

"Why does that matter?"

Raph cast around wildly. Why couldn't he think? "I have to know."

Shaking his head Gunner spread the map out on the floor. "Finding a way out. Finding a way. Have to show them. I'll show them."

"I can show you the way out," Raph said quickly. 

"What?"

Raph pushed past the dangerous snarl. "I know these tunnels like the back of my hand. I grew up down here. I can get us out."

"Fine."

Relief took the weight from his shoulders. 

"But if I see anything out of the ordinary," Gunner said slowly, crawling across his map, paper ripping loudly. "If you take me anywhere but straight back to the gang," he reached into his pocket, pulling out a snaggled filthy blade. "Then I will not cut here," he ran the point of the blade over Raph's neck. "I will cut here."He lifted it up by the hilt, bringing it down, inches away from his stomach. "And I won't hesitate to rip that bastard child out limb by limb."

Raph's breath hitched. "I won't. I, I'll take you out of here."

"Good boy," he patted his cheek with the blade. Lifting it above his head once again Raph flinched away. 

The restriction around his legs fell away, Gunner cutting away the duct tape. "Get up. We're getting out of here."

"I, I don't know where we are. I can't get us out if I don't know where we are."

"I thought you said you knew this place like the back of your hand," Gunner sneered. "Figure it out. Trust me when I say your life depends on it."


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

"Raph? Raph?" Mikey picked through every room in the house, pulling open every closet door, tearing apart every bed, even looking beneath them. "Raph? This isn't funny anymore. Come out, come out wherever you are," his voice trailed off, panic eating away at his voice. "Marco?" 

Nothing. In each and every room. There wasn't a sign of him. 

Sinking to the couch he rubbed his hands together, picking at scabs. "Where did you go?"

"Mikey," Donny peered out into the hallway, a large pair of goggles on his face. "Come here. We need an extra set of hands."

"I can't," Mikey was shaking his head. Actually the whole of him was shaking. "I can't do anything. What are we going to do?"

Donny stepped out into the hallway, drawing himself up. "Mikey!" he snapped. "We're going to get him back. That's what we're going to do. Get your butt over here and help me."

At a loss Mikey nodded and stood, arms crossed tightly. "Sorry, Don. I can't help it. Something just feels off."

Keeping his own panic at bay Donny nodded slowly. "I, I know what you mean. Wandering off seems a habit of his for sure but… if he was hurt he'd turn around and come back."

Leonardo stood in the doorway as well. "It won't help him if we speculate. Besides, he could've just stubbed his toe, didn't realize it was even hurt."

"You're right," Mikey summoned a smile. "He can't even see his feet anymore."

"What was it you just said about speculating?" Donny pursed his lips. 

Leo shrugged sheepishly.

"Let's get back to work," Donny took up his tools again. "The sooner we find him the less we'll have to worry about."

And yet, with each brother doing their part to reattach the drill to the little go-kart, they couldn't help more guesses. Each tried desperately to justify, to reason or to simply ignore the dread growing stronger in their chests. 

* * *

Miles away Raphael could feel that same dread, though his grew ever sharper with each passing second. 

"No funny business," Gunner repeated, more a mantra under his breath. His disgusting nails ripped at the duct tape shackles. 

Closer to Raph now, and his blade tucked away Raph was able to take in his face more carefully. Gunner's eyes hung deep in blackened circles. Underneath what was unmistakably layers of frozen mucus there was a ripped quality and sores around both nose and mouth. 

_ Great _ he silently whimpered.  _ Not only is he entirely insane, he's high as a kite. _

Dread was cut off by pain as yet another cramp built. Raph couldn't help his soft cry, gripping his middle. 

"Stop," Gunner gripped the edge of his pajama shirt. "Stop it."

"I can't help it," Raph tried to speak. When he opened his eyes he found the words had not been directed at him. 

Shining eyes glared at his stomach. Gunner's shaky fingers ghosted over his stomach. "Stop," he hissed again, speaking to the baby. "They have to see you. The others have to know you are Kenta's."

His tone shifted on the final word. 

Raph hadn't heard him speak like that before. Insanity had broken down inhibitions, torn away whatever acting skills he had once possessed. "You… you loved him."

Gunner snapped back to attention. "What?"

"You loved Kenta," Raph spoke with more certainty. "That's why you always hated me, that's why you can't stand the idea that I-"

"You killed him!" he jumped forward, once gentle fingers gripping his collar. "You, useless nobody came from nowhere, pulled him away, distracted him from what was important and then you got him killed!" Gunner froze, hands clasped over his mouth. He scrambled away on hands and knees, sitting in the corner. "Shut up!" he shrieked at himself. "Shut up, shut up, shut up. Not supposed to know. Not supposed to tell."

Raph watched him, carefully pulling away the remnants of tape. "Gun… it's okay."

"No," He pressed his hands into the side of his head. "No. It's not okay. I'm not supposed to like… I'm supposed to like girls."

Something underneath his ribs was pulling tight. "Gunner?"

His captor was falling to pieces, crumbling before his eyes. 

"Gunner, it's okay. You 're allowed to do what you want," Raph slumped against the wall, the last of the contraction fading away. Breathing slowly he rubbed at his side. 

He wasn't listening, stuck in the corner still. Gunner rubbed at his head, biting his lip hard. Sores ripped around his lips, blood dripping down his chin. 

Gunner's violence abated for the moment Raph picked off the last of the tape around his legs. Even if he could have run he wasn't sure he would. 

"Come on," Raph muttered to himself, moving slowly to his hands and knees. "You can do this. It's just talking… you know, the one thing you're not good at." He crawled, still tightly bound at the forearms, until he was a few feet away. "Gunner."

He froze, glancing up at Raph. He was embarrassed. Even when faced with his prey, this tiny pregnant child, he could hardly lift his head. "What do you want?"

"No matter how you felt about Ken-"

"He was my friend, my brother. That's  _ all _ ."

"No matter how you felt about him," Raph pressed. "Or how you feel about me. You did care about him."

A single nod. 

This was it, his brilliant plan, his last hope. "I am in labor. It's Kenta's baby, the last of his family. If you ever truly cared about him  _ help me. _ Help me make sure his baby is okay." Raph was begging, pleading.

There was a pause, a long moment where Gunner considered. "The others have to see it. They have to see I'm not crazy."

"Gunner, please, there's no time-"

"Shut up!" He was back on his feet, blade in hand once more. "Shut up! I'll drag you through these tunnels if I have to! But they're going to see you're alive. Everyone will know it's your fault he's dead!"

Shrinking back against the wall Raph could feel his insides shriveling. “Gun-”

“Shut up!” 

His fist collided with the side of Raphael’s head. He dropped to the filthy cement, gasping. Spitting, he could feel the blood dripping down nose and chin. His nose was damaged, probably broken. Breath coming hard and fast he laid down, trying to get his spinning head back under control. 

“You’re more trouble than you're worth Ralphie,” he paused, drawing closer. “I should just gut you know… leave your sorry ass to freeze down here."

Raph couldn't breathe, blood still thick in his mouth. 

"But that wouldn't help me prove my point," Gunner's cruel smile returned. "Time to move. If I sense any funny business at all," he pointed his blade toward Raph's middle. 

"Got it," Raph wiped away the mess from his face, struggling back to his feet. 

With Gunner just behind him, he started a steady pace, as fast as he could feasibly manage. His insides clenched ever harder. His fingers were starting to go numb from the duct tape. Was there any chance he could get back to his brothers without Gunner noticing? Or could he take him on a goose chase until they were found? Insides twinging he shook his head. No. Couldn't risk it. At least if he got the gang someone could help him. Awkward explanations aside, it was better to have a moron without a clue than it was to have a homicidal maniac. 

As if to prove him point Gunner began to mutter, a wheezing giggle. "They're going to know," he said. "They'll know I'm not crazy."

"Debatable," Raph breathed. 

"What?"

"Nothing," Raph picked up the pace, feeling the point of the blade at his back. 

Eyes peeled in the oppressive darkness Raph slowly started to find focal points, things he recognized, graffiti he'd seen before. 

Worse than he thought. He was at least three hours walk away from his home. And with Gunner being the way he was it could've been a lot longer since he had last been there. 

Numb fingers slapping against the stone Raph began to feel something warm between his toes. 

Turning up his nose Raph struggled to keep his unsteady stomach under control. 

"Why did you stop?" Gunner slammed into him, dull edge of the blade smacking against Raph's arm. 

"I," Raph tried to find his voice past the swelling lump. "I'm bleeding."

"What? I didn't cut you yet. What bullshit is thi-"

"It's not you," fear took hold of every logical corner of his brain. Between his legs, dripping past amniotic fluid was a darker liquid. 

Gunner snarled. "What are you talking about?"

"The baby," Raph stuttered. "I'm bleeding. Gun, I need help, real help."

"You ain't getting any help. We're going to the gang."

"There's no time. Something is wrong." Raph was begging now, pride be damned. "Gunner. It's Kenta's baby. They could be hurt or worse. Please-"

"Shut up," Gunner grabbed his arm, hissing through his teeth. 

"But-"

"Shut up!" Gunner screamed. "I don't want one more word about Kenta. I don't want another peep outta you or I'll bring your corpse back up to the surface."

Raph felt his insides curdling. Everything hurt, despite this cold swirling around him more present than any winter storm there was a heat. He swore he could feel the infant's heartbeat in that moment. He would not lose them. He couldn't. Not now. 

"Okay," he conceded. He just had to move faster. 

Gunner spun him back around. "I meant it. you speak and I gut you."

He didn't answer. Pressing forward Raph took wider strides. 

At the very least he could leave behind a trail to follow. 


	28. Chapter Twenty Eight

It could've been hours, or years that they walked in the tunnels. Miles below the surface Raph felt intimately aware of every sound, every scent. The dark had left him near blind, going through tunnels on instinct. He followed the sounds of the subway above them, praying it lead him where he wanted to go.

The only way he had to keep track of time were the ever-growing, horrible, cramping pains taking him over. His legs had gone numb. How he had managed to keep his pace was a mystery. But even adrenaline couldn't keep him going forever. He would need to stop. This labor would have to come to an end. Could he manage to get somewhere else before that happened? 

He had to. He  _ had _ to. 

Pacing his footsteps at the rate of his heartbeat he pressed on. 

The tunnels always did weird things to his ears. In the silence he could've sworn he heard. 

"Raph!"

Frozen in place Raph perked up his ears. 

"Move," Gunner pushed him roughly forward. 

Was he hearing things?

"Raph."

No. That wasn't imagined. 

Could Gunner hear it? Who knows what all this time down here had done to him. Maybe he couldn't hear the call. 

Was there any way to give a signal without him noticing?

Thoughts running wildly Raph dared to lift his head, glancing down a side hall. 

"What are you looking at you little-" Gunner froze, fingers vices around Raph's arm. "Did you hear that? he ground out between his clenched teeth. 

"H-Hear what?" Raph couldn't help the tremble. 

Gunner pulled him to a stop.

"Raph! Say something. Can you hear us? Raph!"

Rounding on his captive Gunner slammed him into the wall, spitting in his face as he spoke. "You never said there were others in this godforsaken hole."

"New York sewers aren't that bad," Raph leaned heavily against the stone. 

Gunner drew back his closed fist. "Are your monster friends here?" His grin grew ever wider. "Well, they won't be a problem for much longer. But first…" Dragging him along the tunnel Gunner pulled out a roll of duct tape, winding it thick and fast around Raph's legs. "You're gonna stay right here and I'm going to take care of your little friends." From his waistband, he pulled out a handgun. How hadn't he noticed a gun?

_ Probably because of the knife being waved in my face,  _ Raph thought ruefully. 

Heart thudding underneath his ribs Raph tried to scoot closer to him. "Gunner. Just forget about them. I, I know a way around them. We're so close to the surface now and-"

"Shut up," Gunner crouched before him, little more than a common sewer rat. "In fact," he pressed a thick wad of duct tape over his face, across both eyes and mouth, nearly up to his nose. "There we go. I'll keep your ears clear so you can hear the screams."

Too terrified to move Raph strained his ears. He could hardly hear anything over the sounds of the rushing water and subway above. He hunched over, pain lancing across his stomach once more. The pull of muscles sunk into the bone. Unable to recover the air pressed from him he laid his head against the stone, too dizzy to think. 

Maybe he wouldn't find them. Gunner was insane. Not that his brothers couldn't defend themselves. But if he got the drop on them could they defend against bullets?

Panic squeezed tighter than any contraction. Fighting against his binds he scraped at his mouth. If he could yell back to them-

The crack was unmistakable. Gunshot. One, two… down to six. The barrel was empty. 

Pulling ever harder the thick duct tape dug into his wrists. He screamed through the gag, eyes burning. No, no, no. This wasn't happening. Had he jumped them? Two shots each? 

Just as he thought the tape would rip into his arms he froze. Above the rushing water, above the hammering of his heart in his ears, he heard footsteps. 

Was it one? Or more?

Shrinking into the wall Raph clenched his eyes shut. He didn't dare look up. 

A hand ripped the tape from his mouth. 

"Raph?"

"Are you okay?"

"What happened?"

Familiar voices echoed each other, interrupting one another. 

Raph collapsed against the wall, relief coursing through his veins. "You're okay," he croaked. "I saw the gun, I heard, oh god."

"Raph you're shaking." Leo pressed a hand to his arm. "Come on, let's get you freed." With the tip of his sword, he began to pick away his bindings, crumpling up the tape and tossing it over his shoulder. The sticky residue clung to his cheek even as he wiped it. 

Lifting glazed eyes Raph took in each one of his brothers. "You're okay, right?"

"We're fine," Donny assured. 

"Yeah," Mikey stuck out his tongue. "This crazy weirdo is a terrible shot. Can you believe he had duct tape on him?"

Peering around his brothers he saw, lying on the dirty ground, Gunner. Hands were hidden, wrapped up to his elbows, a mermaid of silver tape, ankles bound to wrists. Properly hog tied they must have used the last of the tape roll to incapacitate him. He was wild-eyed, screaming through his own gag. There wasn't an inch of him not entirely covered in dirt and grime. It must have taken all three of them sitting atop him to get him this way.

"I think we might have actually given him a concussion this time," Donny rubbed the back of his neck, looking guilty.

"Good," Leo snarled. 

Donny pressed on, shooting him a glare. "From what we did and the state he was already in he's going to need a hospital. We can drop him off."

"Let them lock him up in the looney bin for yelling about giant turtles," Mikey snorted. 

Raph couldn't manage a smile past the newest swelling pain. 

Turning back to Raph it was Leo's turn to examine. "Are you okay?"

"I-" Raph froze. In Leo's waistband the gun, barrel crushed, hung. But there was no- "You got his knife right?"

"Knife?" Mikey cocked his head before whirling around.

Raph pressed himself into the wall. "Leo!"

Already on his feet, Leo drew something else from his pocket. He quickly zeroed in on the figure scrambling away. He was already halfway down the passage, half-covered in silver. "It'll take more than that to stop me Ralphie!" he shouted behind him. His wild laughter echoed across bare walls. 

Leo threw whatever in his hand. The ninja star flew down the hall, his aim tried and true. It stuck tight in Gunner's calf, toppling him over. 

He howled in pain, griping his leg to his chest.

"Geez Leo, a bit harsh?" Mikey was up and after him. 

"Don't touch me!" Gunner screamed. 

Mikey stopped dead, watching the figure, hardly human now, drag itself away, blood spilling across the stone. 

"Don't you dare lay another finger on me!" His yells became far more incoherent. "You freaks will never touch me again! They'll see! They'll know about you! I'll make sure of it! They'll know what you did to Kenta! You did it! It's your fault!" He dug his nails into the dirt below him, dragging himself ever further to the next turn. 

Raph pushed himself up as far as he could manage. "Gunner, wait!"

"They'll all see!" He shrieked, turning the corner. 

"Mikey, catch him, that's-" Raph stopped, drowned by the animalistic cry. 

Gunner dropped down the sheer tunnel, dropping like a stone to the full sewer line below. The pipe pulled him far away, the screams finally blending with the gurgle of disgusting water, and finally into nothing at all. 

Each brother stood rooted to the spot, too shocked to make a sound. 

"What… did that just happen?" Mikey turned slowly to face his brothers.

"In that my kidnapper just decided to, what I can only assume, commit suicide?" Raph asked hallowly. "I think so." 

Donny recovered himself first. "We can't be responsible for his actions."

Slowly Raph nodded, distracted by the mounting pressure in his spine. 

"Raph?" Leo asked, watching his muscles tense. "Are you okay?"

"With all that? I'm fine. Better he's out of the way."

"Not just that. We found blood."

Donny and Mikey snapped to attention.

"Oh that," Raph brushed off the concern. "I'm fine. Really, it's just-" he stopped, voice caught in his throat. Hunched over himself he did his utmost not to scream. 

"Raph!" Hands held tight to his arm. "What's wrong? Is it the baby? Is everything okay?"

After a long moment, Raph managed to catch his breath. "I'm fine," he repeated. "It's only… I'm in labor."

Yet another long moment. 

"What?" 


	29. Chapter Twenty Nine

Leo yelped. 

Mikey's mouth hung open, eyes larger than dinner plates. 

“What do you mean labor?” Makiey squeaked. “Like baby time now?”

“Mikey, shut up,” Donny pushed him said, quickly gathering his thoughts. “Raph, how long have you been in labor?”

He shook his head, still struggling past the latest cramping pain. “I don’t know, since before he, before Gunner kidnapped me.” He stopped, spine arching. 

“Raph!” 

Leo moved forward, taking his hand. 

"M' okay," he forced himself to keep his breathing back to normal. "You guys aren't going to threaten to r-rip my baby out limb by limb." His shaking growing worse. 

"He did what?" Leo growled. "That awful little-"

"Stop," Raph clung to his wrist. "It doesn't matter anymore. He's dead." He couldn't help the cracking in his voice. 

"You can't possibly feel bad for that monster."

Raph flinched, reacting not to the cramping but from another kind of pain. "Leo, he was, we were friends. He helped me get nearly everything to keep my baby healthy."

"Well, the only times I've ever seen him he was trying to kill you." Leo shot back. 

"He was jealous."

"Jealous?" Mikey cocked his head. 

"He loved Kenta," Raph said numbly. "He probably loved him for years. No one ever saw it. Then I barged in… I took him away. Then I got Kenta killed."

"You can't blame yourself for that," Leo argued instantly. 

"Can't I?"

"Raph…"

"I got them both killed now. I got Kenta shot and I drove Gunner insane, drove him to suicide."

Leo put his hands on either shoulder. "Raph. Stop. You can't think like that."

The intense fear, panic, and cold came crashing down at once. Tears gathered quickly, a weight crushing his heart. "Why couldn't I have just stayed in my lane. I was human. I had a chance for a normal life, but instead, I just fucked everything up."

"Raph," Leo brought up his chin, meeting his eyes. "You didn't drive anyone to anything. Gunner was insane. His insanity was not your fault. He chose to ignore his feelings for however long. He lost who he loved because he, Gunner himself, and not you, decided not to act on those feelings. That's been happening to the entire human race since the beginning of time. Because sometimes people aren't brave. They aren't all noble like you."

"Noble?" Raph snorted derisively, his eyes still burning. 

"It's the kindest way I can tell you that you're being stupid," Leo smiled weakly. "You aren't responsible for other people. Kenta made his own decisions. You are not responsible for a gang war you weren't even a part of. You did not force Kenta to fall in love with you. Because this," he pointed toward his pregnant middle, "this is a child made of love. Whether or not it was an ageless Disney piece of bull is fine. But you loved him to some extent. You decided you didn't want to be with him for the rest of your life. That is something you chose. Everything that happened after that was decisions for your child." 

"What's your point, Leo?" Raph pushed himself away, held up only by the cement wall. 

He took a deep breath. "You can't dwell on what you can't control. I had to learn that being your brother."

Raph dropped his head back, grinning blandly. 

"So, today, right now, all you have to worry about is yourself and your baby."

"Speaking of," Raph tensed, arm curling around his stomach. 

Once more Leo held a hand out. "Raph?"

Struggling to keep himself from sobbing Raph gripped the outstretched hand, crumpling against him. “You're right, as always you smug little-" He stopped, groan caught in his throat. We need to get home. We’re running out of time.”

Donny gnawed his lip. “We came here in the go-kart. I made what modifications I could but we can’t get it any further down the tunnel.”

“I can walk,” Raph lied. “Just give me a moment.”

Each other his brothers watched with bated breath.

Arms on either side of his Raph struggled back to his feet. The blood at his thighs came quicker. Since his waters had broken the lining of his loose-fitting sweat pants had become ever more saturated. At this point, he was starting to feel light-headed. 

“Is this normal?” Raph squeezed Donny's arm, each step taking too much effort. 

"I've told you before that you're fine to have the baby now. They're fully grown."

"Not what I meant," Raph took a deep breath, legs shaking. 

"Then what?"

"The bleeding. I haven't stopped bleeding since my water broke." Panic welled all over again. 

Silently Donny thanked the speed at which he could come up with lies. "I'm sure it is. A bloody show is entirely normal. And most of it is mixed with the amniotic fluid."

Mikey made a face, flipping around to glare at them. "Guys, gross."

"You're not the one  _ leaking. _ " Raph pulled a dramatic grimace.

"Ewwww!" Mikey sped up to round the next corner, scouting out the empty halls.

Raph leaned more heavily against the arms keeping him upright, smile wavering.

Catching on quickly Leo paused, holding tight. "Raph?"

"Just kicking my spine," he lied. "It can't be another contraction. It's only been a couple of minutes."

"How do you know they aren't already that close together?"

"While I didn't manage to get kidnapped with the handy dandy stopwatch I know how to keep track of time," Raph glared. 

Donny cleared his throat. "You know how time gets messed up down here. It may have felt slower especially with everything you were going through."

Exchanging glances over their brother's head Leo shook his head. There was no way of knowing if Raph had taken in a word. 

Breath coming in sharp gasps Raph began to sag, nearly all his weight on his brother's arms.

Peering back around the corner Mikey lifted a metaphorical eyebrow. "Are you guys coming?"

Leo glared back, a finger drawn across his throat. 

Mikey made the wise decision, shutting himself up quickly. 

Donny bit harder at his lip. "Raph, I'm not sure you should be walking," he worried. "If you've been feeling contractions since Leo saw you last night, and they're this close together you might be approaching transition." 

"It's fine," Raph recovered himself, trying to press forward. "Transition is supposed to be the worst bit. We have to keep mov-" Cutting himself off, Raph stumbled, his knees faltering. 

"Raph!" Leo caught him, helping him to the stone floor carefully. 

"That's it," Donny shook his head. "No more walking. Leo, do you think you can carry him."

"Too late."

"What?"

Raph tried to bring any more volume into his voice. "It's too late. I can't move anymore."

Holding tight to his forearms Leo shifted behind him. "You don't have to walk. I can carry you. It's fine."

"No," Raph dug his nails into his brother's arm, breaths turning harsh. "You don't understand. The baby is coming now. I have to push."

"Are you kidding?" Mikey squeaked. "The drill is right around the corner. It's just a little further. Can't you-"

"Mikey," Leo snapped. "Shut up."

Doing as he was told Mikey scurried forward, looking to Donny for instructions. 

"No more moving," Donny affirmed. "You must have… had to walk through transition."

"What do we do now?" Leo asked, breaking him out of his trance."

"Right," Donny gathered himself. "Right. Mikey, go get the spare blanket from the back of the drill. Once you have that go back home, get the black bag from my workbench."

He nodded once, sprinting back down the walkway. 

Panting for air Raph slumped forward. 

"Raph?" Leo asked hesitantly.

"This can't be happening," he whimpered. Sitting on the floor, palms planted on the floor, trembling with an ever-mounting terror. "This  _ cannot _ be happening. I can't have my kid here."

"I'll admit that this isn't exactly ideal but we can make the best of it," Donny tried for a hopeful grin. 


	30. Chapter Thirty

With no way of keeping track of the time, none trapped in the dark tunnel knew how long they sat, waiting. 

Blanket spread underneath Raph laid against Leo, lost to the world around him. His damp pants and underclothing sat in a crumpled heap. The icey air in the tunnels couldn't quite penetrate the sweat pouring down his forehead. 

"Where is Mikey?" Leo hissed, glancing down the hall. 

Donny shrugged helplessly. His eyes did not move from Raph. He knelt at his brother's feet, ready for when the desperate pushes came to fruition. Gnawing at his lip he watched, ready for the next contraction. 

Strung like a wire Raph slumped back. With Leo kneeling behind him it was easy to keep a somewhat seated position. His embarrassment at the situation had faded quickly once the pain grew. "How much longer?" he gasped for air. 

"You're making good time," Donny said instantly. 

Raph bent over, breath coming harsher. "Don, I changed my mind, I'm fine with a c-section." He tried to smile through the effect was marred by the sweat cascading down his forehead. 

"You won't need it," Donny squeezed his arm. "You're doing great. The kid is in the right position and everything."

He didn't speak for a moment, eyes closing. "Donny… I'm really tired."

Ice solidifying in his chest Donny exchanged glances with Leo. 

"You're almost there," Leo encouraged. "And Mikey will be back any minute. It's going to be fine."

Raph shook his head. "I need help."

"That's why we're here," Leo rubbed his arm. "What can we do?"

"Get them out," his voice broke, the next contraction mounting. "I can't keep pushing like this."

Desperately Leo glared at Donny, keeping his voice too low for Raph to hear. "We have to do something. He got kidnapped and forced to walk for hours. He's exhausted."

"I," Donny twisted his fingers. "I don't know if there is anything we can do at this point. Were we back home I, we had plans."

"What kind of plans?"

"Painkillers, ways to reduce pain. We were going to have blankets, his bed, and, and…" Donny paused. 

"What?"

Donny shook his head. "It's too risky."

"We have to do something," Leo's voice broke, watching the color in his brother's face drain away. 

He shook his head more vehemently. "No. Leo. You don't-"

"We can't do nothing!"

Raph flinched at the echoing yell. "What's going on? S' Mikey back?"

"Not yet," Donny tried for a smile, his efforts more forced now. "We were just talking about, about plans."

"You mean the ones where you break my bones to get the kid out."

Leo shifted to a worse shade of green. "You were going to do… what?"

Raph spoke without thought, too distant to detect his brother's tone of voice. "There was a procedure where you cut into the skin," Raph traced along his hip. "It's supposed to stretch out the skin to give the kid more room. The second was a fracture in the hip bone. Same purpose."

"Neither of which we are doing," Donny cut in with brutal speed. "One; because we don't have the proper medical tools, and because I will not cut or break things unless we have  _ proper _ painkillers. And two; because you don't need them. The walking you've done during labor has stretched you to a proper width."

"Proper width?" Raph tensed, the next pain swelling. 

"Your hips are wide enough to let the baby out. You're nearly dilated enough. A few more contractions and you should be able to push with no complications."

"Really?" Raph gaped. 

Donny's next attempt at a smile had mildly more success. "Really?"

Dropping his head back Raph grinned a macabre kind of grin. "Kidnapped and forced to stave off a psychopath sure, but lady luck had the decency to let me avoid broken bones. Why not?"

"Raph," Leo recovered himself, swallowing back nausea. "Raph, you're rambling."

"Helps keep my mind off-" he stopped, teeth grit. The force of the contraction curled him forward. 

Leo held onto his shoulders, keeping him stable. 

"Donny," Raph growled. "Donny I can't keep going like this. I have to push." His words broke with a sob. 

Gnawing at a sore intended in his lip Donny went to check. "Holy shit."

"Mikey said you're not supposed to swear around the baby," Raph breathed. 

"I don't think they could hear me anyway," Donny wiped off his knuckles. "I just felt the head."

"What?" Leo gaped. 

"Raph," Donny couldn't keep the shakiness from his voice. "Raph, you're fully dilated. The baby is right there. With the next contraction, you have to push."

He didn't need to be told twice. After what felt like hours of panting through bone-deep instinct Raph gathered what little energy he had left to him. Knees pressed to his chest, chin pressed against his collarbone he bore down. 

Distantly he heard Donny speaking, probably the count down they'd discussed at one point. Raph didn't listen. He was so close to the end.    
  
After months, or what felt like years, of subjecting himself to April's opinions, of the coddling from his family, the research, the forced shopping, the panic, and finally peace with impending parenthood; he was moments away. He could have his baby,  _ his baby _ , in mere minutes.

"Raph," the distant call hardly broke through. "Raph, stop."

"Why?" Raph couldn't help the crack in his word. He couldn't be stopped, not now that he was so close. 

"You can't keep pushing like that," Donny stayed firm. "Listen to the count down, give me low pushes. If you push with your face like that you'll pass out."

Aggravated, exhausted and defiant Raph opened his mouth to argue when the next pain was atop him. 

Leo squeezed his hand. "You don't have the effort to waste here Raph. Listen to Donny. Please."

Quiet, Raph obeyed. 

"Ten… nine… eight…"

Donny's count was clear and even. 

Straining with what little energy he had left to him Raph tried to concentrate. After months of feeling the movements, they should have been familiar to him. There was nothing to concentrate on anymore. It was all just pressure and cramping pain. The winding pain peaked, sapping his reserves. 

Raph saw black, his vision encroaching. 

The tight hands on his arms felt thousands of miles away. 

His world was on fire. 

Pain was the only thing that existed. He wasn't aware of his strangled scream until his shredded throat couldn't manage it anymore. 

"Raph," Donny's panic eventually broke through. "Raph calm down."

He dropped, panting for air. "What was that?" he didn't have the pride to hide his sobs anymore. "What  _ was _ that?"

"The head," Donny squeezed his arm encouragingly. "Just the crown. I saw it."

"You," Raph didn't know what to say. "You saw…" 

His nod was ecstatic. "One big push. That's all you have to do. Okay?"

"Why did it burn?"

"To put it simply?" Donny's laugh was dry. "It looks like you've got yourself a big baby."

"L-lovely," Raph dropped his head back, feeling the swell.

Behind him, Leo's mouth hung slightly ajar. 

"Leo?"

"Sorry," Leo composed himself, eyes still a bit glazed. 

"Softie," Raph snorted. 

Donny had a hand on his leg. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," Raph geared himself, putting up a wall. It did nothing for him, shattering against the pain. Jaw wired shut he used everything he had. There was no strength left. He couldn't have done more. 

It was only just enough.

"That, that is a full head," Donny sputtered. Prepared as he thought he may have been, he stared in awe. 

Raph couldn't hear him. Too lost in agony. "Donny?" he cried hoarsely. 

"Right, right," Donny wiped at his cheek quickly. "Um, no cord around the neck. They're faced the right way. Little pushes now. The shoulders are the widest part."

Raph tuned him out quickly. He didn't wait for the contraction, he couldn't. Readying himself for one last shove all the pressure vanished. 

He couldn't quite see past the flurry of his brother's movements. Donny acted without thinking. Fluid removed from the lungs.

Then there were new sounds in the dirty sewer line. The best sound any of them had ever heard. 

All the exhaustion faded with a new energy, a different kind. Raph pushed himself up, searching for the source of the sound. 

Cradling the newborn in his arm Donny let the tears drip down his cheeks. "G-god Raph, she's got quite a set of lungs on her."

"She?"

Leaning forward Donny placed the tiny creature on his bare chest. 

"Careful," Leo moved closer, keeping his brother upright and steady. 

Raph didn't hear him. There wasn't anything in the world besides this squealing creature in his arms. Hardly the size of a loaf of bread, dark skin covered in a pale film the tiny girl flailed. Her arms ended in fists smaller than marbles. Ten fingers, ten toes, two crumpled ears, and a pinched red-faced. She took a shuddering breath, screaming her rude awakening to the world. 

Could this be the thing kicking away his ribs for so long? How could he be so sure? But he was. There was a soul-deep connection, something he knew nothing on earth could ever sever. 

Pressing a kiss atop matted dark hair Raph curled her close. "Hi, love," he breathed. "It's nice to finally meet you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yaaay!!! It is the baby. Finally. Thirty chapters and now, ta-da!  
> There will be a couple more chapters and an epilogue if you so wish. It's been a long time since I've tried to write anything this massive so please, please, let me know what you guys would like to see in these last few chapters and what you feel needs to be tied up. Thank you everyone for reading and your support!


	31. Chapter Thirty One

The sound of his daughter slowly quieted. She seemed, even at this brand new age, that the arms in which she held was where she belonged. Hiccuping herself into a grumpy, fussy silence she wriggling atop his chest. Raph had found his shirt, mostly free of dirt, and wrapped her in it. With Donny's guiding hand he wiped away the fluid across her eyes and mouth. 

Every carefully swipe showed the pale mottled skin. 

"Give her time," Donny said, unable to quell his smile. "She's going to be as dark as you."

"Hopefully she doesn't inherit the freckles," Raph tried to joke. His voice was thick, joy practically overwhelming him. 

The ever distant sounds of the drill engine approached. 

"Wonderful timing," Leo muttered.

"We're going to need to cut the cord," Donny glared at him. "Raph, can you give me another little push. You need to pass the afterbirth."

Leo put a hand on his shoulder. "Do you want me to take her?"

Raph couldn't summon words. Shaking his head deftly he prepared the aching muscles. Never before had he felt so tired. 

On his chest the menial weight of his daughter,  _ his daughter, _ pulled his attention. 

Toothless mouth open wide she yawned. 

"Must have been quite the ordeal for you too," Raph whispered. 

"Raph," Donny called a warning. 

He did as he was told. 

Far away the thudding sounds of not one but two pairs of feet. 

"Donny!" Mikey yelled. "Donny?"

"Down here," Donny spoke softer. "Leo, can you-"

"Stretcher. Got it.” 

Up on his feet, Leo was halfway down the hall before he collided with his brother. 

Arms full with blankets, towels and million other things Mikey looked past him, wild-eyed. “What happened? Is everyone okay? Did I miss it? Is Raph okay? Did he already have the-” his words caught in his throat, nausea swelling. 

To be fair the sight was not a pleasant one. Strewn and ingrained in every line blood and various fluids stained the stone around them. And as Raph followed Donny’s instruction for one final push the disgusting bloody bag that was the afterbirth splashed into the pile of amniotic fluid. 

“Oh that is so sick,” Mikey turned, ready to puke. 

“This way wimp,” Leo chuckled, pushing his brother down the hall. 

Mikey protested. “Hey, I didn’t get to see the baby yet!”

“Trust me, she is not going anywhere.”

“It’s a girl?!”

Lightheaded Raph couldn’t manage a proper smile. Despite his exhaustion, his grip on his crying child had not wavered. 

“Raph?”

“Hmm?”

“We need to get you back to the lab.”

The ice in his brother’s voice pulled him up. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing to worry about yet. You just need rest.”

Raph wasn't buying the lies. Struggling against failing muscles he tried to get himself into a sitting position. Every joint in his body demanded he lie back down. Against his chest, sensing the new stress his daughter began screaming ever louder, her screams echoing off stone walls. “Donny. What’s wrong? She’s okay, right? There’s nothing wrong with her?”

He shook his head quickly. “It’s not her.”

From down the hall, they could hear the rattling sounds of the stretcher drawing ever nearer. 

“Then what?” Raph couldn’t focus on his brother anymore. The walls were swooping around beside him. He felt like he was in a ship on the ocean. 

From far down the tunnel Donny spoke. But no, that couldn’t be right, he was kneeling right beside him. “You, you’ve hemorrhaged.”

“English,” he tightened his grip around the bundled in his arms. He wasn't going to pass out. 

“You're bleeding, badly.”

“Can you hold her?”

“Raph?”

“I don’t feel good.”

“Raph?” Donny’s fear was tangible. 

Leo was pulling up beside them. “Donny. What’s going on?”

“Is there supposed to be that much… blood?” Mikey squeaked. 

“Get him on the stretcher. Now.”

His vision was tunneling. Raph couldn’t see anything but the bundled blanket on his chest. The world was fading away, fraction by fraction. Slowly the only real thing in the world became the wight on his chest. Then it was gone. 

“No,” Raph tried to find where she had gone. He hadn't dropped her, he hadn’t. He could still hear her cries, growing further and further away.

“Try and relax, okay?” the voice came from even further afield. But he didn’t recognize it. “You’re going to be fine.”

“Kenta?”

He could hardly manage the word before he knew no more. 

 

* * *

 

The exhaustion had set into his bones, making Raph fight to push himself back. He couldn't remember the last time he'd left so tired.    
"Raph?" a soft voice called. "Raph?"

"Leave me 'lone," he tried to mutter. 

"Not this time," Kenta's words finally floated to him. 

"Ken?" he croaked. 

"I don't have a lot of time to talk."

Raph couldn't open his eyes. His lids were so heavy. "You can't be here."

"I had to see our little girl."   
  
The corners of his mouth lifted. "Perfect isn't she? I'm sure she gets it all from you."

Kenta's laugh was soft. "I doubt that." A pair of warm lips pressed into Raph's forehead. "I miss you. You know that right? I didn't want to go."

"I know," Raph reached absently for his hand. "I wish you were here. She deserves to know you."

"Maybe someday. But not yet." There was a real pain hidden in his voice. "You're going to be a great parent Raph."

"Not without you."

"Yes, you will. We're not meant for each other. We weren't good lovers. I don't think we ever would have been."

Raph continued to try and open his eyes. Slower than he'd like he drifted back to consciousness. Kenta's warm hand squeezed his. "Stay?"

"I wish I could. My parents…" Kenta stopped. "I can't explain now. Take care of our little girl. For me?"

Something pressed into his palm. The weight at the end of his bed vanished. 

"Kenta?"

With a final ditch attempt, Raph forced his lids open. For a moment he half expected to be tucked away in their lookout loft, where he'd spent that short time.

"Guys he's awake!" someone shot down the hall.

Pushing himself onto his elbow Raph squinted into the dim room. He was back in his room. The only light source was the lamp at his bedside table.  He pressed a hand into his temple. There, lying in his palm was an old, scuffed ninja star. Hadn't he lost this? When had he… 

The air froze in Raph's chest. He'd lost the night he'd met Kenta in that alley. He'd took it from Raph, tucked it into his pocket.  But that couldn't be possible. Kenta was dead. 

Wasn't he?

Outside in the hall, he heard several sets of feet. Shoving the star underneath his pillow Raph looked up to see everyone in the doorway. 

"You're awake," Mikey stood in the forefront, shoulders heavy with relief. "See Don, I told you."

"How long have I been out?" Alarm trumped everything. "Where's my daughter? Is she okay?"

"Breathe," Donny pushed past Mikey. Leaning over he scooped up the slumbering infant. "She's here. She's fine."  In his arms, the bundle wriggled.

Raph pushed himself up slowly. The soft hiccuping sobs took all his attention. As the noises turned to strangled cries his chest started to feel damp. "Give her to me," he begged.

"You need to rest," Donny said, alarmed. 

"She's hungry."

"You really shouldn't sit up."

Raph lifted an eyebrow, pressing on. "I'll lie down when you give me my  _ daughter _ ."

Suppressing a sigh Donny moved the bundle of blankets into his outstretched arms. 

True to his word Raph settled back against the piled pillows. Cradled in his arm Raph struggled with his neckline. 

Donny turned, waving his brothers out. "He's awake, he's okay. He needs rest. Tell April she can go home now."

"April is here?" Raph paused. 

"She insisted," Donny couldn't help a weak chuckle. "Everyone is in the living room. We've been waiting for you to wake up."

"How long have I been out?" Raph finally managed to get his shirt off, flinching at the unfamiliar feelings. Thankfully his daughter seemed to have stronger instincts than he, starting on her first meal without hesitation. 

"Only an hour or so," Donny took a deep breath. "It was scary for a minute there."

Raph couldn't move his eyes from her. Tiny and pinched and pink her fists curled atop his chest. Now cleaned her dark curls had sprung up. "You said I, I hemorrhaged?"

"No, you didn't."

"What?"

Donny rubbed the back of his neck. "With the bleeding, I was sure that was what had happened. I was wrong. It was the afterbirth. It tore. The remaining blood from that came out. It must still been attached inside. You managed to push it out while you were out. The bleeding had stopped before we even got home."

Brows furrowed, Raph shook his head. "Then why did I pass out?"

Donny's laugh escaped without permission. "You walked throughout your entire labor process Raph. I can't even imagine how exhausted you are. Twenty four hour training sessions with Splinter be damned. You took a hike then had a baby."

Sinking ever further into his pillows Raph felt the pull at his muscles. "Yeah, mark me down for never doing that again." 

"Please don't. I don't think my nerves could take it." 

Raph said nothing, watching the tiny girl he cradled.  
  
"Unfortunately this just means more of your least favorite thing; resting," Donny paused, his laugh thin. When his brother didn't join him, he laid a hand on his shoulder speaking gently. "Are you okay? Really?"

Underneath his spine, he could feel the metal outline of that ninja star. Shifting slowly he pushed it further out of view. It couldn't be there. Was he okay? Would he ever run out of questions?

Atop his chest, his daughter released a squeaky yawn. Attention instantly caught. Raph pressed a kiss to her forehead, a peace washing over him. "I've got her," he brushed a hand over her velvet soft skin. "I'm perfect."

"And does my granddaughter posses a name?" Splinter's voice asked from the door. 

They both looked up. Despite Donny's threats, his brothers stood in the doorframe once more, April peering underneath Mikey's arm. 

"Reyna," Raph said without hesitation. "Reyna Kame Himura."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Say hello to the tiny (kind of) turtle baby! Normally I do end my stories here, but hey, I'm a glutton for punishment and angst. So what do you think of that little ninja star? How'd that get there? :) We're not quite done. 
> 
> Let me know what you guys think, I love replying to reviews and I will see you all next week!


	32. Chapter Thirty Two

_ Three years later _

 

Sitting on his couch, brothers beside him Raph ran his fingers through his daughter's hair. Her mouth lolled open, drooling on his pant leg. The remains of her birthday cake smeared her dark cheek. Her curls had grown, a wild tangled mess of blackness on most days, though Raph had managed to run a brush through it before company had arrived. She would have been a carbon copy of him had those chocolate eyes not been so bright. His green genes hadn't struck that deeply. 

His fingers ghosted across the dull ninja star lying on his chest. He'd strung it by a leather band long ago, holding it tight to him. Whoever had said absence makes the heart grow fonder didn't know the half of it. The metal may be dull but there was something new and sharp tearing up his insides. It took everything to remind him it hadn't been a dream, though some days the conviction came more clearly than others. 

Forcing a deep breath he dropped his chin in his hand. He himself had changed as well. Work worn muscles had taken the place of teenage lank. Teetering on the cusp of actual legal adulthood he looked more like the twenty-year-old he claimed to be. His jaw had squared, his own curls held back by his red bandana. 

With a great effort to pull himself back to the present, he continued the conversation he'd been trying to keep throughout the whole party. "I was just saying I wish she had some more family, more people she could be close to. There aren't a lot of kids around these parts and even the preschool I'm enrolling her in is really small. And I know she's got the best uncles in the world, but…"

"We're not going anywhere," Leo bumped his arm. Relaxed on the couch beside him each mutant brother seemed to have doubled in size. Though perhaps Raph was simply becoming used to the size of the human beings he saw daily now. 

"I know. But you can't be here all the time. And she's going to need someone around, especially as she gets older."

Mikey leaned forward, setting down his own empty plate of cake. "You're not moving are you? I thought you liked it here."

"No, I'm not moving."

On his lap Reyna whimpered, slowly waking. "Oya?"

"Go back to sleep," he took her in his arms, kissing her forehead. "It's okay." Momentarily distracted he rocked her back and forth until her head dropped to his shoulder. 

Leo watched his brother, an odd sense of pride welling in his chest. His niece had Raph tied around her little finger. "What were you saying?"

Glancing quickly to his brothers Raph pressed on. "I was thinking that… Reyna needs a little brother or sister."

Donny lit up. "Have you been looking at adoption agencies? I know of several good ones in the city. Or were you thinking fostering for a while? I know that's a good way to start."   
"Not exactly," Raph bit his lip. He shifted the toddler to his hip, tugging down the hem of his shirt.

Mouth open Leo shook his head. "You're not…?"

"No," Raph yelped. "No. I'm not pregnant, or not yet I guess."

Silence.

"What?"

"Raph," Donny started slowly. "You do have a good point, in that Reyna could use a sibling. It would be good for her, but I'm not sure how good it would be for you."

He lifted a brow. "In what sense?"

"Your pregnancy with Reyna was really trying on your body. I don't know how healthy it would be for you to try for another one. Besides, how would you go about looking for a donor? You can't exactly sign up for a donation sight."

Raph opened his mouth, shut it, and opened it again. He couldn't share his real goal. He couldn't. They wouldn't believe them. Fiddling with the leather cord around his neck once more Raph found his words. "Okay. Maybe not another biological sibling, but I do want her to have more family."

"How much more family could she have?" Mikey asked. "We're kind of the only brother's you've got. I mean, I guess April counts as a kind of aunt."

"She's her godmother," Raph rolled his eyes. "That's not what I meant either. I meant her grandparents. Kenta's parents."

"I thought you said they'd moved to Japan?" Leo asked slowly. 

"They did," Raph bit the side of his cheek. "They deserve to know about their granddaughter. I can find a way to explain to them. I mean, I lost a friend but they, they lost their son. Don't they deserve to know some part of him still lives in a way?" He couldn't bear to meet his brother's eyes. He's started the explanation as an excuse. Now, however, there was an actual weight to his words. If he was wrong, if his hunch was misguided and those few seconds had been only a dream, there had to be a backup plan, something to keep him from falling back into his despair. 

Leo put a hand on his knee. "You really want to tell them? I mean, it's been three years."

"They deserve to know," he said again. 

And he, Raph himself, deserved a real explanation for that visit he'd had three years ago today. He had to know if Kenta really was alive. 

Taking yet another steading breath Raph steeled himself. "Could you look out for Reyna for a week or so? That's all I need. I'll have a cell phone. But this is a trip I have to take myself."

"Of course we will."

Glancing down at the slumbering toddler in his arms he made a promise. As he excused himself to put her in bed he planted a firm kiss atop her head. "Oya will be back soon baby," he whispered. "And I'm coming back with your dad."  
  


* * *

  
"What's the news then?" Donny perked up as Leo entered, wiping his head off with a towel. 

Dark green skin still damp Leo glanced over with dark circles vision. "Reyna is back with April. Fully stocked toy back and I gave her the extra cash for nighttime pull-ups. though she does seem to do better with April."

Donny nodded. "I'm glad she's back. She handles the nightmares better than Splinter."

"She was supposed to come back with something else," Leo had to keep from grinding out the words.

"I know," Donny dropped his head. "I'm sure she tried her best."

Fury swelled. "If she'd done her best she would have come back with any information. She couldn't even find his destination let alone-"

"Leo." Splinter cut in sharply. "That is enough."

"I'm sorry, Sensei," Leo laid down the towel, fists gripped on the back of the empty rocking chair before him. He stared at the now dusty seat cushion, furiously blinking away the glaze across his eyes. "It's only... Reyna shouldn't be with April. She can't stay there forever. It was only supposed to be a week not, not…"

"Seven months, three weeks and two days?" Mikey hovered in the doorframe.

Leo dropped into the chair beside his brother's empty spot. "Exactly."

"What else is there to do?" Donny asked desperately. It wasn't really a question to his brothers as much as it was to the universe at large. "We've done everything. It's not like we can go there ourselves and look around. We don't exactly blend into the tourist population."

Mikey tried for a smile. The attempt didn't quite reach the effect he was going for. 

"Whatever we attempt next we cannot give up hope." Splinter stayed firm, though admittedly his own spirits had fallen lower than he thought possible. "Your brother is still out there. Raphael is not capable of giving up."

Twisting his fingers Mikey piped up. "But, Sensei, Donny has a point. What else can we do? He's hacked flights, satellites, and traffic cams. There's no sign of Raph anywhere." He swallowed hard. "What if he, he isn't out there to find?"

"No," Splinter cut him off sharply. "Raphael is not dead!"

They all recoiled. Splinter never shouted. Never. 

Tears gathered in Mikey's eyes. None of them had dared utter the possibility. 

Splinter pinched the bridge of his nose. "I apologize, Michelangelo. I did not mean to yell. The stress of this situation should not be able to get the better of me."

"We understand Sensei," Leo's voice was muted. "We're all scared."

The knock at the door cut them all off. 

"Raph?" Mikey managed to squeak. 

"No, wait-" Donny lunged forward, trying to catch his brother. "Mikey!"

He was too fast for eve Leo to get him. 

"Wait!"

All warnings fell on deaf ears. Mikey pulled the door open, ready to throw his arms around his brother. Who else could it be, who else knew where they were. April was with Reyna. It had to him. It had to be.

"Raph, you're finally- what in the-?" Mikey's words caught in his throat, his empty sheth he stared down at the creature before him. It was nothing he recognized. It definitely wasn't human. 

"Mikey!" Leo stepped in front of him, sword brandished. "Who are you and what do you want?"

Lifting their head they blinked mismatched eyes, something clutched in their hand. "My name is Kenta Himura, and I need your help," he held out his hand. There in clawed fingers laid a familiar red bandana. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun, dun, dun, dun. :)
> 
> Oya means 'parent' in Japanese by the way.


	33. Chapter Thirty Three

"How did you get that?" Mikey snatched the bandana from his hand. "Who are you?"

The figure in the doorway swayed alarmingly, gaze trained on the scrap of fabric. "My name is Kenta."

"You can't be," Donny stood behind his brother, eyes the size of dinner plates."

"Kenta Himura is dead," Leo spat. "We saw his grave."

He was shaking his head now. "I swear. I am Kenta."

"Well, you don't look like him." Mikey clutched the banda tightly to his chest. 

"Boys," Splinter barked. They immediately moved for him. Slowly Splinter walked forward, examining the creature with a dark gaze. 

Struggling to stand tall the person who claimed to be Kenta fell into sharper light. He seemed the right height though that was where the similarities ended. Short dark locks, had they once been there, had been shaved away, showing thick green skin beneath. Scales, green and pale yellow crept up his neck. Strong shoulders hid below a thin hospital gown. Each appendage, down to hands and feet had turned to sharp claws. He gazed up at them with mismatched eyes. One had remained the deep chocolate brown they had all seen in pictures, the other however had shifted to a golden yellow, the pupil no more than a dark slit. 

"You look like the lizard from spiderman." Mikey peered over Leo's shoulder. 

The boy pursed his lips, showing several fangs. "You're one to talk."

"You do not seem alarmed by our appearances," Splinter lifted an eyebrow.

"I've seen much worse than you."

Once again splinter took over. "How is it you have come to us?" 

From his pocket, he pulled a ragged map of the sewers. It was eerily familiar, though no one could quite place where they had seen this exact copy. 

Flattening it to the best of his ability Kenta pointed out a small pen mark, a circle around their exact location. "I found a map, from Gun- from someone who spent a lot of time looking for you. don't worry. This is the only copy. No one else knows where you are." He tried to assure only to be met with the utmost skepticism.

"And where is it you've come from?"

"That's a bit more complicated."

"Where did you get this?" Mikey repeated his question, dangling the beat-up red bandana before him. "Is Raph with you?" He tried desperately to peer into the dark sewers behind him.

"No," Kenta folded up the map. "I tried to- but I- I can take you to him," he assured.

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Leo stood firm before his brothers, an impenetrable wall of muscle and sinus. 

"Leo," Mikey took his arm. "It's Raph's bandana. Where else could he have gotten it from?

Donny took the fabric in his own grip, examining it carefully. "Leo… I think he's telling the truth."

"You will have a chance to defend yourself," Splinter waved his sons away. "Come in. Explain. Should we find you to be telling the truth we will take action."

Kenta began to ring his fingers. "I don't know if we have time."

Alarm stopped Mikey short. "What do you mean?"

"My, my parents," Kenta was shaking his head. No, his whole body was shaking. 

"Mr. Himura," Splinter guided the boy inside, one strong arm around his shoulders. "You are unwell. Rest. Explain. We cannot make any moves yet."

He nearly collapsed into the chair he was given. He tucked his leg underneath him, much how Raph had begun doing. 

Forcing unsteady breaths through his lopsided mouth he rubbed the sides of his head. "Where should I start?"

"If you really are Kenta. How about you start with how you aren't dead," Leo crossed his arms, staying determinedly stoic. 

"Right, yes," he hunched over. "My parents. Drs Himura. Both were scientists for Shredder in the early days."

Splinter's expression turned stony. "They really were foot clan then?"

"In a sense," he nodded. "That's what I told Raph."

"And that is how you were aware of his true heritage when you met?"

Kenta's smile, even in tainted lizard form, was soft, kind even. "Yes. It's not every day you meet someone who matches lab records."

"Wait," this time it was Donny who interrupted. "You knew who he was, before you met?"

"Maybe I should start a little further back," Kenta sat up straight. "My parents began as scientists working for Master shredder very early in their lives. They came to America with him, part of his team. But their master began to notice the great interest they took in the ooze that had transformed his greatest enemies into what they were," his glance at the turtles was quickly shot down. 

"What did they want to do?" Donny tried to summon malice, but it was lost behind a curtain of interest. "Did they want to transform shredder or the foot clan?"

"In a sense,'' Kenta rubbed the back of his neck. "They didn't want to make anyone into animals, not like others had been. They wanted to make them stronger, give them attributes of animals without the characteristics."

"It looks like they failed," Donny eyed him just as Mikey interrupted. 

"So totally like the lizard then!"

Splinter shut them both up. "Continue, Mr. Himura."

He cleared his throat. "Shredder gave them a lab, let them experiment on whoever they could get their hands on. There was no value to human life with them," he was starting to shiver now. "I've read their notes. Their experiments drove them to near insanity. But when I was born they… I thought they'd abandoned my work. They told me about all of this, how they'd supposedly left Shredder to let me have a normal life. They encouraged me to live normally," his voice cracked. "It was all a lie. They'd kept working on every single experiment. Members of nearby gangs, many of my friends, were taken, turned to horrible creatures."

Splinter cleared his throat. "Donatello, would you brew some tea, please? Our guest here may need it. Michelangelo, a blanket please."

Both tuned to do what had been asked of them before Kenta stopped them. 

"No," he was shaking his head. "No. I don't need anything. I only need…" He gathered every ounce of strength he could muster. "My parents never stopped. When they found me injured after the gunfight they took me to their lab, told me I could be made stronger. They took me to Japan, tried traditional medicines. I got stronger, I healed. That's when he came. He came to find my parents but we found each other instead. We managed to keep it a secret from my parents. But when they saw him something in them snapped. They took him back."

"Back?"

"How do you think he became human in the first place?"

Silence fell across the room, each now enthralled with the story. 

"They didn't know who he was when I introduced them at first but once I'd been shot they got the story out of me," his words faltered for a moment. "But when they realized who he was, when they saw him in japan, they brought us both back. They said with his DNA they could make me stronger. I, I didn't understand. It was months. They did this to me. But worse, so, so much worse. They have him."

"Have who?" Donny whispered though he could already guess the answer to his question. 

"They have Raph." Kenta's desperation was undeniable now, no amount of acting could possibly produce this much heartfelt terror. "They've had him for months. I've tried everything to get him out, to save him. They won't release him. They won't even let me see him anymore. Please. You have to save him. Please?" He couldn't hold himself up anymore, knees folding beneath him. Kenta crossed his arms tightly over his chest. 

Leo's firm denial started to waver. He'd seen this pain only once before, the night he'd held Raphael for hours while he mourned the boy now sitting only a few feet away from him. 

"Of course we will." Splinter took to his feet, leveling a determined glare at each of his sons. "We will bring him back home."

"You have to dismantle that lab," Kenta whispered. "If you think I look bad… they've done so much worse to so many people."

Mikey swallowed the squeak in his throat. "What about Raph? What have they done to Raph?"

Kenta couldn't find words, shaking his head. "It's not what they've done to him. It's what I have. This is all my fault."

Splinter knelt beside the boy. "What has happened to Raphael?"

Kenta looked up, tears spilling thick and fast down his cheeks. "He's pregnant."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this story is so long. Wild. Anywho...
> 
> Dun, dun, dun!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I really hope you enjoy. This one is gonna be a long one. 
> 
> I'll try to update once a week or more depending on feedback. 
> 
> Any reviews I will try to respond to. Feel free to send in requests for scenes you want to see or ask any questions. 
> 
> Thank you again!!!


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